Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

Sober Short - Changing your Thinking - about Drinking

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
Welcome to our fourth "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast.
I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info.
Our workshops have been a gamechanger for so many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today
In this episode
During the first 3 Sober Shorts we looked at the first 3 Tools in our toolbox
Tool one was of course CONNECTION
 “Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path –
So if you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership
Tool number 2 was “Get Moving”
We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively – ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get!
Tool number 3 was all about:-
BUILDING YOUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTH
All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions
We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says or as Glennon Doyle says:-
 “First the Pain, then the Rising”
Todays tip from our Toolbox is all about MINDSET
It’s about changing your thinking – about drinking
The global alcohol industry spends trillions on marketing every year to convince us that we need their product..
The wine industry in particular has done a stunning job marketing to us ladies during the last 2 decades–
Many women now believe that drinking wine is essential for a full and happy life.
Add to that the fact that alcohol has become so normalized in our society that if you don’t drink you are considered a bit strange — alcohol really has become the only drug we have to justify not taking!
Somehow we have to de-program ourselves — a nice analogy is to think of our subconscious mind as a computer — we need to reboot and load some new software.
Our subconscious is full of false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example:-- we need alcohol to socialize- we deserve a drink at the end of the day- we need a drink to cope with our stress
The first step is to identify your limiting beliefs..
Somehow we have to overturn those beliefs – one by one
we can do that in two stages — intellectually and then by our behavior which will build new neural pathways in our brain.
Here is an example:-
If you are convinced that you will never be able to socialize without alcohol and you are going to lose all your friends….
Overturn that belief intellectually — write something like “I can enjoy time with my family and friends without drinking alcohol” in your journal.
Sadly it’s not quite that easy — now you have to “do the work”..
You have to actually do it - socialize without alcohol — again and again..
Spoiler alert — you will probably hate it but you must keep going so that it will stick as you build a new neural pathway
See each event as a challenge. Write it up in your journal — how did you feel, how long did you stay, did you manage to enjoy any part of the evening?
If you have been drinking/socializing for years then it will take months to convince your subconscious that you can have fun without it — but it’s definitely possible. You can believe it because I did it myself
It just takes courage and perseverance.
It means pushing out of our comfort zone
We give alcohol far too much credit for the good times and now you have to “uncouple” that alcohol/fun association.
After all when we were children we didn’t need alcohol to have fun, we didn’t grab a beer from the fridge when we got home from school to help us recover from double maths!
Keep socializing sober and gradually it will get easier and easier — until one evening you will realize that you had a great time — and you weren’t drinking — yay!
That’s not the end of the journey but it is a breakthrough. There will be more social events which feel awkward and endless but gradually you will better and better at this.
You will begin to relish the fact that you can jump in your car at the end of the evening and drive home safely — wake up with a clear head and perfect recall.
So that’s our Sober Short for today – Changing your Thinking – About Drinking
All about mindset which is essential for this journey – willpower is helpful at the beginning but its not sustainable..
If YOU’ve got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me janet@tribesober.com 
And don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – its full of recovery stories and expert advice– its called Tribe Sober and it comes out every Saturday morning.
More info
Join Tribe Sober and learn how to quit drinking and go on to thrive in your alcohol free life  - you can join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then           sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE
          Book a Chat with Sue to find out if our membership would help you - email her on membership@tribesober.com
         
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning and a Sober Short on Wednesdays
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 
You can join our private Facebook group HERE
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)
1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Tribe Sober") into the search field.
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Sober Rock Stars with Brenton on Tour

