Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

Sobriety Hacks...from Neuroscientist Staci Danford

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
This week my guest is Staci Danford - this is the second time she has been on the podcast - you can have a listen to our previous conversation here.
Staci is a neuroscientist who loves working with the sober community.  In this episode she shares some really practical and useful information about our brain.
In this Episode
Staci’s husband walked out on her just before her 50th birthday – she was devastated at the time but now the years have passed she is able to look back and see that event as a catalyst for change… a real Wake Up Call
Realising that she must take responsibility for her own happiness she went to grad school to study neuroscience
Staci has no issues with alcohol but her father was an alcoholic – the whole family had tried to convince him to stop for years but only when he decided to stop himself did it work..
We talked about rehab and Staci explained that the success rate is a shockingly low 13.8%
She explained that our brain tricks us into thinking that alcohol is making us happy but in fact it is a depressant – if you’ve been drinking for years then the alcohol will have altered the balance of your brain which is why you become increasingly dependent.
When we understand how our brains work we can work with it – and that’s when the magic will happen – a great analogy is to think of how we use our computers – we work with programs that are installed in our computers – not against them!
Understanding our brains means that we can understand ourselves better and see what we are gaining by ditching the drink – we need to create a “pattern interruptor”
We mustn’t try to alter multiple habits at the same time – far better to focus on just the one
Here at Tribe Sober we say “Just chase one rabbit at a time – if you chase several the chances are that they will all escape!”
Staci advises that we focus on our successes “today I resisted a drink” and don’t look too far into the future (or avoid the F word as we say at Tribe Sober!)
If you listened to Tribe Sober podcast episode 55 which was called “The Happy Brain” with Loretta Breuning, you may remember that she recommended setting an overall goal and dividing it up into smaller goals – this will keep our happy chemicals flowing as just aiming for a mini goal will trigger dopamine and of course we’ll feel good when we reach it.
Staci is in agreement with Loretta and used the marathon analogy – if we sign up for a marathon we don’t immediately go out and try to run 26 miles – we design a training program and divide it into daily sessions – running a bit further every day..
You can find a great example of this on Episode 15 of the Tribe Sober podcast with one of our Sober Springers Kai – he did SS, achieved 66 AF days, then aimed for 100days, then 6 months, then a year – and now 3 years later he still hasn’t had a drink – but still doesn’t say its forever!
Staci explained how our primitive lizard brain will go on autopilot unless we intervene – she calls her Lizard Brain Earl and calls him out if he tries to hijack her behaviour!
She confirmed that our 66 day Sober Spring Challenge is long enough to create a new neural pathway to change our drinking patterns
She also said that the “secret sauce” of Sober Spring was the community support
We discussed the fact that our “drinking neural pathway will always be with us (if we’ve been drinking for years) – and that its easy to reactivate if we start trying to “moderate” after a period of sobriety. Staci loves our Goodbye to Alcohol letters and suggests reading them regularly to remind ourselves how bad the drinking got!
She came up with a list of quick tips to boost our happy chemicals
We start our annual 66 day challenge in September - called Sober Spring here in South Africa but can be Sober Autumn as well
Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community - and this month new members will get a complimentary Sober Spring Challenge
Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membershipMore infoSubscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you
want to change your relationship with alcohol then           sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE   
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x

