Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

How I Swam my Way out of the Bottle with Ben Tuff

Ben Tuff.  In 2012 Ben decided to quit drinking and to take up swimming.  He became a long distance swimmer and is featured in a documentary called How I Swam my Way out of the Bottle
In this episode Ben shares how he:-
Started drinking around age 16, initially as a social activity.
Escalated to more secretive and excessive drinking over the years.
Transitioned to a teaching career with increased responsibilities.
Coped with stress through a work-hard, play-hard lifestyle involving heavy drinking.
Denied the severity of his alcohol consumption.
Employed denial and avoidance to ignore the growing problem.
Developed strategic methods to hide alcohol purchases and consumption.
Used tactics like obtaining cash back to avoid a record of liquor store purchases.
Developed a secretive routine to hide alcohol consumption.
Would disguise vodka in vitamin water bottles to conceal drinking.
Rock Bottom Moment: Ben describes a pivotal moment when his alcohol addiction caught up with him, leading to a panic attack and a hospital visit. Blood alcohol level prevented immediate admission to the emergency room.
The realization that his secret was out marked the turning point towards seeking help and recovery.
Detox and Rehab: Ben's decision to go to rehab, supported by his wife, was a crucial step in his journey to sobriety. He spent five days in detox and five weeks in rehab, learning how to navigate a world that felt foreign without alcohol.
Early Sobriety: Post-rehab, Ben maintained a strong support system, including a psychiatrist from rehab who remained his psychiatrist. He actively engaged in his recovery, attending AA meetings, and committing to a schedule that included daily meetings and swimming sessions.
Sobriety as a Gift: Ben views his journey to sobriety as a gift, recognizing the real, authentic joy and connection he experiences with his family. The contrast between the facade of happiness during his drinking days and the genuine emotions in sobriety reinforced the value of his recovery.
Swimming as Therapy: Ben's venture into swimming, initially inspired by a sponsor, became a therapeutic outlet. His dedication to learning and mastering swimming, including open water swims, provided a space for mental processing and connection with a higher power.
Documentary "Swim Tough": Ben's decision to participate in a documentary about his journey stems from a desire to make stories of recovery more accessible. The film, titled "Swim Tough: How I Swam My Way Out of the Bottle," aims to highlight the transformative power of recovery rather than just focusing on swimming.
Message to Those Struggling: Ben encourages those struggling with addiction to reach out for help without shame, emphasizing the importance of seeking support.
Benefits of sobriety He reflects on the positive changes in his life, such as increased energy, a genuine appreciation for simple pleasures like good coffee, and the ability to sleep soundly, as key benefits of sobriety.
You can follow Ben via his website which is https://swimtuff.com/ 
 
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

Why your Drinking Problem is an Opportunity with Lucy Dentith

My guest this week was Tribe Sober Team Member Lucy Dentith - Lucy came to a Tribe Sober Masterclass in London in 2018 and has been sober ever since!  She's also become an indispensible member of the Tribe Sober Team.
In this episode:
Importance of a Supportive Community:
Having a tribe or a community of like-minded individuals is crucial for sobriety.
Joining a supportive group, such as Tribe Sober, can provide encouragement and a sense of belonging.
Usefulness of Tracking Progress:
The tracker is a useful tool for recording and celebrating sobriety milestones.
It should be used as a positive tool for encouragement rather than a means of self-criticism.
Tangible Benefits of Tracking:
Filling in a tracker, especially a paper one, provides a tangible and visceral sense of accomplishment.
Celebrating small successes helps shift focus from negative thoughts to positive achievements.
Finding Your "Why":
Understanding why you want to change and focusing on the positive benefits helps in times of difficulty.
A clear sense of purpose and positive motivations make the journey of change easier.
Reframing Challenges as Opportunities:
Viewing challenges as opportunities for positive change reframes the mindset.
Sobriety is not a loss but an opportunity to gain a wonderful life with better health and relationships.
Gaining More Than Losing:
The worries about losing things due to sobriety often turn out to be unfounded.
Sobriety brings numerous gains, including improved physical and mental well-being.
Community Support and Celebrating Success:
The importance of community support, such as Zoom Cafés, in celebrating and cheering for each other's successes.
Helping others find healthy coping strategies and sharing success stories creates a positive and encouraging environment.
                  Tips for Early Sobriety, Especially During the Festive Season:
Plan Ahead: Plan activities and responses to challenging situations.
Be Curious: Approach the sobriety journey with curiosity and self-reflection.
Visualize Success: Envision positive outcomes and focus on enjoyable aspects of events.
Choose Happiness: Opt for happiness over being right in arguments.
Have an Escape Plan: Plan exit strategies if social situations become challenging.
Starting the Sobriety Journey:
Take the First Step: Acknowledge the need for change and start with small goals.
Be Curious: Embrace curiosity as a companion in sobriety.
Progress, Not Perfection: Understand that setbacks happen, and progress is more important than perfection.
Continuous Learning: Keep developing coping strategies and seek support through coaching and reading.
Healthy Coping Strategies: Learning to cope without defaulting to drinking is essential for long-term sobriety and personal growth.
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