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
If you are as old as I am then you may remember when rock music was all about “sex, drugs and rocknroll”
I still remember going to a rolling stones concert in London which was held the day after their guitarist Brian Jones had been found dead in his swimming pool. 
As he was only 27 years old he joined the tragic line up of other talented artists who died at the age of 27 – including Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse and Janis Joplin.
But times are changing – the music business is a multi billion dollar business and everything that rock stars do remains on the internet for posterity.
My guest this week has a job that you may well envy if you are into rock music – he tours the world for a living – running concerts.  He’s also got a podcast called “Brenton on Tour”
In this episode
Brent didn’t have a hectic “rock bottom” but as his responsibilities grew he realised that he needed to be super sharp at all times during his tours. He manages huge budgets and a complex schedule.
He found himself planning his drinking – if he had three days off work then he knew that he would be drinking and he wouldn’t be at his best during some of that time
He began to feel that he needed to make a choice between drinking – or his career and family.
We agreed that even if alcohol doesn’t destroy us (and it certainly doesn’t destroy everybody) it often prevents us from reaching our potential. 
Brent believes that a lot of people think they are fine as they don’t have an obvious “problem” but in fact they would be a lot sharper and more energetic without it.
We talked about the fact that sometimes we have a perception that we have a boozy crowd of friends but when we stop we sometimes discover that we were the ringleader ;-)
Brent had Covid and was so pleased that he was not drinking when lockdown came around.
We agreed that Yes we do sometimes lose friends when we stop drinking but those drinking buddy relationships are often replaces with new and deeper friendships.Brenton got sober with a combination of exercise, coffee, creating podcasts – and Clare Pooley!
I loved his story of connecting with Clare who was firmly on Team Brent – the journey she describes in her Sober Diaries mirrored Bretts experience – she stressed the importance of getting to 100 days and then of course he didn’t want to waste his sober days so he carried on
He even had a major wobble at several months in – then discovered that Clare had the same experience. Reading how she regretted giving in to the caving kept him on track.
That’s exactly the kind of thing that happens in our community – people reach out because they are tempted or because they feel miserable and someone who is further down the road will always say “when I was at that stage this is what I did” – connecting with people at different stages of the journey is invaluable.
We talked about Clare’s inspirational blog – the Obstacle course - and agreed that the worse thing is to fall on and off the wagon.
Brent has experienced many benefits during his 3 years of sobriety – mental clarity and more energy to name just two.
Saving time is a huge benefit – no longer are we planning the drinking, doing the drinking and recovering from the drinking.
The podcast interview we did took place in the morning on one of his days off – he said that normally he would be sleeping but instead he was up and ready to talk to me about sobriety! -  As he put it he was very happy to replace his search for alcohol with a search for knowledge 
That got me thinking that the combination of having extra time as well as more energy and creativity explains why many of our community have gone on to develop new interests and connections since they got sober.
We did agree that getting sober is like saying goodbye to your best friend and you heard him promise to write a “Goodbye to Alcohol” letter for our website.
With a job like his I obviously wasn’t going to let Brent off the hook without getting the inside scoop the drinking habits of todays rock stars
For a long time substance abuse was cool…but now not so much
Brent’s been in the music business for 20 years and these days it’s the “cleanest” it’s ever been.
Huge amounts of money are spent on travel, hotels and stadiums so the promoters expect their artists to be well behaved – and of course concert tickets are not cheap these days so the fans want value for their money.
A bad performance will live online for ever and can really damage a band’s reputation.
There are many sober rock stars these days and their image does not suffer when they ditch the booze. This is such a good trend and many young people may be inspired to follow the example.
So according to an article called “the sober rebranding of rock n roll” there are many sober rock stars – here are six: Jennifer Hudson, Elton John, Eminem, Keith Urban, Steven Tyler – and Neil Young.
If you have a listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 68 you can hear the recovery story of punk musician Jon Turner who is in a band called the Petrol Bastards
I ended our conversation by asking Brent what advice he would give to someone wanting to get sober – like many of us he is blown away by the warmth and connection in the recovery world and he simply said:“Find Your People” – do check out tribesober.com as we may be your people and we would love to walk alongside you on this life changing journey
If you’d like copy of our PDF called “30 signs you may have a problem with alcohol” – just email janet@tribesober.com
 
More info
For an affordable monthly subscription you can join Tribe Sober - read about the benefits of membership and sign up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then               sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE
          Book a Chat with Sue to find out if our membership would help you - email her on membership@tribesober.com
         
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning and a Sober Short on Wednesdays
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 
You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)
1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field.
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Sober Short - Building Emotional Strength

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
Welcome to our third "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast.
I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info.
Our workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today
In this episode
During the first two Sober Shorts we looked at Tools number one and two in our toolbox
Tool one was CONNECTION
“Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path – and also to connect to yourself
On episode 69 of the Tribe Sober podcast you can hear our Yoga Teacher Tamsin explaining how yoga can enable us to reconnect with our bodies in recovery – Tribe members have access to a daily yoga class with Tamsin which is a wonderful start to the day.
Tool number 2 was “Get Moving”
We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively – ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you get
So today we are going to look at Tool number 3
BUILD YOUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTH
Our emotional maturity stalls when we start drinking heavily – so I must have been 18 for a long time!
If we’ve been numbing our feelings for years we haven’t learned how to deal with the difficult times
It’s a bit of a cliché to say that difficult times are “character building” but they are…they build resilience
Our wonderful coach Lynette always tells us that we must “get comfortable with being uncomfortable” and I think that is so true
It’s really hard to do that at first but (to quote Lynette again) – “what’s wrong with hard?”
We have to learn to sit with our feelings – not try to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button”
When I was drinking and I felt miserable I would pour myself a glass of bubbly to “perk myself” up – it worked but I usually overdid it and felt even worse the next day!
Now that I am sober, life is not all sunshine and roses BUT if I feel miserable I will just take a breath and remind myself that yes today is not great but by tomorrow (or certainly the day after) I am going to feel fine again.
We need to accept that we were not put on earth to be happy 24/7 whatever our Instagram feed says – the human experience is to deal with the ups and the downs and learn from them if possible.
To quote the Victor Frankl – “we are not put on earth to seek pleasure (in spite of what Freud teaches) or to seek power (in spite of Adlers teaching) – we are put on earth to find meaning and purpose in our lives”
And it’s our pain that will lead us to our purpose – I was in a lot of pain during my struggles with alcohol, but I eventually reached out for help which not only led me out of my own addiction but enabled me to find my purpose and help others to change their relationship with alcohol.
So instead of numbing out we need to learn to reconnect with ourselves and this is where yoga can play a role – listen to episode 69 with our TS yoga teacher
We need to learn to be Warriors
Glennon Doyle has a brilliant Super Soul podcast – called “First the Pain, then the Rising”
She talks about how alcohol becomes the “Easy Button” which we use to bypass pain – but in fact pain is our greatest teacher and we should embrace it and welcome its power
Emotional pain will build resilience which will enable us to cope with future challenges
The pain may be big but our courage is bigger
The journey of the sober warrior is to stop hiding from the pain– instead you need to march straight into the pain
You need your pain
“Life is full of pain and anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell you something”
Heartbreak is the greatest teacher of all -don’t use the easy button top to avoid it – use it as your professor to guide you towards others – and there you will find your purpose – there you find your tribe -nothing bonds people so greatly as having been through the same struggle – that is the magic of the recovery movement
Our collective pain is becoming our collective power as we learn to thrive in our alcohol free lives and call out Big Alcohol and its marketing…
Pain will connect us to our purpose – and our tribe
Thinking of Tribe Sober for a moment – many of our members have been brought very low with their struggles with alcohol – when they finally reached out to us and stopped drinking they were certainly in pain – but by connecting with others in the same situation they were able to learn how to use that pain to grow – and to discover their purpose
FIRST OUR PAIN – THEN OUR RISING
Quote from Glennon Doyle  “the willingness to dwell in our discomfort and truly listen is how we turn our pain into power”
So that’s the Sober Short for today – Our Third Tool from our Sober Toolbox – Build your emotional strength
If YOU’ve got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me janet@tribesober.com 
And don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – its full of recovery stories and expert advice– its called Tribe Sober and it comes out every Saturday morning.
More info
Join Tribe Sober and learn how to quit drinking and go on to thrive in your alcohol free life  - you can join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE
          Book a Chat with Sue to find out if our membership would help you - email her on membership@tribesober.com
         
