Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

Sober Short - Nurture Yourself!

 
SOBER SHORT 12 – Nurture Yourself
I’m kicking off our Sober Short series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to tribesober.com, hit Our Services and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone.
These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today.  Just go to tribesober.com/services and click on workshops
During the first 10 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first 10  Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to tool number 11 let’s do a quick recap…
In this Episode
Tool number 1 was “Get Connected”
Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path.
If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership.
Tool number 2 was “Get Moving”
We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get!
Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength”
All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions.
We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.”
Tool number 4 was all about Mindset
It was about changing your thinking – about drinking.
We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day!
We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one.
“Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and…
You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety.
Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation
We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation.
One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret?
Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again?
Tool number 6 – Information is Power
It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us.
Even if you do decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases.
That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information.
If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email janet@ts.com – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going.
Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable”
When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing.
WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us.
So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe.
If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email janet@tribesober.com and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers.
Tool Number 8 - which is “Journaling”
At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey.
Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial.
Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down.
We can note our triggers as well as strategies for coping with them
Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will remind us just how hard it was – and make us realise it’s getting better and easier every day.
To learn more about the magic of journaling listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 98 to hear my interview with writer in recovery Melinda Ferguson – released on 26th March 2022
Tool No 9 – “Get a Project”
It’s very common for people to feel a bit flat once they have achieved their first few months of sobriety.
Many people in Tribe Sober (including me) experienced that “flatness’/depression/void” or whatever you want to call it – when they asked me what they should do about it I just told them to sit it out as it would eventually pass
However that advice changed after my podcast interview with Dr Loretta Breuning (author of the Happy Brain) – so do have a listen, its episode 55 and was released on 14 August 2021.
Loretta explained that my brain was quite happy during the first few months as it had registered that it was working on a project (ie sobriety) and I was making progress – however after a few months my subconscious was thinking – ok so now we are sober, now what?
Well here’s the thing – as human beings we need projects – think of the cavemen, they would wake up hungry and have to go and find some food, eating the food would give them a dopamine hit but then they would get hungry again and have to go hunting..
So as you settle into your first few months of sobriety GET A PROJECT to keep you on track and to keep those happy brain chemicals triggered.
Tool No 10 – “Be Prepared”
As with most things in life preparation is crucial…
Play the movie forward – what ARE you going to drink – if it’s a restaurant then check out their drinks menu online and decide what you will order
If you are going to a dinner party the text your host in advance and take some AF bubbly with you
Decide what you are going to say when/if people start to interrogate you – you can keep it simple “I’m on meds”, “I’m driving” or my favourite “I’m on a health kick – no booze, no sugar, no carbs for 66 days!” 
If drinking at home was your problem then give away your booze – or move it to somewhere you can’t see it (the garage is a good place) and make sure your fridge is stocked with delicious AF choices – if you are in SA just go to drinknil.co.za and they will deliver to your door
Tool No 11 –Track Your Progress
When a new member joins our tribe we send an Annual Tracker. It helps to give perspective, to keep an eye on the big picture – sure there may be slip ups on the way but what matters is a feeling of progress – are those “Sober Stretches” getting longer?
If you would like one of our Annual Trackers then just email janet@tribesober.com and I’ll send you one right away!
It’s so important to celebrate Milestones on this journey -
The Forever word is just too daunting when starting out on this journey so we suggest 30, 60, 100 days as Milestones… followed by 6 months and then moving on to Annual
The great thing about Tribe Sober is that many people stick around after getting sober – they want to help and inspire others – we even have a chatroom for people with more than 6 months of sobriety
Tool No 12 –Nurture Yourself
When we embark on this life changing journey we are going against the flow – we are doing something that 95% of the drinking population would not even consider doing, it wouldn’t cross their mind. We are going against the flow and that takes confidence and courage!
We need to nurture ourselves so that we can access the inner resources we need to embrace an alcohol free life
Many people (me included) discover that they are introverts at heart and not the party animal they thought they were when they drank!
They drank to make other people interesting so they could hang out and fit in without being bored!
We do go through a phase of feeling “Sober Awkward” in early sobriety as we find our feet and master the art of sober small talk – not to mention sober dancing!
But if you start feeling that you would rather be home with a good book than attending a social event then do it – and the first book you should read it Quiet by Susan Cain – the subtitle of that book is “The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking” which says it all really
Her premise is that about 50% of the global population are natural introverts but the pressure to perform in our corporate careers and our social lives means many of us turn to alcohol to cope
Sobriety is a journey of discover so spend the extra time you’ve saved exploring – Tribe Sober members have free resources to sample like coaching, hypnotherapy and root cause therapy as well as online yoga and art therapy.
If you are wondering hypnotherapy can help you embrace sobriety then listen to Tribe Sober episode 43, more about the role that root cause therapy can play in episode 60, yoga information in episode 69, art therapy 73 and you can hear me interviewing our awesome TS coach Lynette way back on episode 5!
So spoil yourself! Think of your sobriety as a pregnancy – 9 months of doing exactly what feels right  for you – read books, be alone, go to bed early, have naps, light candles, eat chocolate, turn down social invitations, light candles, have hot baths!
The pregnancy analogy works so well because for most of us 9 months is long enough for our sobriety to be strong – to survive in the outside world!
So that was Tool number 12 – Track Your Progress – I’ll be back with our main podcast on Saturday and another Sober Short next Wednesday
 