Why we get Addicted with Dr Anna Lembke

My guest today is Dr Anna Lembke who is a professor of psychiatry at Stanford – she’s also the author of a best selling book called Dopamine Nation.
In this episode:-
Anna began by defining Dopamine for us: - it’s a neurotransmitter which is central to pleasure, reward, and motivation, and plays a crucial role in addiction.
One of the most exciting findings in neuroscience is that the same parts of the brain that process pleasure also process pain, and they work like opposite sides of a seesaw or a balance.
In Anna’s book Dopamine Nation you’ll find some great illustrations which demonstrate the pleasure-pain balance and which feature little pain gremlins hopping on and off the see saw!
There are 3 rules governing this balance
Rule no 1.  The brain will always seek homeostasis as the neutral position
Rule no 2.  Repeated exposure to alcohol can result in a chronic dopamine deficit - which is in fact the definition of addiction 
Rule no 3.  The brain remembers addictive behaviours which means that a single exposure can result in relapse –that’s why moderation never works once we’ve crossed the line into dependence
To quit drinking Anna recommends beginning with a dopamine fast, a 30-day period of abstaining which will allow the brain to restore homeostasis.
The first 10-14 days will be spent in withdrawal so will be difficult but that difficult stage is going to pass so
The key is to keep going – rather than stopping and starting which just means doings that really difficult bit again and again!
Genetic vulnerability plays a role in addiction, - An alcoholic parent means you’re 4 times as likely to develop a dependence 
But remember that "genetics may be the gun but your lifestyle is the trigger" – you can break the generational pattern
Our brains were wired for survival in a world of scarcity but they don’t fit quite so well in this modern world of abundance… and that’s why so many people become addicted
Anna recommends engaging in what she calls hard things, like exercise or cold water immersion, which can indirectly increase dopamine levels and provide a sense of reward.
For example regular gym sessions will trigger the feel-good neurotransmitters
 I asked Anna why support groups work so well and she explained that the genuine connections in recovery communities release both dopamine and oxytocin so
If you’re looking for a recovery community to keep your dopamine flowing as you tackle this journey then just go to ts.com and click on join our tribe
We also discussed the early sobriety blues – that low mood that can strike a few months into sobriety
I certainly went through a period of feeling very low and uninspired in early sobriety – plenty of time on my hands but no idea what to do with it - a period I referred to as the void
Anna says that tolerating the void is an important part of the human experience which can lead to bursts of creativity – that certainly happened in my case but certainly it took a while
We now advise Tribe Members to get a project if they get the early sobriety blues – something to keep the mind busy and engaged - rather than sitting around waiting for happiness to strike!
In fact we discussed the unrealistic societal expections to be happy all the time – these expectations can lead to people to believe that they are sick if they’re not happy
This reminded me of my conversation with neuroscientist Staci Danford who believes that unhappiness is our default and that happiness is a learned skill –  a link to that podcast is here
As Anna said we have to recognise that life is full of pain and to be alive means sometimes we have to suffer 
I explained that at Tribe Sober we try to focus on what we gain in recovery, rather than what we lose – a reframe that Anna agreed is essential for success
One of her tips for managing cravings was to intentionally engage in activities that press on the pain side of the balance.  -  that made me think of one of our members who used to take a cold shower every time she got a craving – I used to think that was a bit strange but in fact she was doing exactly the right thing!
Those of us who have drunk heavily for decades may have damaged parts of our brains but in recovery we are rewiring the brain so new neural pathways are developing around those areas
We agreed that a relapse is not the end of the world as so much learning will have taken place during our recovery – the key of course is to get right back on track as quickly as possible
To learn more about Dr. Anna Lembke, you can read her book "Dopamine Nation" and explore her other publications, including "The Drug Dealer M. D."
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 
 

Sobriety Masterclass - your Toolkit!