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning and a Sober Short on Wednesdays
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 
You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)
1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Tribe Sober") into the search field.
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
 

Sobriety and the French! with Stacy Leshner

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
Quite a few people in our tribe found their way to us after hearing me chat to the fabulous William Porter on his Friday Night Live spot which you can see HERE
I met this weeks podcast guest when I was hanging out on the Alcohol Explained Facebook group – Stacy is a moderator on that group
The French have a reputation for being “moderate drinkers” but that is actually a bit of a myth – they come in at number 11 on a global league table for heavy drinking with UK and SA coming in below!
Stacy lives in France and works with William Porter – she’s been helping him to promote the French version of Alcohol Explained and also runs an IG group called "Alcool Explique" so if you are French or living in France please follow her
Stacy has also helped William to create his online course and now she is helping me to put our workshops on line..
In this episode
Stacy is only 34 years old so her Drinking Career was not that long – but it was intense
She grew up in the US where the legal drinking age is 21 so when she spent a semester of her university course in France she found herself with unlimited access to booze
Stacy began drinking with enthusiasm – no doubt heady with the combination of leaving home in the US and being free to drink as much as she wanted to
Drinking was certainly normalised in her college crowd but she accepts she was one of the “heavier” drinkers
As her contempories graduated and transitioned into grown up life many of them drank less – but not Staci! that’s when she realised that she had become dependent
That’s what happens for many of us – we don’t even realise the extent of our dependency until we try to cut down – alcohol is insidious and we need to watch out for red flags
If you are not sure what a red flag is then you need a copy of our PDF called “30 signs you may have a problem with alcohol” – just email janet@tribesober.com to get a copy
Stacy eventually got a job as a part time teacher in France which left her with plenty of free time – for drinking..
Her drinking ramped up and she found herself setting (and breaking) rules around her drinking
She also googled “am I an alcoholic” although of course she knew the answer!
Her drinking sent her anxiety sky high until one day she had a melt down – her doctor put her on anti depressants but as she was still drinking they made no difference
Like many of us Stacy had no “off” switch and she would drink until she blacked out – one day turning up for her waitressing job blackout drunk – unsurprisingly she got fired on the spot!
She went to her doctor who told her she must take a 3 week break from alcohol and if she could do that then she was ok – so she white knuckled her 3 weeks (with the help of Xanax which her doctor had given her)
And went back to drinking – she explained that having a drinking problem is France is “complicated”
You are either an “alcoholic” or you are fine – a well dressed professional woman just did not meet the stereotype of an “Alcoholic”
Looking back on her drinking she realised it got worse and worse over a period of 9 years
That’s the thing with alcohol dependence – once you’ve crossed a line with your drinking it will never get “better” – it’s a bit like being in an elevator when the only way it goes is down
That’s why moderation is not an option for many of us – we just have to ditch the stuff and learn to enjoy our alcohol free lives
Stacy was waiting for a sign – waiting for a rock bottom and it came during lockdown
The bars were closed and she was working from home – so she stocked up on wine boxes and got stuck in – her weekends became a black hole of drinking and blacking out
One day she was having coffee with a friend who recommended a couple of books – AE and Naked Mind
She read Alcohol Explained by William Porter and it literally changed everything – something clicked for Stacy and she knew she was done with drinking
Everything feel into place for her – she began to join the dots and realise that her sleeping problem, her anxiety and her chronic lack of energy was all linked to her heavy drinking
Education is key to this journey – once we realise the extent of the damage our drinking is doing we feel less and less inclined to drink..
When people join Tribe Sober we urge them to visit out Amazon bookstore on the website and get stuck into the quitlit (including AE of course!) – reading quitlit and listening to podcasts is a real education – many people have NO idea just how much harm alcohol does
They have no idea that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases
Even if alcohol doesn’t destroy our health it will certainly prevent us from reaching our potential
When Stacy got sober she finally got in touch with her emotions and realised that her 9 year relationship with her partner was no longer right for her
We find that in our community – once people get sober it’s as if the mist has cleared and they can see what they really want – I’m sure my colleague here at Tribe Sober won’t mind me saying that sobriety gave her the courage to get divorced in her early sixties and now she is SO much happier!
When Stacy looks back she realises that she came very close to losing everything – by the time she decided to stop drinking she was no longer working so she would have been able to drink all day long – every day – a narrow escape indeed!
Like many of us Stacy was blown away by the warmth and connection within the recovery community and the existence of what she calls “Sober Land”
As she says “When we unplug from the matrix of drinking we discover joy and colour and get a chance to discover who we really are”
Stacy is on a mission to help French people to get sober – currently sobriety has negative associations and AA is seen as the only route
Stacy has been collaborating with William Porter to launch Alcohol Explained in France and Stacy now has an IG group called Alcool Explique – if you are French or living in France please follow her and participate!
There are signs that things are changing in France - The sobriety movement is in its infancy but there have been a couple of books written by high powered women who have overcome their drinking problem and gone public – and Staci herself was featured in a documentary about the topic
So I must end this podcast by giving a huge shout out to William Porter – not only does he hold down a full time job as a lawyer but he’s managed to write two books (Alcohol Explained – 1 and 2), start up a hugely successful FB group called Alcohol Explained – and with Stacy help he’s now launched his online course which you can access by going to his website HERE
Please have a listen to my podcast interview with William Porter which is one of our most popular ones – Tribe Sober episode 50 
And don’t forget to check out Stacys IG group alcohol explique if you are French speaking!
More info
Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE
          Book a Chat with Sue to find out if our membership would help you - email her on membership@tribesober.com
         