Drink less...for your Breasts with Kathryn Elliott

 
My guest this week is Kathryn Elliott who has been interviewed for a previous podcast focussing on Binge Drinking 
Kathryn and I were both heavy drinkers…. and we’ve both had breast cancer
These days we are both sober… and passionate about empowering other women with the knowledge they need about the link between alcohol and breast cancer.
Knowledge which will make them think twice next time they think about having a drink.
In this episode:-
We talked about binge drinking which many of us get into when we are teenagers… and then keep the habit going until we are much older
For example Kathryn was a binge drinker from the age of 15 to 46!
Through her work as an alcohol mindset coach she has discovered that binge drinkers share similar traits:-
A) Started binge drinking at an early age
B) Celebrated by their peers and society for this behaviour
C) Their binge drinking not perceived as a problem… more a rite of passage
We agreed that many people are unaware of the definition of binge drinking – they tend to think it’s about the kids knocking back 15 tequila shots in a nightclub but in reality it’s more likely to be an older woman sitting at home alone drinking a bottle of wine.
So to be clear the definition of a binge is 4 standard drinks on one occasion for a woman and 5 for a man
If we are binge drinking on a regular basis our liver will not get adequate time to recover – which is why low risk guidelines suggest going alcohol free for several days a week
Kathryn explained the psychological profile of a binge drinker - a fast drinker, without an off switch, often blacking out and unable to get control of it over many years in spite of setting rules.
We also agreed that willpower was ineffective when trying to control binge drinking – so many of us have tried "the rules" – I’m only having 2 glasses of wine tonight etc but once the first glass is drunk all the bets are off!
The only thing that will work is a mindshift, working on our limiting beliefs so we can see alcohol for the poison that it is
Kathryn and I are both breast cancer thrivers and we were equally shocked with our diagnosis - neither of us had any idea that there was a link between alcohol and breast cancer
Kathryn began to do her own research into the link and was shocked by what she found… also shocked as she realised that this was never a topic of conversation with her friends nor had she ever seen a health campaign highlighting this
She was also shocked to discover that even low to moderate amounts of alcohol will increase our risk of breast cancer
Just 3 standard glasses of wine a week can increase the breast cancer risk by 15%
Each additional drink will add another 10% to that risk
During her research Kathryn came across an American campaign called "Drink Less for your Breasts" which was impressive and had so much information
The research was showing patterns… links between early binge drinking habits that could show up as breast cancer later i
Both Kathryn and I had estrogen driven breast cancer – and alcohol does increase the amount of estrogen in the system
We agreed that the lifestyle choice to be alcohol free that we have both taken feels empowering…
We can’t guarantee that we’ll never get a recurrence of our cancers but we can be confident that we are doing everything we can to avoid it
So Kathryn and I chatted about our binge drinking and our breast cancers and then moved onto our third topic which is educating corporates about the health risks of alcohol
Kathryn is running seminars for leaders and employees in workplaces to help them understand how alcohol impacts their emotional, mental and physical health.
I think this kind of initiative is well overdue and certainly would have welcomed it during my corporate career which involved a work hard/play hard culture!
A lot of Kathryn’s clients are executives who’ve had alcohol issues which had either been enabled through the workplace or had been completely ignored.
That prompted Kathryn to go into workplaces and approach the topic of alcohol, bringing it into a conversation about, wellness, mental health and productivity.
Such a brilliant way to start an ongoing dialogue about the subject
She gives practical tips about taking a break from alcohol and mindful drinking as well
Kathryn also shares her personal story which a lot of people can relate to
She currently promoting a "Sip Smart" campaign for the festive season so do contact her if you think your workplace would benefit from more awareness around this topic
Workplaces are also getting more diverse which means a lot of employees don’t drink so events need to be inclusive and offer a wide range of non alcoholic drinks as well
I asked Kathryn whether it had been a hard sell to convince companies to let their staff watch her talks and webinars
She explained that so long as she’s not telling people they drink too much and/or they must quit the management are quite comfortable with her just sharing information
A lot of the people she talks to have no idea how harmful alcohol is…. that’s something I find when we do our Masterclasses as well..
Something which is reflected in the statistic I mentioned in the intro…. only 34% of women know there is a link between drinking alcohol and breast cancer
We talked about the influence of leaders to role model sensible drinking to their employees
I shared the story of a leader from Tribe Sober – Nick was a big drinker himself but when he quit drinking the culture of the company changed – you can hear Nick’s story here
We ended the conversation with Kathryn’s top 3 benefits of being alcohol free
better connection with herself,
more energy now she’s free from worrying about alcohol
living a purposeful career as she helps others to change their relationship with alcohol.
To contact Kathryn about her corporate work of individual coaching – website is: alcoholmindsetcoach.com 
DM via IG @alcoholmindsetcoach
More Info
Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

From Rock Bottom to Recovery with Jared Klickstein

My guest today is an extraordinary young man – his parents were both heroin addicts and he became an addict himself.  His rock bottom included jailtime, homelessness and self mutilation. 
In the episode
Both of Jared’s parents were drug addicts but although life was chaotic they did manage to parent Jared until they got arrested when he was 12 years old
Then he went to live with his aunt who “rescued” him as he put it
Sadly his mother died of her heroin addiction when he was 14 years old which led to him using alcohol to cope with the pain of losing her
Jared describes himself as a “functioning alcoholic” from the age of 15 years old
At the age of 18 he started using Oxycontin as he was very against heroin due to his parents' experience
He didn’t know what Oxycontin was but it was a pill made by a pharmaceutical company so he assumed it was safe
He quickly became addicted and discovered that its very similar to heroin and in fact he switched to heroin 
Whereas alcohol had helped him feel more confident and enable him to socialise heroin completely numbed his feelings
As he says cocaine or acid can amplify emotions whereas with heroin he felt he was purchasing 12 hours of oblivion
Jared continued to use heroin but as he puts it “ the effects diminished as the consequences increased”
These consequences included selling his possessions to get heroin and by the age of 22 he was homeless and living on skid row
Heroin was still effective in completely numbing him from reality – the reality that he was homeless, penniless and without a family member to turn to…
However by the age of 25 reality was getting through so he began taking multiple drugs to block it out
The consequences got more serious and he ended up spending time in jail and suffering serious health problems
He would black out and wake up with injuries – once he lost a toe, another time he woke up with a serious facial injury
That was when he finally decided to consider the idea of getting clean
He managed to get sober via a state funded rehab where he lived for four months
There are only four state funded rehabs in California and many more for profit rehabs
On the subject of rehabs Jared gave us some shocking information about corruption in the rehab industry,
Quote from one of Jareds article “the rehab industry has become nothing more than a glorified insurance scam with a terrible success rate… ..despite making billions upon billions of dollars
Can you imagine paying $30,000 for something that doesn’t work 90% of the time?
Yet new rehabs are popping up almost daily with no sign of slowing”
When Jared got clean he longed for tangible things, he wanted a job and somewhere to live… he had no idea of the intangible benefits that would come his way – a sense of self worth, the ability to love himself and the joy that comes from helping others
Apart from helping others to get clean Jared is influencing policy decisions and feels there is currently a political will to change the current situation
People and companies are leaving California which is reducing tax income, forcing politicians to come up with solutions
That’s why he feels that politicians are open to dialogue with someone like him… someone who understands addiction and homelessness from the inside
Jared has plenty of ideas to bring about social change which he writes about in his book the Crooked Smile which will be published in 2024
His articles can be read via Substack, he is on TW @jaredklickstein and his email is…jklickst@gmail.com
More Info
Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

How to Break Free from the Booze Trap!