We run our live Group Masterclass just four times a year and are often asked to provide a recording.... so we've done it!
The Masterclass recording is available now.  The 3 hour Masterclass recording is split up into digestible sections and includes written exercises.
Our Masterclass Intensive online course is a deep dive into this fascinating topic - 7 detailed modules to work through at your own pace. Intro session with Janet , Midcourse review with Sue and a coaching session with our Coach Lynette at the end. 
More info about our courses here.
In this episode:-
During this solo podcast I'm giving you a flavour of our Masterclass with a tour of our Toolkit tried and trusted toolkit - here are the 15 tools!
CONNECT with other people on the same path because connection is the opposite of addiction – if youre not yet in tribe sober then please go to our tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” for more info
EXERCISE get moving – you may feel flat when you quit drinking so trigger your endorphins with exercise – at least an hour a day
GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE – no more numbing out your feelings, personal growth and emotional maturity will come from that discomfort
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET –remember this journey is not about willpower – its about changing your thinking about drinking – tackle your limiting beliefs around alcohol and your desire to drink will diminish
VISUALISE – if you are tempting to drink just play the movie forward – what will happen if you have that drink you are longing for – you will enjoy it but what happens next?  Play the movie forward, you know the ending isn’t pretty!
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER so learn everything you can – listen to podcasts, read the quitlit, take our Masterclass – the more you learn about the toxic effects of alcohol the less you will feel like drinking it!
BE ACCOUNTABILE – Tribe Sober members are in accountability groups according to their length of sobriety and we have a weekly check in at the Zoom Café.  Write a Goodbye to Alcohol letter or start a blog.
FIND A PROJECT – the early sobriety blues may hit after a few months – to combat your low mood you need a project to keep your happy brain chemicals triggered. Start exploring projects so you can dive into it if you are hit by a low mood.
KEEP A JOURNAL – write your why list in the front – your why list will keep you motivated on track.  Use your why list to identify your triggers, process your emotions, record the benefits you are experience and to track your progress. 
BE PREPARED – try lots of Alcohol Free drinks until you find your favourite. Fill your fridge with alcohol free drinks. Play the movie forward when you socialise – what will you drink and what reason will you give for not drinking!
TRACK YOUR PROGRESS – every time we mark off a day as alcohol free we’ll get a dopamine hit – Tribe Sobers Annual Tracker is brilliant for keeping perspective and watching your progress.  If you’d like one of our trackers just email Sue membership@tribesober.com
STAY BUSY – when you quit drinking you’ll have time on your hands so plan how you will use that time.  Try out new activities and interests, start looking for that project – don’t just sit around wishing you could drink and waiting for FOMO to strike!
 BE READY FOR TRIGGERS! – when you get a craving to drink take a pause and breathe… the Power is in the Pause – be curious about the trigger and then get our your journal - analyse WHY you got a craving – write about it in your journal and decide how you will deal with it next time. 
DO THE WORK – Prioritise your sobriety – your recovery will be the foundation on which you can build the rest of your life.  Make it your focus for 3 – 6 months – do the work and your reward will be a healthier and happier future.
FIND YOUR PURPOSE – once we stop drinking we reconnect with who we are and what we really want to do with our lives.  We’re not put on earth to be happy 24/7 – we’re put on earth to find meaning and purpose.
More Info
Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 
 