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning and a Sober Short on Wednesdays
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 
You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)
1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field.
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Sober Short - Get Moving!

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
Welcome to our second "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast.
I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info.
Our workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today
In this episode
Tool number two in our toolbox is exercise - we want you to Get Moving!
We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively
We seem to have a lot of runners in our tribe – I always remember one lady telling me that she would wake up with a crashing hangover and then she’d force herself out for a run – often with tears running down her face as she felt so awful.
These days she is sober and she runs twice as fast and enjoys every moment!
There is a growing body of evidence about the benefits from regular exercise which we need to be doing all throughout our lives – not just when we are young.
Exercise also has a role to play for people in recovery
On episode  69 of the Tribe Sober podcast you can hear our Yoga Teacher Tamsin explaining how yoga can enable us to reconnect with our bodies in recovery – Tribe members have access to a daily yoga class with Tamsin which is a wonderful start to the day.
But apart from yoga we need a more general exercise regime so lets look at some of the benefits of exercise
Exercise will release endorphins which relieve stress/anxiety and give you a natural high – just the job in those early days of sobriety when you are feeling a bit flat without the buzz of alcohol
Exercise improves our body image and our mental health – in fact its an essential, unavoidable part of being in good physical and mental health
It also improves self-confidence and self-esteem and is a genuine reward for your body and mind — unlike alcohol, which is more like a punishment."
If we’ve been drinking for years then we will have deep neural pathways marking the habit we have developed – the trick is to replace this unhealthy habit with a healthy habit – and a daily exercise routine does the job perfectly
Stick at it for 66 days and you will have build a whole new neural pathway!
My daily habit for decades had been to open a bottle of wine at 6pm – when I quit drinking I simply put on my headphones at 6pm and went walking by the sea for an hour – every.single.day – this not only got me through my “danger hour” but it helped me to build a new healthy habit
Now that I am nearly 7 years sober I still walk at 6pm every evening – not to avoid drinking but just because I love it and have built a new neural pathway –it just doesn’t feel right if I don’t do it!
We can feel a bit low in early sobriety and exercise will not only reduce your depression but it can give you a sense of purpose
Have a listen to Tribe Sober podcast number 55 where I talk to Dr Loretta Breuning who explains that we need projects when we are in recovery – working towards a project will trigger our happy brain chemicals and an exercise program fits the bill perfectly
Draw up targets and go a little further each time you run or walk for example – if you lift weights then gradually increase the weights
There is more and more evidence emerging that we must keep exercising as we get older – even if you don’t feel up to running these days then just get walking.  Get a Fitbit and make sure you hit that 10k target every single day.
We really have to use it or lose it!
If you are middle aged or older, leading a sedentary lifestyle and drinking alcohol then just do these two things and  you will transform your life
Ditch the Drink!
Exercise Daily!
If that sounds impossible then check out tribesober.com and we’ll get you started on this life changing journey!
At Tribe Sober our goal is to enable you not only to quit drinking but then to go on and actually THRIVE in your alcohol free life – and we cannot be healthy and thrive if we are not exercising regularly
So that’s your Sober Short for today – Our second Tool from our Sober Toolbox – Get Moving
If YOU’ve got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me janet@tribesober.com – or if you’d like to share your exercise routine with us we’d love to hear from you
And don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – its full of recovery stories and expert advice– its called Tribe Sober and it comes out every Saturday morning.
More info
Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE
          Book a Chat with Sue to find out if our membership would help you - email her on membership@tribesober.com
         