On this weeks solo episode I talk about our Breaking Free program which we run four times a year. 
Registration for the current program is open until 13th October - more info here.
We limit each Breaking Free group to 20 so you’ll always get personal attention
In this episode:-
I talk about the warning signs of alcohol dependence as well as the benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle
The Breaking Free program has four components…
Four pieces of a puzzle that come together to create a transformation…
The first piece of the puzzle is Community Support so we connect you with the other people on the Breaking Free program
 We put you in a chatgroup with where you’ll also find some TS team members to answer any questions you may have
The second piece is our 4 hour Masterclass – a group session which we hold via Zoom.  Another opportunity to get to know the other people on the program as everyone will share their story at the beginning of the session.  By the end of the Masterclass you’ll understand:-
The importance of a mindset change and the damage alcohol does to our health
We’ll be sharing our tried and tested sobriety toolkit and you’ll end the session feeling motivated and excited about the changes ahead.
While the Masterclass will give you an overview of the Tribe Sober approach to thriving in sobriety the online course will enable you to dive deeper at your own pace.  You’ll get all the theory and training you need to overturn your limiting beliefs around alcohol which is the key….
Just as we’ve been programmed into thinking that alcohol is an essential part of our daily lives our online program will de-program you and enable you to understand that you will be happier and healthier without it!
The third piece is our online course which includes videos, podcasts, articles and book recommendations so you’ll be able to throw the book at your sobriety – you’ll be able to treat it as a 3-month project that will change the trajectory of your future.
The fourth part of the puzzle is the personal support. 
You’ll have a 1.2.1 Zoom call with me so that I can hear your story and give you some personal guidance
My colleague Sue will catch up with you midway through the course to get a progress report and
Last but not least you can book a session with our Coach Lynette who will discuss how you are applying the theory of the Breaking Free program to your daily life
So that’s the four pieces of our Breaking Free puzzle, four pieces that will come together to create an alcohol free lifestyle that you love..
Apart from creating a program that will get results we’ve created a program that is flexible and will fit in with your busy lives…. 
All of the 1.2.1’s can be scheduled to suit your convenience, the online course can be worked through at your own pace so the only timeslot you need to fit in is the four hour Masterclass.
While we’re on the subject of time that’s one of the unexpected benefits of sobriety….. when we no longer spend time drinking and recovering from the drinking we find ourselves with extra time on our hands….
As well as the energy to do something constructive with that time!
Registration for the current Breaking Free program is open until 13th October - more info here.
More Info
Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 
 