Your Recovery Timeline with Nicci Cloete

Nicci Cloete is a coach, a facilitator, a mindfulness and yoga teacher. 
She’s also been in recovery for ten years  
In this episode:-
Nicci experienced trauma in her early teens when her family had a home invasion – she was raped at the age of 13
She had medical and legal support but this was in the 80’s and there was no attention paid to the mental health impact.
A few days off and then Nicci was expected to return to school and carry on.
She turned to alcohol – stealing booze out of her parents wine cabinet – helped her to numb her pain and cope with the difficult emotions and the flashbacks – of course she had PTSD although it wasn’t diagnosed.
In the morning Nicci would grab a bottle of wine and drink it before going to school, arriving drunk at school.
She was developing the skill of drinking undercover and nobody called her out on it.
In spite of the drinking she kept up with her schoolwork, became head of house and got the grades she needed to go to university
Once she got to university there was no longer any need to be secretive as everybody drank although she did notice that not everybody drank like she did, not everybody was having blackouts
After graduating Nicci went to London and worked in recruitment – very much a work hard play hard culture. Working from 7am to 7pm and then going to the pub to get hammered with her colleagues.
Still suffering from blackouts and sometimes not remembering how she got home
When she moved into a flat with a guy and his fiancé she did a lot of drinking on her own when she was in her room.
The next morning she would emerge from her solitary binge perfectly groomed, looking like she had it all together.
We agreed that it takes a huge amount of energy to keep the show on the road – to hold down a responsible job with a crashing hangover.
Nicci moved to California where her wine habit continued
Yoga had always been an important part of Nicci’s life and she was alternating between doing yoga and drinking her wine.
When she returned to South Africa she was thrilled to discover that she was pregnant and immediately stopped drinking….for the first time in 20 years…
And it wasn’t difficult at all!
However once her babies had finished breastfeeding she started drinking again and got into the mommyjuice scene
Once her children were sleeping she would dive into the wine
Every morning she would wake up and vow not to drink that night but of course her resolution would always crumble
She was in the groundhog day of daily drinking
Like many of us Nicci would be able to drink normally at social events but once she got home she would carry on drinking on her own.
Nicci’s turning point came one New Years Eve when she announced to her husband that she would be doing a Dry January… she got drunk on New Years Eve
The next morning her husband announced that he would be taking their children away if she didn’t quit.
That was her wake up call
She went to a GP who was very straight with her –telling her that the alcohol would destroy her if she didn’t take control
Nicci came out with a great analogy about moderation – trying to moderate when you’re an alcoholic is like getting into a boxing ring where you are going to get knocked o ut every time. You can duck and dive and try to avoid getting hit but at some stage you’ll get the sucker punch.  The only way to avoid this is not to step into the ring in the first place!
Nicci got some help and did the work – she realised that she would have to lift the veil and see that her marriage was unfulfilling, that motherhood was hard and that she would have to face up and process the demons from her childhood trauma.
We talked about how our emotional maturity stalls when we start to drink heavily
Sitting with our feelings is the hard thing – the mature adult hard stuff which we must do
One of the things that really helped Nicci was being aware of the Recovey Timeline – as she said there are many variations of this but as a rule of thumb:-
0-15 days in withdrawal
15-45 pink cloud with dopamine levels spiking
45 to 90 days + the wall which is when a low mood might strike
Beyond 90 days you start regularising your neurotransmitters and things begin to feel manageable
We both agreed on the crazy system in some rehabs where they keep you in for a few weeks and then discharge you just as you hit the wall…
Nicki shared that people often tell her that she is so strong for quitting alcohol….. but as she said the life of a functioning alcoholic is also hard – keeping the show on the road with a stonking hangover!
Coping with an ever increasing dependence and all the health issues that come along with alcohol
That’s hard!
So it’s a matter of choosing your hard…yes it’s hard to be sober for those first 90 days but if you stick at it your life will start changing in such a positive way as you become healthier and happier
Nicci is passionate about coaching and loves the fact that we all have the answers within us
As a coach her role is to help her client tap into their deepest knowing by asking the right questions
She’s studied coaching with the University of CapeTown and Thoughtsmith and qualified just before COVID hit
She has been trained to work online and is very comfortable working online with people from all over the world
Nicci also works in corporates and teaches mindfulness
Her advice to someone who is struggling is to reach out – find someone who will call you out on your bullshit
She works with people in recovery – helping people to explore what they really want from their life now they are sober
Nicci’s website is com and she’s on the socials as Metta 356 coachMore infoSubscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
 