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning and a Sober Short on Wednesdays
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 
You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)
1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field.
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Take a Break from the Booze - Part 4

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
We created TS because we believe it’s really hard to change your drinking habits alone –
so at TS we are all about community so on this weeks podcast we are featuring 2 ladies who signed up for our Sober Spring Challenge.
At the time of recording we are in late January but if you are up for taking a break then just sign up for our January Challenge which is open until 31st Jan – for a small donation to a good cause we offer community and online support for an alcohol free month.
We’ve currently got 115 people going through the Challenge so sign up today and join the fun –they are chatting away all day long on their WhatsApp group – sharings their journey and passing on tips.
Just go to tribesober.com and hit January challenge.
If you’re listening to this after January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” and we’ll put you on our 30 day starter challenge.
So lets have a listen to two Sober Springers reporting back on how it felt to take a break from the booze.
In this episode
First up we have Lindy who managed an awesome 66 out of 66 for her sober spring challenge 
It struck me the other day that just as alcohol dependence is “progressive” so is sobriety if you give it a chance.
Jo is a pretty good example – when she signed up for her first SS 3 years ago she was not even thinking about giving up drinking for good but by her third SS she had decided that sobriety was for her.
The annual SS challenges have been getting easier and easier for Jo and she came to the conclusion that alcohol free living has a lot to offer.
So lets pull together a few TIPS from our ladies…
Lindy’s tip of having mini-goals is a great one.  The F (forever) word is just too scary in the early days – so take it in small steps – 30 days, 66 days, 100 days, 6 months and then a year – and once you’ve hit that one year milestone its very unlikely you’ll want to go back – have a listen to episode 15 of the Tribe Sober podcast to listen to Kai who did our very first SS Challenge, implemented the mini-goal approach and is still sober to this day.
When Lindy found herself needing a drink every night she was aware that it was a red flag – its an important tip to be aware of the signs that you may be becoming dependent so talking of red flags why not get a copy of our
PDF– its called “30 signs you may have a problem with alcohol” – just email janet@tribesober.com and I’ll send you on
Apart from keeping an eye open for red flags CHECK YOUR DEPENDENCE – just as we have an annual medical check up we should check our alcohol dependence regularly -
I’m always encouraging people to sign up for our challenges to test their dependency as 20% of social drinkers will become dependent over the years – and Jo has been cleverly monitoring her relationship with alcohol by signing up for the SSC every year – and very happily noticing that it was becoming easier and easier until she finally decided to go alcohol free permanently
BENEFITS
Lindy no longer feels bloated and those late night cheese binges after a few glasses of wine are no more.
Lindy loves feeling alert and energised every single day but the real gamechanger for her was that her level of anxiety has plummeted
Jo has progressed from someone who didn’t even consider giving up drinking to someone who is embracing her alcohol free lifestyle with enthusiasm. This was a three year journey which proves that the trick is to keep at it!
If you enjoyed this episode then you can hear another 8 conversations about the power of taking a break from the booze by listening to episodes 75, 76 and 79.
Don’t forget to follow us and share the podcast   -   and we would be SO grateful if you would leave us a review
Take a screenshot of your review and email it to janet@tribesober.com – we’ll read it out on the show and send you something nice to say thank you!
It’s still January as we record this so if you are ready to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and test your dependence then please check out our January Challenge on tribesober.com – for a small donation to a good cause you will get online and community support for an alcohol free month
And if its not January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” – as a new member we’ll chat to you about your needs and design you a tailor made sobriety journey that will change your life!
 SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE
If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members.
More info
Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE
          Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you 
        
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 
You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)
1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field.
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Sober Short - Work Your Tribe