Attorney in Recovery - Lily Shanks

My guest today is Recovering Attorney Lily
Lily was my guest on the episode which came out on May 6th – its already had 2,000 downloads and we had some great feedback from that one – if you missed it then have a listen to Lily sharing her story here 
Lily is a coach these days and one of the things that she helps people with is Relationship Coaching so today we’re going to focus on Sober Dating
If your romantic relationships have always been lubricated with alcohol then this could be a skill you’ll need in your toolkit as you build your alcohol free life
In this episode:-
Lily’s full drinking story can be found on our previous episode which came out in May but she gave us a summary
She began her drinking career as a teenager and it continued during her legal career.
She became a daily drinker, frequently drinking alone and experiencing blackouts
At 37 she reached rock bottom – in fact as she says in her previous interview she had a series of rock bottoms, one of which involved drinking alone in her apartment all weekend
She felt hopeless, useless and miserable and finally reached out for some help
Reaching out for help is actually the hardest step of all - so if you’re worried about your drinking then reach out to tribe sober today – just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe and we’ll show you how to quit drinking and build an alcohol free life you love
So Lily got sober in 2018 and she’s been sober ever since – if you want to hear how she did it catch the previous episode
As we switched to talking about relationships Lily explained that she’d been shy as a child so as a teenager alcohol helped her to fit in – to feel part of things
It helped her to feel prettier, funnier and more vivacious, especially around men
As she got older alcohol would always be a major player in her relationships
She would drink before the date… which often took place in a bar
If her dates didn’t drink like she did then that could be a problem
Lily believed that alcohol made everything a bit brighter, a bit easier and less awkward – she just couldn’t imagine her life without it
She certainly couldn’t imagine dating without it!
During her first year of sobriety she didn’t date at all
She believed the advice she had heard about focusing on sobriety and avoiding any major life changes during that first year.
Major life changes like changing jobs, moving house and of course starting a new relationship
Lily had to focus on learning to love and look after herself before she would be in an emotional state to look after someone else
She had the insight that she had been using men a bit like she’s been using alcohol – the highs of a new relationship giving her a dopamine hit and making her feel good just like alcohol did
As Lily moved into her second year of sobriety she went on her first sober date
She knew the guy, they both liked and respected each other and they had things in common
Although that relationship didn’t develop into anything serious Lily felt proud of herself – proud that she had shown up as a very different person
By this point she felt so much clearer about who she was, what she wanted and what kind of person she was looking for
We talked about the risk of relationships between people in recovery and how they can crash and burn
The common struggle may create a bond which means you feel that you’ve found your soulmate but it makes sense for you both to get that year of sobriety first to avoid any risk of relapse
We talked about the dangers of cross addiction and how we can transfer our love affair with alcohol to food or shopping or sex
I asked Lily how a sober person should start looking for a new relationship once they had completed their first alcohol free year
Apparently there are sober dating apps/websites – in fact a quick google search came up with a list of 8 sober dating apps which I’ll add to the shownotes
https://resurgencebehavioralhealth.com/blog/8-best-sober-apps-for-people-in-recovery/
Although Lily met some good people via dating apps when she was drinking these days she feels more comfortable getting to know people first via a shared interest or through friends
We talked about the best way for sober people to use the regular dating apps and agreed that it’s far better to disclose that you don’t drink alcohol in your profile – even if you get fewer matches it’s far better to know in advance that your sobriety may be a problem for some people!
The people who don’t match with you because of your sobriety are very likely to have a drinking problem themselves so they would not be right for you anyway!
First dates very often involve sitting across from each other eating and drinking but as Lily says an experiential date will take a lot of the pressure off – taking a walk, going to a dog park, going out for breakfast
One of her best first dates was a trip to a museum
I asked Lily what she had learned from her experience of sober dating
She’s learned to listen to her intuition – that gut feeling that tells her that this is someone she feels comfortable with…
She’s also experienced the opposite feeling when she hasn’t felt comfortable with someone – had she been drinking she would often ignore that intuition and any red flags which could lead to problems later on in the evening
If someone is feeling isolated and lonely in their sobriety the focus should be on connecting with a community rather than focusing on finding a romantic partner – so even if you have been sober for a while if you are feeling lonely then take a look at some online sobriety groups – go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe if you’d like to try out our international community
Sobriety has enabled Lily to turn up for all her relationships more authentically
Once we are able to love ourselves we are so much better placed to build a relationship
So here are Lilys top 3 tips for sober daters:-Have a solid foundation to your sobriety  by experiencing restaurants and bars with friends who are drinking first
          Have clarity about what you are looking for and how you are going to show up  and be prepared to leave the date if              you feel your sobriety is at risk
          Have fun!  - keep it light, meet lots of people and remember if a relationship doesn’t work out it means the universe has             something better in store   
You can find Lily on her website which is myinternalweather.com – where you can find articles and tips on sober dating
More Info
Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 
 