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with           alcohol then sign up today
            Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE   
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x
 

Alcohol...as an Escape - with Brendon Watt

 
My guest today is Brendon Watt who overcame his alcoholism to become a worldwide speaker, best-selling author and facilitator 
In this episode:-
Brendon grew up in Australia, within an unstable family and a lot of abuse.
His father had a formula for what a man should be, emphasizing the importance of being tough and having a trade.
Brendon tried to conform to these expectations by working in construction but by his late 20’s he was totally depressed.
By trying to gain his fathers love and respect he lost himself and knew the life he was leading was not the right life for him
By chance he discovered a technique called Access Consciousness and decided to give it a try
Brendon booked a session and spent an hour and a half sobbing as he released his buried emotions
He was so inspired by the Access Consciousness process that he trained to be a facilitator and began to make some positive changes in his life
However he was still struggling with alcohol, which he saw as his “back door” – his escape
This made me think of Glennon Doyle who talks about using alcohol as the “easy button” to avoid emotional discomfort
Like so many of us Brendon spent years trying (and failing) to cut down on his drinking – trapped in an endless cycle of stopping and starting
 Brendon eventually hit rock bottom and decided to go to AA
 Although he was terrified of losing his back door escape he persevered
He attended lots of AA meetings, and worked with a sponsor.
He realised that he was going to have to go through some painful stuff, including stuff from his childhood that was very difficult to face…
He realised that going through this pain would result in personal growth
He did the work and gradually his life began to change
We agreed that the journey to sobriety is a process that leads to freedom and a more authentic life.
We also agreed that getting sober was just 10% of the journey but that it was the essential part – without sobriety we cannot tackle the rest of the work and learn to thrive
When we quit drinking we need to take responsibility for our happiness – we can no longer rely on alcohol for those chemical highs
Happiness is a learned skill and if you want to learn how to keep your happy brain chemicals firing then listen to last weeks podcast with neuroscientist Staci Danford
Sobriety also enables us to consider other parts of our life.. are we eating healthily, does our exercise plan need stepping up… are we in the right job, the right relationship?
If you need some help to look at your life and decide what needs changing then check out Glennon Doyles book and journal – called Untamed – some great triggers for those big scary questions in there!
When I first realised that I would have to quit drinking I saw sobriety as a punishment but Brendan and I both agreed that in reality sobriety is a gift
The journey to sobriety allows individuals to deconstruct their lives and build them anew, something regular drinkers may not experience.
At Tribe Sober we recommend a book by Laura McCowen – the title is "We are the Luckiest" which says it all really
Another quit lit book title that says it all is "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober" by Catherine Gray
Our conversation touched on the importance of honesty, integrity, and Brendon gave us a great example of catching himself in a lie – realising that when he was drinking the lies would come automatically
We discussed the misconception that external sources, such as money or substances, can create happiness.
Brendon used to think that when he had a certain amount in his bank account he would be happy – he got there but it didn’t make him happy!
Brendan described his work with Access Consciousness, a program that empowers individuals to find the answers within themselves and discover their strengths.
He highlighted the importance of people acknowledging their unique gifts and the potential for change.
You can find out more about brendon via his website brendonwatt.com More infoSubscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
 
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with           alcohol then sign up today
               Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE   
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x