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
Welcome to our very first "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast.
I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info.
Our workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today
In this episode
Tool number one in our toolbox is connection…connection is the opposite of addiction
A fact that has been proved by the ratpark experiment way back in the 1960’s
If you haven’t seen Johann Haris fabulous TED talk where he describes this experiment then please check it out here
Once your drinking has crossed a line you need to connect with others on the same path…
If you are wondering whether you have crossed this imaginary line then try to drink within the “low risk limits” of one and a half bottles of wine a week – or 6 beers – if you can’t then you probably need to make some changes
Giving up alcohol is a lonely path – it has been completely normalised in our society and the peer pressure is strong…
It’s the only drug we need to justify NOT taking so you need to find your people
People like you who understand that “no you cant just drink less, or drink more slowly or have one glass”
People who are or were in exactly the same place so they “get you”
I spent ten long years trying to tackle my drinking problem alone – my attitude was that I’ve got myself into this mess so I’ll get myself out of it – and nobody need be any the wiser.
The problem was I had no-one to connect with when I was struggling, nobody to inspire me when I was fed up – nobody to hold me accountable when I fell off the wagon – again and again.
Like many women I was ashamed of my little problem – and I was also totally reluctant to let the wine go completely
I thought I would be able to “control” it and drink normally – become a normal drinker!
Of course now I understand that was an impossible dream and if I could give one piece of advice to anyone considering their relationship with alcohol it would be:-
Don’t waste your time with Moderation Mary as we call her– just ditch the stuff and you will find peace.
Admittedly you will have to work out HOW to live without your best friend but that’s where we come in.
I’m not the only one who wasted time trying to control an addictive drug – a recent study by the Tempest – 11 years
Always remember that people who CAN moderate just do it – alcohol is not even on their radio and they certainly won’t be listening to this podcast!
So if you’re listening to this and you are worried about your drinking then don’t waste 11 years – reach out to someone today..
When I finally reached out and got some help I realized that I was not alone, I was not broken, there was nothing wrong with me – I was just one of the 20% of social drinkers who had become dependent over the years..
Alcohol is so sneaky, it really creeps up on us – like many women I drank socially during my 20’s and 30s and then began to use it to manage my anxiety and to relax during my 40s and 50s – when drinking alone became one of my favourite occupations!
If you want to hear my drinking story and what finally drove me to quit and how I did it then you can hear that on Tribe Sober podcast episode 1.
So our first tool in the Tribe Sober toolkit is to find your people
Its SO much easier to find your people these days – 10 years ago we only had AA but now there are many online sober communities, an endless supply of alcohol free drinks and we even have a Sober Magazine – Hola Sober!
So find your people and then “work your tribe” – by which we mean stay connected and share your ups and downs
We would love to be your people so do give us a try, for an affordable monthly subscription we offer plenty of support including daily Tribe Chats to enable you to check in and get some extra help if you need it.. – click here for more info
So that’s your Sober Short for today – Top Tool from our Sober Toolbox – work your tribe
Find your people – and stay connected – because connection is the opposite of addiction
If YOU’ve got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me janet@tribesober.com
Don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – full of recovery stories, expert advice and plenty of advice – its called Tribe Sober and comes out every Saturday morning
More info
Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then               sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE
          Book a Chat with Sue to find out if our membership would help you - email her on membership@tribesober.com
         
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning and a Sober Short on Wednesdays
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 
You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)
1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field.
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Take a Break from Booze - Part 3

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
We created TS because we believe it’s really hard to change your drinking habits alone –
so at TS we are all about community so on this weeks podcast we are featuring 2 ladies who signed up for our Sober Spring Challenge.
At the time of recording we are in late January but if you are up for taking a break then just sign up for our January Challenge which is open until 31st Jan – for a small donation to a good cause we offer community and online support for an alcohol free month.
We’ve currently got 115 people going through the Challenge so sign up today and join the fun –they are chatting away all day long on their WhatsApp group – sharings their journey and passing on tips.
Just go to tribesober.com and hit January challenge.
If you’re listening to this after January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” and we’ll put you on our 30 day starter challenge.
In this episode
Every year we do a Sober Spring Challenge - 66 alcohol free days - two of our Sober Springer are sharing their experience
Our first Sober Springer is Roz, a Brit living in Spain.  Roz drank for decades but once she joined the tribe - she stopped and never went back - "Tribe Sober is my family" - she says
Our second Springer is Annick from Belguim - she also found that "connection is the opposite of addiction" and the WhatsApp group kept her on track.  Her first 30 days were tough but by Day 80 she was flying!
After helping hundreds of people to get sober I am convinced that this doesn’t have to be a lifelong struggle.  It involves giving it your all for the first 6 months when you are basically concentrating on “not drinking” and learning as much as you can.  The rest of that first year is about learning to navigate our alcohol drenched society, developing  new interests and learning to thrive in your alcohol free life.
Like many women Annick was quite health conscious– she ate healthy foods and did yoga – but she drank.  For so many of us alcohol is the missing part of the puzzle – so many of us are filled with fear and reluctant to let it go.  All we can tell you from the other side is that you will GAIN so much more than you will lose if you ditch the drink! 
Your drinking isn’t a PROBLEM – it’s actually giving you an OPPORTUNITY – to ditch the stuff and open up your life – that’s a valuable reframe by Tribe Member Lucy!
Talking of Lucy, Annick referred to our “Why” exercise which was designed by Lucy and has helped SO many of our members – if you’d like a copy just drop a line to janet@tribesober.com and I’ll send it to you
 