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
 
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, You Tube, Tiktok, Twitter, and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
Thank you for listening!
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Meditating into Sobriety with Rory Kinsella

 
Meditation and Your Sober Journey
Here at Tribe Sober we encourage people to quit drinking and then to go on and learn to thrive in their alcohol free lives.  We offer free coaching, hypnotherapy and an online yoga course and various therapies..  It’s important to experiment, to get back in touch with what you really like to do – it’s all about building a life that you don’t want to escape from.
 
My guest this week is a meditation teacher in Australia who offers a course called “6 steps for not quite alcoholics” – he is offering to help people to change their relationship with alcohol from a different angle – he is suggesting that they meditate daily for a few weeks and then see how they feel about their drinking.
 
Rory shares his own struggles with alcohol and explains that once he got into meditation he found that alcohol no longer fitted in with his healthy lifestyle…
I began by asking Rory to introduce himself
In this Episode
After Uni Rory joined a band and then became a music journalist and going to free gigs/festivals were all part of the job
All his relationships during his 20’s were built around drinking, partying and having a good time
He moved to Australia at the age of 31 and became a “lifestyle journalist” – he was expecting this job to be less boozy than that of a music journalist but he was wrong
He was sent to review a week long vodka festival in New Zealand and then was sent on a 3 day trip to Las Vegas to reviews bars and restaurants…
Rory started to notice that his hangovers were getting more severe and that it was taking him longer to recover
At his 35th birthday party he had what he calls an early midlife crisis – DJ’ing at a warehouse party he realised he was not enjoying himself – combination of drugs and alcohol was making him feel paranoid and he wasn’t even enjoying the music – he decided he just didn’t want to be living this kind of life at 45
He quit smoking and DJing the next day but carried on drinking – although he had an inkling that life might be better without it but he was nowhere near accepting that he must stop
However he did start exercising – and being an “all or nothing” kind of person (like most of us drinkers) he was soon running marathons
His running made him realise that he could access serotonin and endorphins which could change his consciousness without using chemicals.
As he puts it so well – he was able to access the “infinite pharmacy within”!
As Rory got fitter he started to explore different types of meditation and began to feel that there could be a light at the end of the tunnel
He discovered Vedic meditation which is what he now teaches
Meditation was reducing his triggers and his stress so he was drinking less but still going on binges
Once he got healthier he realised that alcohol no longer fitted his lifestyle – his body was clean and he didn’t like the effect of booze
Rory’s approach is - rather than say “Don’t Drink for 30 Days” he says “Meditate twice a day for 30 Days” and don’t think about alcohol so in other words focus on your meditation practice and you will gradually lose the desire to drink
His turning point came 4 years after starting his meditation practice – he was teaching by then and just didn’t feel authentic drinking and teaching meditation so he quit
I love his wise monkey analogy – when we wake up we have a credit of 3 wise monkeys – they get used up during the day and we need a crutch to keep us going – and that’s when the wine monkey comes out!
So he advises topping up your wise monkeys (or adaptation energy) with a meditation practice in the evening – that will put your back in charge and keep the wine monkey away!
Rory believes that we must focus on building various “systems” to sustain our sobriety – meditation is part of that system as is exercise, healthy eating and community support.
The “systems” approach really helps because when he have a slip up the reaction should be “lets look at the system and maybe change something?” rather than “OMG I’m such a failure”!
Another great analogy from Rory was the “tanker” analogy – if you change the direction of a huge ship then it’s going to take a while before it moves and heads off in the right direction – just as “if you’ve been drinking for decades and stop – it’s going to take a while to settle in to your sobriety and experience the benefits”
Here at Tribe Sober we hear a some people say “I’m 3 months sober and don’t feel any benefits yet!” – but that’s the joy of community – people who have been sober for longer will pile in and say “hold on – it does get better!” etc..
Our members go on a 7 step program which helps them to explore what “systems” would work well for them – coaching, yoga, hypnotherapy and various types of therapy are all on offer so that people can sample them and see what works for them.
Now that he is sober Rory has much more time and energy to do the things he wants to – he reflected back on how it was taking him a few days to recover from his drinking sessions – yes he was functional but only doing the bare minimum and experiencing a void in his creativity
As he says we often hear people saying they don’t have time to pursue their goals but its often more about not having the energy – we have to remember that alcohol saps our energy and motivation
Even if alcohol doesn’t destroy us it prevents us from reaching our potential!
Rory helped me to realise that meditation does not have to involve clearing our minds of all thoughts – if we go the Vedic Meditation route then we just have to focus on a mantra..
You can hear Rory talk about his “6 step” course which will help you to stop drinking via meditation – read more about it on his website we-meditate.co
His podcast is called Not Quite Alcoholics and my interview with him is on Episode 7
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Sober Short - Track Your Progress!