Sobriety Hacks...from Neuroscientist Staci Danford

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
This week my guest is Staci Danford - this is the second time she has been on the podcast - you can have a listen to our previous conversation here.
Staci is a neuroscientist who loves working with the sober community.  In this episode she shares some really practical and useful information about our brain.
In this Episode
Staci’s husband walked out on her just before her 50th birthday – she was devastated at the time but now the years have passed she is able to look back and see that event as a catalyst for change… a real Wake Up Call
Realising that she must take responsibility for her own happiness she went to grad school to study neuroscience
Staci has no issues with alcohol but her father was an alcoholic – the whole family had tried to convince him to stop for years but only when he decided to stop himself did it work..
We talked about rehab and Staci explained that the success rate is a shockingly low 13.8%
She explained that our brain tricks us into thinking that alcohol is making us happy but in fact it is a depressant – if you’ve been drinking for years then the alcohol will have altered the balance of your brain which is why you become increasingly dependent.
When we understand how our brains work we can work with it – and that’s when the magic will happen – a great analogy is to think of how we use our computers – we work with programs that are installed in our computers – not against them!
Understanding our brains means that we can understand ourselves better and see what we are gaining by ditching the drink – we need to create a “pattern interruptor”
We mustn’t try to alter multiple habits at the same time – far better to focus on just the one
Here at Tribe Sober we say “Just chase one rabbit at a time – if you chase several the chances are that they will all escape!”
Staci advises that we focus on our successes “today I resisted a drink” and don’t look too far into the future (or avoid the F word as we say at Tribe Sober!)
If you listened to Tribe Sober podcast episode 55 which was called “The Happy Brain” with Loretta Breuning, you may remember that she recommended setting an overall goal and dividing it up into smaller goals – this will keep our happy chemicals flowing as just aiming for a mini goal will trigger dopamine and of course we’ll feel good when we reach it.
Staci is in agreement with Loretta and used the marathon analogy – if we sign up for a marathon we don’t immediately go out and try to run 26 miles – we design a training program and divide it into daily sessions – running a bit further every day..
You can find a great example of this on Episode 15 of the Tribe Sober podcast with one of our Sober Springers Kai – he did SS, achieved 66 AF days, then aimed for 100days, then 6 months, then a year – and now 3 years later he still hasn’t had a drink – but still doesn’t say its forever!
Staci explained how our primitive lizard brain will go on autopilot unless we intervene – she calls her Lizard Brain Earl and calls him out if he tries to hijack her behaviour!
She confirmed that our 66 day Sober Spring Challenge is long enough to create a new neural pathway to change our drinking patterns
She also said that the “secret sauce” of Sober Spring was the community support
We discussed the fact that our “drinking neural pathway will always be with us (if we’ve been drinking for years) – and that its easy to reactivate if we start trying to “moderate” after a period of sobriety. Staci loves our Goodbye to Alcohol letters and suggests reading them regularly to remind ourselves how bad the drinking got!
She came up with a list of quick tips to boost our happy chemicals
We start our annual 66 day challenge in September - called Sober Spring here in South Africa but can be Sober Autumn as well
Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community - and this month new members will get a complimentary Sober Spring Challenge
Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membershipMore infoSubscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you
want to change your relationship with alcohol then           sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE   
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x