A few tips and benefits from my conversations with Roz and Annick
TIPS
Find a community – you heard Roz say that TS has become her family and Annick said the WhatsApp group helped her to feel less alone – it’s so important to realise that we are not alone in this struggle – we are not broken, we are not diseased – we just got addicted to an addictive substance like 20% of social drinkers do – every single year. “Connection is the opposite of addiction” so find your people – maybe we are your people – go to ts.com and hit “join our tribe” and find out more about the support we offer.
Annick got to the point where moderation no longer crossed her mind. This is a huge step – when we accept that we can never drink alcohol we find peace.  Admittedly we have some work to do to change our habits but it’s entirely possible and so worthwhile.  Always remember that people who moderate just moderate – alcohol is not even on their radar - If you are listening to this you probably can’t moderate or you wouldn’t find it interesting.
Final tip is to give it your all. Ros and Annick really “threw” the book at their sobriety – Ros checked the community messages first thing in the morning and last thing at night, attended all the zoom meetings, listened to the podcasts and read the quitlit.  Annick even listened to the podcasts twice!  Give it your all and get this sobriety thing nailed within six months – then work on thriving in your alcohol free life and you will never look back!
Lets end with a couple of the many benefits that emerged from those conversations:-
Ros sleeps well, wakes up happy and has lost weight without even trying!  She’s just had her 71st birthday and says that sobriety is the best birthday present ever!
Annick has boundless energy and “joie de vivre” and relates to the title of Catherine Grays book – “the unexpected joy of being sober” – like me she had absolutely no idea that sobriety could be full of joy!
If you enjoyed this episode then you can hear another 6 conversations about the power of taking a break from the booze by listening to episodes 75 and 76.
This week we have a PDF to give away – its called “30 signs you may have a problem with alcohol” – just email janet@tribesober.com if you’d like a copy
Don’t forget to follow us and share the podcast   -   and we would be SO grateful if you would leave us a review
Take a screenshot of your review and email it to janet@tribesober.com – we’ll read it out on the show and send you something nice to say thank you!
It’s still January as we record this so if you are ready to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and test your dependence then please check out our January Challenge on tribesober.com – for a small donation to a good cause you will get online and community support for an alcohol free month
And if its not January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” – as a new member we’ll chat to you about your needs and design you a tailor made sobriety journey that will change your life!
 SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE
If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members.
More info
Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then  sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE
          Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you 
        
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 
You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)
1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field.
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
 

How Big Alcohol Hijacked the Feminist Movement - with Ann Dowsett Johnston

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
When I was contemplating sobriety I read a couple of books that really resonated with me – one was Caroline Knapp: Drinking a Love Story and the other one was Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol 
That book was published back in 2013 and it was a book that predicted the huge rise in risky drinking for women – a prediction that sadly has come true.
In her book Ann skilfully combines in-depth research with her own moving story of alcohol abuse.
She highlights the positive fact that women have closed the gender gap in their professional and educational lives BUT they have also achieved equality with men by drinking at unhealthy levels.
Unfortunately our bodies are not equal to a man’s body when it comes to metabolising alcohol – we get dependent quicker and it damages our health to a higher degree.
Ann explains how the alcohol industry had been ruthlessly targeting women for the last two decades – and how successful they have been
In this episode
Anns drinking became problematic as she hit menopause – her son was going off to college and she had empty nest syndrome.
She became depressed but didn’t want anti depressants (as her mom had fallen prey to the combination of cocktails and Valium) so she started to rely on wine to “take the edge off”
In her 50’s Ann became so worried about her drinking that she took herself off to rehab. However it didn’t work. 
Leaving rehab she had no idea how to navigate normal life and we agreed that this is a “missing piece” in some rehabs.
She found herself sneaking drinks for 3 months and then began to feel suicidal – her ex husband suggested a meeting which was the beginning of her recovery
For Ann her recovery meant she had to unpick her life and rebuild it so that it didn’t involve alcohol – this took years and year one was particularly hard.
This got me reflecting on our Tribe Sober community. We sometimes get people saying "I haven’t had a drink for 2 weeks – why do I still feel rubbish?!"
When we embark on this life changing journey I think we have to be patient and play the long game –  listen to Tribe Sober podcast number 61 and you will hear Dr Dawn explain that for every year that we drank we should allow a month of recovery.
What I’ve observed after helping hundreds of people to get sober is that it takes a year for sobriety to stick – 6 months of focusing on changing your behaviour so that you no longer drink, followed by 6 months of reconfiguring your life so that you can create a life you don’t want to escape from.
As we always say you have to “throw the book at it” and give it your all – you heard Ann say that this journey is not for the faint hearted but the rewards are huge and the rest of your life will be healthier and happier – you know you’re worth it (as the hair colour ad used to say!)
We talked about my decade of moderation and Anne reminded me that in Caroline Knapps book she says that the average period of “negotiation” we do is about 12 years. There has been a more recent study by the Tempest that says that it usually takes someone about 11 years between recognising that they have a problem with alcohol and reaching out for help
This is where the power of community comes in – if I had been in a sober community when I was trying (and failing) to moderate my drinking, they would have told me to stop wasting my time trying to control and addictive substance. 
Of course now I know that once we have crossed a line with our drinking there is no going back – we just have to ditch the stuff and learn how to thrive in our alcohol free lives.
So if you are in that period of “negotiation”, setting rules, trying to moderate don’t waste 11 years of your life – go to tribesober.com and join our community today.
We agreed that the liquor industry has hijacked the feminist movement convincing us we need mommyjuice to parent and wine for self care. Anne highlighted these facts in her book 8 years ago and she feels that things have got even worse since then.
Women have to get smart and as Ann put it “democratically we are equal but metabolically and hormonally we are not equal to men”
Ann is part of the Hola Sober team with the wonderful Susan Christina (you can listen to Susan Christina on Tribe Sober podcast episode 67). Ann is excited about the way the modern recovery movement is evolving and how there are so many different ways to get sober these days.
We talked about the fact that sobriety will give us so much more than it takes away – if you are having a wobble in your sobriety then do the exercise that Ann’s son made her do – a list of gains and losses. She talks movingly about this on her fabulous TED talk – I’ll put the link in the show notes.
Ann loves writing and runs an 8 week online recovery writing course which will help you to write your memoir and then get published – check it out on her website which is https://www.anndowsettjohnston.com/ I’ll put the link in the shownotes
I loved her story about carrying Caroline Knapps Drinking a Love Story book in her brief case when she was contemplating getting sober – that’s what inspired her to write Drink so make sure you get a copy of that on Amazon and carry it in your bag – whether to inpire you or to keep you on track!
It’s still January as we record this so if you are ready to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and test your dependence then please check out our January Challenge on tribesober.com – for a small donation to a good cause you will get online and community support for an alcohol free month
And if its not January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” – as a new member we’ll chat to you about your needs and design you a tailor made sobriety journey that will change your life!
 SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE
If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members.
More info
Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE
          Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you 
        