Layering your Sober Tools.....with Belle

Belle got sober back in 2012 and was one of the first people in the Sober Space, one of the first to share her own story and to try and help others to make a change…
In this episode:-
Belle was not interested in alcohol as a teenager, she’d actually noticed what it did to people and didn’t like what she saw
As she got into her twenties she started to drink the odd beer
Interestingly she would never buy a six pack – somehow she knew it was a better idea to buy a single beer at a time
Way before she had developed any level of dependence she recognized that alcohol “spoke to her” as she put it…
A decade later her consumption stepped up until she was drinking four or five times a week, three or four drinks at a time
As she hit 30 she was finding it harder to moderate
She started taking AF beers to social events and alternating between her alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks
A decade later she decided that she needed to take a break from alcohol to prove that she wasn’t an alcoholic
In her late 30’s Belle got married and felt she had a “partner in crime” as she put it
Drinking wine with dinner at home and ordering a bottle when they were out didn’t seem at all excessive
They would order wine by the case and it felt very “grown up” and sophisticated
Belle’s husband drank the same amounts that she did but in fact he didn’t think about alcohol in the same way that she did
This realization actually didn’t surface until she quit when she realized that he could take it or leave it – he was a “normie” as she puts it
Belle was used to taking a few days off the booze now and then when her workload got heavy or she had to get up early but when she decided to quit for a month she only got to 7 days
That was when it hit her that she might have a problem
Her second attempt at taking a month off alcohol also failed so she decided she had to approach this differently
A friend of hers sent her an anonymous blog from someone who was trying to quit
Belle loved the idea of blogging… and getting responses from people who were on the same path
She created a blog on wordpress and posted her first entry
She got an encouraging response the next day and found it “surprisingly helpful”
People were giving her advice and confirming that yes those first couple of weeks were hard and suddenly she realized she wasn’t alone
There was actually a roadmap to this sobriety journey!
Back in 2012 there were no real alternatives to AA or rehab
She had never felt “bad enough” for those options so imagined she would just have to struggle along as a grey area drinker
Her blog was such a revelation that she wasn’t alone in this and that there were other people out there who she could connect with
She blogged for a year and then started to offer online support via daily emails  
I asked Belle for her personal benefits of sobriety and she listed sleep, being able to count on herself and feeling proud of herself – for making such a big change with a ripple effect.
Her anxiety and irritability reduced and overall she was surprised at the positive impact this change had made to her life
She remains unconcerned about questions about her alcohol free lifestyle as she feels that people are actually not that interested
If asked she just says “I’m not drinking these days as it was affecting my sleep” and finds that nobody ever takes it further…
In 2016 she wrote a book called Tired of Thinking about Drinking which was the name of her blog
If you’re familiar with Belle’s work then you will know all about Wolfie – that was the name she gave the voice in her head urging her to drink
I loved Belle’s analogy about the toddler in the supermarket yelling for a donut…. If you give him a donut he will just repeat that behaviour next time…
The trick of course is to deny the donut that first time and even though it might get noisy and embarrassing in the supermarket the child is unlikely to repeat the behaviour as it didn’t work
So we have learn to say no to Wolfie – say no to that voice in our head telling us we can have a drink!
So what can we learn from Belles inspiring story…?
Just like Belle so many of us try to take a short break to prove we are not alcoholic!
I think that accounts for the popularity of Dry January… most people can grit their teeth and white knuckle it through 30 days using willpower alone but of course making a permanent change is about changing our mindset
So many of us realise that we do have a problem with alcohol when we try to take a break and find it really hard – that’s why it’s so important to take regular breaks
Belle uses the analogy of underwater swimming, as she says we can hold our breath but we'll only get so far…without tools, strategies and support it's going to be hard for many people to clock up more than 7-9 alcohol free days
We agreed that a 30 day break is just not long enough to learn anything or to experience any real benefits – that’s why we offer our 66 day Challenge which you can start anyday in September – just go the tribesober.com where you’ll see the info on the homepage
As Belle said it makes sense to take a challenge and quit for a certain number of days… and then extend it – that approach has worked really well for many of our members
At Tribe Sober we avoid the "F" word – the Forever word - it’s just too overwhelming – the thought of never drinking again – the answer is to do it in stages
As Belle said our head tells us sorts of things when we try to quit… and that’s probably because for most of us the dependence is psychological rather than physical
Only 10% of drinkers are physically dependent and those are the people who will experience serious withdrawal symptoms and need to go to rehab for a medical detox
If you want to learn more about this then go to Tribe Sober podcast episode called “Are you physically or psychologically addicted to alcohol?” which was released on June 19th 2021
Even if you are only psychologically dependent you do need to prepare yourself for a period of feeling unwell when you first quit
However as Belle explained that it’s important to remember that its only parts of each day that will be difficult
You’re bound to wake up feeling good, and pleased with yourself just as its very likely you’ll get to 5pm and wonder why on earth you are doing this.. as that will be when Wolfie will be whispering in your ear!
Being aware of this ebb and flow will help you to get through
Another great tip from Belle was that if whatever we’ve done in the past to quit didn’t work then rather than drop that method and try something else - we can “layer” another method on top
Think about Layering…If we’re cold we don’t take off a blanket and put another one on…. We add more blankets!
At the back of her book (Tired of Thinking about Drinking) Belle has 60 sober tools… people tend to pick the easiest ones….and if they don’t work they try others
So the secret is to keep those easier ones going and layer more on top
Belle used her blog to track her sober journey and would write everyday…. she felt it was more powerful than journaling as she felt more accountable
That’s why she asks people to email her and let her know how they are doing… and that’s why we have our various chatgroups where our members can post their ups and downs and get responses
Tips from Belle to someone who wants to make the change but not sure where to start… read a couple of books, listen to some podcasts and then find a sobriety group that resonates with you
As she said you don’t want a room full of people on day one… you need people at all stages of the journey.. people you can learn from and give you advice, people who will inspire you to keep going
We can offer you that at Tribe Sober so if you’re ready dive in, get learning, connecting and get started on the roadmap then join Tribe Sober 
Your can order Belle's book and learn more about her Challenge on tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 
 