Drink less...for your Breasts with Kathryn Elliott

 
My guest this week is Kathryn Elliott who has been interviewed for a previous podcast focussing on Binge Drinking 
Kathryn and I were both heavy drinkers…. and we’ve both had breast cancer
These days we are both sober… and passionate about empowering other women with the knowledge they need about the link between alcohol and breast cancer.
Knowledge which will make them think twice next time they think about having a drink.
In this episode:-
We talked about binge drinking which many of us get into when we are teenagers… and then keep the habit going until we are much older
For example Kathryn was a binge drinker from the age of 15 to 46!
Through her work as an alcohol mindset coach she has discovered that binge drinkers share similar traits:-
A) Started binge drinking at an early age
B) Celebrated by their peers and society for this behaviour
C) Their binge drinking not perceived as a problem… more a rite of passage
We agreed that many people are unaware of the definition of binge drinking – they tend to think it’s about the kids knocking back 15 tequila shots in a nightclub but in reality it’s more likely to be an older woman sitting at home alone drinking a bottle of wine.
So to be clear the definition of a binge is 4 standard drinks on one occasion for a woman and 5 for a man
If we are binge drinking on a regular basis our liver will not get adequate time to recover – which is why low risk guidelines suggest going alcohol free for several days a week
Kathryn explained the psychological profile of a binge drinker - a fast drinker, without an off switch, often blacking out and unable to get control of it over many years in spite of setting rules.
We also agreed that willpower was ineffective when trying to control binge drinking – so many of us have tried "the rules" – I’m only having 2 glasses of wine tonight etc but once the first glass is drunk all the bets are off!
The only thing that will work is a mindshift, working on our limiting beliefs so we can see alcohol for the poison that it is
Kathryn and I are both breast cancer thrivers and we were equally shocked with our diagnosis - neither of us had any idea that there was a link between alcohol and breast cancer
Kathryn began to do her own research into the link and was shocked by what she found… also shocked as she realised that this was never a topic of conversation with her friends nor had she ever seen a health campaign highlighting this
She was also shocked to discover that even low to moderate amounts of alcohol will increase our risk of breast cancer
Just 3 standard glasses of wine a week can increase the breast cancer risk by 15%
Each additional drink will add another 10% to that risk
During her research Kathryn came across an American campaign called "Drink Less for your Breasts" which was impressive and had so much information
The research was showing patterns… links between early binge drinking habits that could show up as breast cancer later i
Both Kathryn and I had estrogen driven breast cancer – and alcohol does increase the amount of estrogen in the system
We agreed that the lifestyle choice to be alcohol free that we have both taken feels empowering…
We can’t guarantee that we’ll never get a recurrence of our cancers but we can be confident that we are doing everything we can to avoid it
So Kathryn and I chatted about our binge drinking and our breast cancers and then moved onto our third topic which is educating corporates about the health risks of alcohol
Kathryn is running seminars for leaders and employees in workplaces to help them understand how alcohol impacts their emotional, mental and physical health.
I think this kind of initiative is well overdue and certainly would have welcomed it during my corporate career which involved a work hard/play hard culture!
A lot of Kathryn’s clients are executives who’ve had alcohol issues which had either been enabled through the workplace or had been completely ignored.
That prompted Kathryn to go into workplaces and approach the topic of alcohol, bringing it into a conversation about, wellness, mental health and productivity.
Such a brilliant way to start an ongoing dialogue about the subject
She gives practical tips about taking a break from alcohol and mindful drinking as well
Kathryn also shares her personal story which a lot of people can relate to
She currently promoting a "Sip Smart" campaign for the festive season so do contact her if you think your workplace would benefit from more awareness around this topic
Workplaces are also getting more diverse which means a lot of employees don’t drink so events need to be inclusive and offer a wide range of non alcoholic drinks as well
I asked Kathryn whether it had been a hard sell to convince companies to let their staff watch her talks and webinars
She explained that so long as she’s not telling people they drink too much and/or they must quit the management are quite comfortable with her just sharing information
A lot of the people she talks to have no idea how harmful alcohol is…. that’s something I find when we do our Masterclasses as well..
Something which is reflected in the statistic I mentioned in the intro…. only 34% of women know there is a link between drinking alcohol and breast cancer
We talked about the influence of leaders to role model sensible drinking to their employees
I shared the story of a leader from Tribe Sober – Nick was a big drinker himself but when he quit drinking the culture of the company changed – you can hear Nick’s story here
We ended the conversation with Kathryn’s top 3 benefits of being alcohol free
better connection with herself,
more energy now she’s free from worrying about alcohol
living a purposeful career as she helps others to change their relationship with alcohol.
To contact Kathryn about her corporate work of individual coaching – website is: alcoholmindsetcoach.com 
DM via IG @alcoholmindsetcoach
More Info
Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