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 
You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE
Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)
1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field.
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Busting Sobriety Myths with Eusebius McKaiser

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
This week I’m interviewing one of South Africa’s national treasures - author, journalist, and political analyst Eusebius McKaiser. 
I first interviewed Eusebius in 2020 and that conversation remains our most downloaded episode – you can find it on Tribe Sober podcast episode 29 so please check it out later
A couple of years later I ditched the drink, started Tribe Sober and noticed that he had signed up for our Dry January Challenge.
Eusebius is now 3 years sober and is yet another example of how effective these short challenges can be – a taste of sobriety can sometimes bring about a permanent lifestyle change.
If you are ready to try a Dry January then go to tribesober.com and check out the January challenge – for a small donation to a good cause you will get community and online support for an alcohol free month.
 
In this Episode
The sober curious movement is growing – we have an endless variety of AF drinks, many online sobriety groups and even our own magazine Hola Sober.
Eusebius believes that people should be free to make “bad choices” in life but did agree with me that education is important. Alcohol is a legal drunk which damages our health and drinkers need to be aware of that.
When tobacco advertising was banned the information about the link with lung cancer was all over the media – if alcohol advertising was banned we would hear a lot more in the media about the link between alcohol and 7 different types of cancer.
Women need to know that drinking more than 3 glasses of wine a week will raise their breast cancer risk by 15%
We tackled a couple of sobriety myths – first of all the myth that we can’t have fun without alcohol – the truth is that once you have navigated those early difficult months of sobriety then it’s easy to have fun without booze – and lovely not to have to pay the price of a hangover the next day! Our subconscious minds have been convinced by a combination of marketing and peer pressure that we need alcohol to enjoy ourselves – to deprogram this thinking we need to spend a few months socialising without alcohol – its not easy but treat it as a challenge and you will get there – your subconscious will eventually get it!
The second myth we busted was the myth that we need the buzz of booze to be creative – Eusebius wrote some of his early essays when on his way down from heavy drinking sessions but feels he has done some of his best writing since he’s been sober.
We talked about the social pressure to drink which is relentless and hard to cope with when we are in the early stages of sobriety – alcohol really is the only drug we have to justify NOT taking
That’s why CHALLENGES are so great – especially our January Challenge – we can just say “I’m raising money for charity by doing a Dry January” – nobody can really argue with that one!
We get more confident dealing with peer pressure to drink as time goes by and eventually many of us are proud of our sobriety and eager to talk about it!
Eusebius always maintains that it’s not our responsibility to make other people feel comfortable about their drinking and is quite happy to be rude to people who interrogate him about his sobriety!
We talked about dependency and I explained that I didn’t even realise what trouble I was in until I tried to cut down – and couldn’t. 
That’s another reason challenges are great – its an opportunity to test your dependency – if you can get through a month without booze easily then you are fine – if not then you may need to make some changes!
Do a challenge at least twice a year to keep your eye on your level of dependence.
A challenge is also useful if you want to cut down your drinking – low risk levels are just one and a half bottles of wine a week (or 6 beers) – so do a challenge, have a month off the booze and then it will be easier to reset your drinking pattern.
Eusebius stressed that the Earthchild project helps children to find a moment of peace in their difficult lives. Yoga may be perceived as a middle class pastime but in fact the postures and the breathing bring a sense of calm to children who grow up surrounded by gang violence and poverty.
We concluded with a few tips and benefits of sobriety:-
Eusebius main benefit which he wasn’t even expecting has been the time he has regained now he no longer drinks – he loves getting up early at the weekend and getting on with his day
His tip was to stock up on AF drinks – Dry January Challengers get a discount from DN.co.za
My benefit was sleep – as drinkers we get only 2 cycles of REM sleep (we need 7) – over the years we build up a permanent sense of fatigue if we drink – even a month off the booze will boost our energy levels
My tip was to find your people – its very hard to change your drinking alone so join tribe sober!
So I do hope we have inspired you to sign up for the January Challenge 
 SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE
If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members.
More info
Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE
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Thank you for listening! 
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
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