Sobriety is the Ultimate Life Hack! with Kirsty from Soberbuzz

My guest today is Kirsty Mulcahy from Soberbuzz Scotland
Her work is focussed on supporting people to go alcohol free – she also coaches people who are sober and are asking themselves what comes next…
In this episode:-
Kirsty started drinking at the age of 14
The first night she drank she ended up in hospital having her stomach pumped
That one weekend changed the trajectory of Kirsty's schooling
Previously she’s loved school and was doing well but after the stomach pumping incident she hung out with the people she’d been drinking with – she needed to “fit in”
We agreed that even when we get older we still have the need to fit in and one of the fears of quitting is around out identity – who will we be if we don’t drink!
Who will my people be?
We agreed that we are both blessed to be working in the recovery community where we have found our people and get purpose from helping people to change their lives
Kirsty left school early and went to leave abroad at the age of 17
She drank heavily and took recreational drugs until she was 21
Returning to the UK she had the intention of returning to live overseas but she fell in love and had a child
At the age of 27 she separated from her partner and became a single mom
That’s when she realized that she had a problem with alcohol…although she didn’t stop until she was 41
14 years of knowing but not changing..
14 years of thinking this isn’t right but feeling trapped because she had no idea HOW to make a change
I so identify with this and in fact the average time that someone takes from the realization that they have a problem and doing something about it is 11 years
So if you are in that place of knowing that you have a problem but feeling trapped please reach out today… there is help available, go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe!
Apart from not knowing how to quit drinking Kirsty's whole identify was wrapped up in being the party girl
There was also a dark side to the partying which was when she drank alone
When Kirstys mom died suddenly she was 33 and her drinking became heavier
She had no sober people in her life, no role models showing her that an alcohol free life was possible
She had been to an AA meeting in her 20’s but was unable to relate to the people she found there
Apart from the shock of losing her mom Kirsty had to cope with a lot of extra responsibility and she no longer had childcare for when she went to work
She had no coping mechanisms so turned to alcohol
Kirsty tried putting various rules in place around her drinking but ended up breaking them
She had lots of “rock bottoms” but found herself moving the goalposts
For example she thought that if she ever woke up in a strangers house the morning after she would quit
But she did…and she didn’t quit
One of the things that prevented her from getting help was the shame… she just didn’t want to tell anyone how bad it had got
Another factor that kept her trapped was the thought that people would realise that she had a problem if we stopped
When we give up smoking we get congratulated but when we give up drinking we just get lots of awkward questions!
Like many of us Kirsty was high functioning and managed to hold down a job and maintain her parenting role..
She also poured huge energy into keeping everybody happy so that no-one questioned what was going on in her life
Without her mom to look out for her Kirsty felt very alone… there was nobody close to her to see just how bad her drinking had got…nobody to advise her
Her final rock bottom came in December 2017 when she woke up surrounded by empty bottles and drug paraphernalia…
She got on her knees and asked for help…
She couldn’t do this anymore…
If YOU ever wake up feeling exhausted and hungover… and decide you can’t do this anymore please embrace that moment, it’s your turning point so don’t ignore it, reach out for some help 
Kirsty reached out for some help that day.. she signed herself into a crisis centre
When she returned home she went cold turkey
This was a big risk – when she saw a doctor she told her she could have died… after drinking 2-3 bottles of wine plus spirits a day she actually needed a medical detox
Thankfully Kirsty did survive although she describes her detox as “hell”
As she clocked up some alcohol free time she began to realise that it was not drugs or alcohol that she craved… it was love…
When we ditch the booze and go alcohol free we learn how to love ourselves again
It starts with the pride we feel as we achieve some sober time and stay on track
Kirsty had to figure out how to care for herself
She went to bed straight after dinner to avoid thinking about drinking, she drank lots of water, she ate well, she began to be truthful with her friends and she began a journaling and gratitude practice
She took it hour by hour in those early days and it began to stick
The more time that passed since her last drink the more space she got in her mind
She got space to reflect on what she really needed
A beautiful space as she calls it
For the first 6 months her focus was on staying alive and not drinking
When she got to 6 months she realized that she was “doing sobriety”
She kept her head down and focused on getting to her first Soberversary
As she said sobriety is a journey… not a destination
Drinking is about self destruction whereas recovery is about recovering our true selves
When she hit a year of sobriety Kirsty knew she would never drink again
Her life is so different – she describes it as “night and day”
We talked about the fear of losing friends that many of us have when we quit drinking and agreed that we’ve lost some drinking buddies but our true friends have stuck by us
As Kirsty said our friendship circle evolves throughout our lifetime anyway… as she said some friends are for a season, some are for a reason and some are for life..
Some of her friends expressed interest in taking a break from alcohol so she created an online community called Soberbuzz
They were holding sober events but then the pandemic hit
So they shifted to zoom meetings to support each other and share their experiences
We talked about the benefits of sobriety…
For Kirsty the fact that she now has an open line of communication with her daughter is a big one – alcohol used to be the elephant in the room but now they can talk honestly to each other
She has learnt to love herself again and can look back on her life with compassion for that younger woman
She’s escaped the shame cycle which was keeping her stuck
She loves the people that she meets and gets to support
We often say that at Tribe Sober .. we get to create a family with a deep connection, people from all over the world coming together to change their lives
I loved Kirstys description of sobriety as being the best life hack…ever
Kirsty is a life coach working with people in sobriety who often say ..I think I would like to have a couple of glasses of wine… but eventually they say “why would I even want to do that..?”
As we clock up sober time we realise that we are gaining SO much more than we are losing and we don’t want to give up all those benefits
You can find Kirsty on IG at soberbuzzscotland and at skyrosecoaching.co.uk
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 
 
 

Sobriety Superstar! - Jane’s Transformation Story

 
In this episode I interview an important member of our Tribe Sober team - Jane Rivera.  She came along to a workshop in 2016, ditched the drink and remains a valued Tribe member, inspiring others to change their relationship with alcohol.  
In this Episode
Jane tells her how her mindset has gone from "wanting to die" to "can't get enough of life"
She was introduced to alcohol at an early age as her parents bought a pub in the UK
She moved to Joburg as a teenager but struggled to settle and went off the rails
A happy marriage and two beautiful children still didn't stop her from hitting the wine
Jane finally realised that she would have to make a change when she felt her husband and kids pulling away from her
She heard Janet on the radio and booked a workshop 
She left the workshop thinking she would stay alcohol free for a while and then start drinking moderately
These workshops are now called Kickstart Masterclass and are available via Zoom - more info here 
After a few months of AF living Jane was feeling great and accepted that she would never be able to have "just one glass"
She now loves her AF life, is close to her family again - and loves helping people in our community
She has recently relocated to Norway - an adventure she could never have coped with back in her drinking days!More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