From Rock Bottom to Recovery with Jared Klickstein

My guest today is an extraordinary young man – his parents were both heroin addicts and he became an addict himself.  His rock bottom included jailtime, homelessness and self mutilation. 
In the episode
Both of Jared’s parents were drug addicts but although life was chaotic they did manage to parent Jared until they got arrested when he was 12 years old
Then he went to live with his aunt who “rescued” him as he put it
Sadly his mother died of her heroin addiction when he was 14 years old which led to him using alcohol to cope with the pain of losing her
Jared describes himself as a “functioning alcoholic” from the age of 15 years old
At the age of 18 he started using Oxycontin as he was very against heroin due to his parents' experience
He didn’t know what Oxycontin was but it was a pill made by a pharmaceutical company so he assumed it was safe
He quickly became addicted and discovered that its very similar to heroin and in fact he switched to heroin 
Whereas alcohol had helped him feel more confident and enable him to socialise heroin completely numbed his feelings
As he says cocaine or acid can amplify emotions whereas with heroin he felt he was purchasing 12 hours of oblivion
Jared continued to use heroin but as he puts it “ the effects diminished as the consequences increased”
These consequences included selling his possessions to get heroin and by the age of 22 he was homeless and living on skid row
Heroin was still effective in completely numbing him from reality – the reality that he was homeless, penniless and without a family member to turn to…
However by the age of 25 reality was getting through so he began taking multiple drugs to block it out
The consequences got more serious and he ended up spending time in jail and suffering serious health problems
He would black out and wake up with injuries – once he lost a toe, another time he woke up with a serious facial injury
That was when he finally decided to consider the idea of getting clean
He managed to get sober via a state funded rehab where he lived for four months
There are only four state funded rehabs in California and many more for profit rehabs
On the subject of rehabs Jared gave us some shocking information about corruption in the rehab industry,
Quote from one of Jareds article “the rehab industry has become nothing more than a glorified insurance scam with a terrible success rate… ..despite making billions upon billions of dollars
Can you imagine paying $30,000 for something that doesn’t work 90% of the time?
Yet new rehabs are popping up almost daily with no sign of slowing”
When Jared got clean he longed for tangible things, he wanted a job and somewhere to live… he had no idea of the intangible benefits that would come his way – a sense of self worth, the ability to love himself and the joy that comes from helping others
Apart from helping others to get clean Jared is influencing policy decisions and feels there is currently a political will to change the current situation
People and companies are leaving California which is reducing tax income, forcing politicians to come up with solutions
That’s why he feels that politicians are open to dialogue with someone like him… someone who understands addiction and homelessness from the inside
Jared has plenty of ideas to bring about social change which he writes about in his book the Crooked Smile which will be published in 2024
His articles can be read via Substack, he is on TW @jaredklickstein and his email is…jklickst@gmail.com
More Info
Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

How to Break Free from the Booze Trap!

On this weeks solo episode I talk about our Breaking Free program which we run four times a year. 
Registration for the current program is open until 13th October - more info here.
We limit each Breaking Free group to 20 so you’ll always get personal attention
In this episode:-
I talk about the warning signs of alcohol dependence as well as the benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle
The Breaking Free program has four components…
Four pieces of a puzzle that come together to create a transformation…
The first piece of the puzzle is Community Support so we connect you with the other people on the Breaking Free program
 We put you in a chatgroup with where you’ll also find some TS team members to answer any questions you may have
The second piece is our 4 hour Masterclass – a group session which we hold via Zoom.  Another opportunity to get to know the other people on the program as everyone will share their story at the beginning of the session.  By the end of the Masterclass you’ll understand:-
The importance of a mindset change and the damage alcohol does to our health
We’ll be sharing our tried and tested sobriety toolkit and you’ll end the session feeling motivated and excited about the changes ahead.
While the Masterclass will give you an overview of the Tribe Sober approach to thriving in sobriety the online course will enable you to dive deeper at your own pace.  You’ll get all the theory and training you need to overturn your limiting beliefs around alcohol which is the key….
Just as we’ve been programmed into thinking that alcohol is an essential part of our daily lives our online program will de-program you and enable you to understand that you will be happier and healthier without it!
The third piece is our online course which includes videos, podcasts, articles and book recommendations so you’ll be able to throw the book at your sobriety – you’ll be able to treat it as a 3-month project that will change the trajectory of your future.
The fourth part of the puzzle is the personal support. 
You’ll have a 1.2.1 Zoom call with me so that I can hear your story and give you some personal guidance
My colleague Sue will catch up with you midway through the course to get a progress report and
Last but not least you can book a session with our Coach Lynette who will discuss how you are applying the theory of the Breaking Free program to your daily life
So that’s the four pieces of our Breaking Free puzzle, four pieces that will come together to create an alcohol free lifestyle that you love..
Apart from creating a program that will get results we’ve created a program that is flexible and will fit in with your busy lives…. 
All of the 1.2.1’s can be scheduled to suit your convenience, the online course can be worked through at your own pace so the only timeslot you need to fit in is the four hour Masterclass.
While we’re on the subject of time that’s one of the unexpected benefits of sobriety….. when we no longer spend time drinking and recovering from the drinking we find ourselves with extra time on our hands….
As well as the energy to do something constructive with that time!
Registration for the current Breaking Free program is open until 13th October - more info here.
More Info
Tribe Sober membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).