Recovery:- It’s a Brain Thing... with Dave & Susan Kenney

 
So my guests today are Dave & Susan Kenney   -  they believe that understanding the brain is the key to recovery and are the pioneers of Actualised Recovery – an approach which combines neuroscience, psychology and lifestyle medicine.  After running their own residential recovery program for a decade they have now pivoted to training recovery coaches. 
 In this episode:-
At school Dave had excelled at sport but had struggled academically leading to him being called “lazy”
Now that he understands so much more about the brain he sees that as a sign of his brain not working properly as he really wanted to do well.. and in fact believes that all children and adults want to do well
He got into university on a sports scholarship and became an educator
In 2008 as educators Dave & Susan noticed many kids struggling socially, academically and with addiction
Although back then they knew nothing about the brain and hadn’t even heard of neuroplasticity they started to wonder whether it was possible to change a brain
They came across the work of a neuro psychologist called Daniel Amen – He had published a book called “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life”
The book is about neuroplasticity which is our ability to rewire our brains
Dave explained the concept that the brain drives behaviour – a concept which has been fundamental to their work and which they decided to apply to the world of recovery and
The brain drives our patterns, our cravings and our choices so if we change our brains we can change our behaviour
Dave explained that he sees the brain as the hardware of a computer and it’s no good addressing the software if the hardware is faulty
So meditation, CBT or any other kind of therapy is not going to work if the brain is not working properly
Dave came up with the analogy that trauma can be likened to a virus on a computer … causing our brains to dysfunction
He also made the point that not everybody becomes addicted to alcohol – the people who do get addicted have a brain which is chemically predisposed to getting relief from alcohol
If we impact and change the brain we can enable the person to create better habits and change their behaviours
The catalyst for applying their knowledge to the recovery world was hearing about a friend who had lost her son to suicide which galvanized them into setting up their own recovery centre
for 12 years they ran a private residential recovery program based on this Brain First approach – helping thousands of people and living on campus themselves
Dave would interview patients on arrival and ask them what they would choose if he could give them anything – nine out of ten said happiness
We discussed the futility of chasing short term goals to be happy – whether that’s a shot of tequila or a new car
Dave shared his favourite word with us with is:-
Eudomonia: which is living a life of long term values – the premise being that happiness and wellbeing come from how we live our lives rather than the pursuit of material wealth or power
For Susan the definition of happiness is a life led with purpose
Their approach fits with Maslows hierarchy which has purpose and self actualization at the top but physiological needs at the foundations – Susan explained that most patients would be dehydrated on arrival so no amount of therapy was going to work until that was put right
They would work on basic health and then the therapies and treatments could come in
There was an essential family component to their recovery program which often involved coaching the family how to agree boundaries rather than making threats
We talked of the importance of changing patterns in early recovery..- you can’t just take away the alcohol and carry on with the same behaviour…
So many of our patterns involve coupling various activities with alcohol – for example cooking dinner while sipping a glass of wine – we have to work on replacing this habit until we can cook happily without the wine
“The more a neuron fires the stronger it wires” in other words our new habits will get stronger over time
Dave & Susan closed their clinic when Covid hit and have now pivoted into training recovery coaches – using all the knowledge they built up working in their clinic over the years
Dave's definition of recovery coaching is simply to enable people to live their limitless lives
They have an internationally certified Recovery Coaching program – an 8 week online program
Unlike many programs they don’t believe that a recovery coach needs to have gone through their own struggles to be a good coach
The rationale being that coaching is about asking the right questions and listening deeply to the answers rather than sharing our own stories
One of their students made the interesting point that people should be trained in recovery coaching before life coaching as understanding the brain and why people do what they do should be the foundation for the kind of goal setting that a life coach would do…
Susan & David are both graduates of the Amen University Brain Education program – so they are brain coaches
Susan is qualified in positive psychology and Dave is doing his PhD in neuroscience and psychology
In spite of their academic qualifications they manage to deliver the knowledge and tools required by their coaches in an easily understood format
A mix of psychology, neuroscience and addiction is on the curriculum
They are able to distil complex issues down to a practical format which can be applied straight away
Their approach is very different to 12 steps and in fact their book is called "Recovery is not about 12 steps – it’s a brain thing"
He disagrees with Step 1 of AA -  "I am Powerless"
A more constructive approach would be Viktor Frankl and Logotherapy… he identifies the stimulus, the gap and the response – we always get a chance to choose during the gap –
That gap is not powerlessness – that’s where our power lies
We only lose our power when we have that first drink
Labelling people "powerless and an alcoholic" is keeping them in a victim role
I explained that Tribe Sober's approach is to enable our members to quit drinking and then to build an alcohol free life they love
The focus is not on living a life of sobriety, rather on enabling people to thrive and discover what they really want out of their lives
Susan agrees that if we focus on building healthy habits and wellbeing the recovery will take care of itself
A nice tip from Susan to calm the brain before sleeping is to have a notebook and write in 3 good things that happened during the day…and to add why at the end … same with gratitude.. that will attach an emotion and make it more meaningful to the brain – it’s the "why" that engages the brain
We talked about the tragic statistic that only 10% of Americans struggling with addiction actually reach out and how we could change that
We also agreed that addiction is a "white collar" problem - people who won't go to AA
They believe the key is to reduce the stigma by education and their current mission is to create a Tribe of Actualized Recovery Coach Warriors to impact more than 1 million people by 2026.
They have a new book coming out ACTUALIZED RECOVERY® — It’s Not About 12-Steps. Recovery is a Brain Thing
You can contact Dave & Susan via their website which is Emergoacademy.com 
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

How to Heal....after the Drinking with Laura Gujadhur

Even though we offer our members a lot of support already we’re always on the look out for new benefits.
So these days apart from yoga, meditation, coaching, hypnotherapy, art therapy and accountability groups we can offer our members a functional medicine coach.
A Functional Medicine Coach can help us with the transition between drinking a building a healthy lifestyle.  We all know vaguely what we need to do to be healthy but a Health Coach will personalise that plan for you and then ensure that you put it into action!
So Tribe Sober’s new Functional Health Coach is called Laura Gujadhur 
We began by clarifying the difference between functional medicine and conventional medicine.
Laura explained that conventional medicine is disease management and treatment of symptoms whereas Functional medicine looks at the root cause of disease
An example would be going to a conventional doctor with a rash – that doctor would be unlikely to ask you about your diet, your stress levels and whether you’ve had allergy tests -he would probably give you a cream to calm down the rash but he wouldn’t have got to the root cause of whats going on
So functional medicine looks at the root cause of disease and illness and starts from there
Conventional medicine is something we resort to when we are already sick
Whereas functional medicine encourages you to work on your health so that you don’t develop chronic diseases…
You become the architect of your own health
Laura’s interest in health and wellness began about 5 years ago when she quit drinking
A member of her family was diagnosed with depression and immediately put on anti-depressants which didn’t sit well with Laura
About that time she had stumbled across a book called The Ultra Mind Solution by Dr Mark Hyman
In this book he explains that when he heals someone’s gut and sorts out the imflammation the cognitive function improves and depression and anxiety go away
As an ex nurse married to a doctor this came as a revelation to Laura – they never learned anything like this in medical school
Laura decided to approach functional medicine in the same way that she had approached sobriety – she would read everything she could get her hands on
After all Annie Grace’s book “The Naked Mind” had been such an eye opener for her and made her realise that Big Alcohol are inundating us with false messaging
Her research into Functional Medicine made her realise that conventional medicine was simply driven by Big Pharma and that she had been naïve not to question it during her medical training and career.
Laura’s decision to quit drinking for a month came after a party when she woke up with a hangover and thought…enough
She white knuckled her way through the month and used the time that she saved (by not drinking) to read everything she could.
Her belief systems around drinking had already been overturned by The Naked Mind and she realized that she couldn’t go back to drinking
Laura threw the book at her sobriety and like so many others who have succeeded she treated it like a job.
She told her husband she wouldn't be entertaining or going anywhere for three months as she wanted to concentrate on her reading.
We all learn differently so it can be helpful to reflect on our personal learning style as we approach the difficult task of giving up alcohol and learning to navigate society without it.
There are 4 distinct learning styles identified by Honey & Mumford in 1986.
Activist
Theorist
Pragmatist
Reflector
So we all learn how to navigate our alcohol free journey in our own way and shouldn’t be comparing our progress with others… just keep trying and it will come together.
Back to Laura.  What I found interesting was the fact that once she’d done all her research and reading she was absolutely ready to make a firm decision and her mantra was:-
"Never Question the Decision"
I think that’s such a helpful strategy which will stand her in good stead if she has a craving or is under pressure from others to drinking…
She approached her sobriety with the same gusto and enthusiasm that she used to approach her drinking- focusing on what she was gaining rather than losing by leading an alcohol free lifestyle.
However Laura did go into full blown sugar addiction when she quit drinking and wishes that she’d had a functional health coach teach her how to transition which would have resulted in her feeling a lot better sooner.
These days Laura is qualified as Functional Health Coach.
She talked about the 4 pillars of health
Diet/Exercise/Stress Reduction and Sleep and emphasized that a Health Coach could ease the transition into the alcohol free lifestyle and help to avoid a cross addiction.
As she said we all know broadly what we should be doing to stay healthy but the value of a health coach is that she will ensure that you implement and stick to the right eating plan and exercise regime.
We agreed that coaching is super valuable to keep people on track - especially for women.  Laura feels that many women tend to focus on what they haven’t done rather than focusing on their achievements
She said that anyone who has joined Tribe Sober should be proud of themselves,  just admitting that they may be a problem is a huge first step.
Laura offers a free 20 minute call to Tribe Sober members as well as discounted sessions.
You can reach out to her on what’s app +230 58675482 or via email on lauragujadhur@hotmail.co.uk 
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).