SOBER SHORT 11 – Track Your Progress
I’m kicking off our Sober Short series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to tribesober.com, hit Our Services and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone.
These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today.  Just go to tribesober.com/services and click on workshops
During the first 10 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first 10 Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to tool number 11 let’s do a quick recap…
In this Episode
Tool number 1 was “Get Connected”
Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path.
If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership. 
Tool number 2 was “Get Moving”
We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get!
Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength”
All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions.
We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.”
Tool number 4 was all about Mindset
It was about changing your thinking – about drinking.
We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day!
We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one.
“Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and…
You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety.
Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation
We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation.
One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret?
Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again?
Tool number 6 – Information is Power
It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us.
Even if you do decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases.
That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information.
If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email janet@ts.com – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going.
Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable”
When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing.
WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us.
So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe.
If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email janet@tribesober.com and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers.
Tool Number 8 - which is “Journaling”
At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey.
Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial.
Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down.
We can note our triggers as well as strategies for coping with them
Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will remind us just how hard it was – and make us realise it’s getting better and easier every day.
To learn more about the magic of journaling listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 98 to hear my interview with writer in recovery Melinda Ferguson – released on 26th March 2022
Tool No 9 – “Get a Project”
It’s very common for people to feel a bit flat once they have achieved their first few months of sobriety.
Many people in Tribe Sober (including me) experienced that “flatness’/depression/void” or whatever you want to call it – when they asked me what they should do about it I just told them to sit it out as it would eventually pass
However that advice changed after my podcast interview with Dr Loretta Breuning (author of the Happy Brain) – so do have a listen, its episode 55 and was released on 14 August 2021.
Loretta explained that my brain was quite happy during the first few months as it had registered that it was working on a project (ie sobriety) and I was making progress – however after a few months my subconscious was thinking – ok so now we are sober, now what?
Well here’s the thing – as human beings we need projects – think of the cavemen, they would wake up hungry and have to go and find some food, eating the food would give them a dopamine hit but then they would get hungry again and have to go hunting..
So as you settle into your first few months of sobriety GET A PROJECT to keep you on track and to keep those happy brain chemicals triggered.
Tool No 10 – “Be Prepared”
As with most things in life preparation is crucial…
Play the movie forward – what ARE you going to drink – if it’s a restaurant then check out their drinks menu online and decide what you will order
If you are going to a dinner party the text your host in advance and take some AF bubbly with you
Decide what you are going to say when/if people start to interrogate you – you can keep it simple “I’m on meds”, “I’m driving” or my favourite “I’m on a health kick – no booze, no sugar, no carbs for 66 days!” 
If drinking at home was your problem then give away your booze – or move it to somewhere you can’t see it (the garage is a good place) and make sure your fridge is stocked with delicious AF choices – if you are in SA just go to drinknil.co.za and they will deliver to your door
Tool No 11 –Track Your ProgressWhen a new member joins our tribe we send them a “starter kit” which includes an Annual Tracker.  This annual tracker is simply a calendar divided into 360 squares.  We suggest that people colour in a square as alcohol free in the morning to set their intention for the day.  If they slip up then they should mark it on the calendar.  This system has several advantages:-
It helps to give perspective, to keep an eye on the big picture – sure there may be slip ups on the way but what matters is a feeling of progress – are those “Sober Stretches” getting longer?
A bit like dieting there is a tendency to feel hopeless after a slip up, a feeling of “oh I will never be able to do this so I might as well give up altogether” –the tracker shows you that one slip up does not ruin everything and you are more likely to hop back on the bus
Accountability – on screenshot Saturday we ask members to share their trackers and on our chat group and everyone piles in to congratulate – or to encourage…
If you would like one of our Annual Trackers then just email janet@tribesober.com and Ill send you one right away!
It’s so important to celebrate Milestones on this journey – Milestones not only give you something to aim for but when you reach them you will get a dopamine hit as you feel a sense of purpose and share your triumph with others – that dopamine hit will give you the energy and enthusiasm to continue with your journey
The Forever word is just too daunting when starting out on this journey so we suggest 30, 60, 100 days as Milestones… followed by 6 months and then moving on to Annual
The great thing about Tribe Sober is that many people stick around after getting sober – they want to help and inspire others – we even have a chatroom for people with more than 6 months of sobriety – we call it “big school” and people are keen to graduate ;-)
It’s also important to track your Sober Firsts – there will be many during your first year of sobriety. The first Sober Wedding, Sober Holiday, Sober Birthday etc – see them as Challenges and keep your expectations low – don’t even expect to enjoy them – your work is to get through them.  You can be sure that next time it will be easier and eventually you will enjoy it just as much (if not more) than usual.
Make sure you plan a reward for yourself when you get through a Sober First!
So that was Tool number 11 – Track Your Progress – I’ll be back with our main podcast on Saturday and another Sober Short next Wednesday
Thanks for listening – please follow and share the podcast!
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, You Tube, Tiktok, Twitter, and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
Thank you for listening!
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

Our Top Ten Podcasts!

 
When I started podcasting almost 2 years ago I wasn’t sure that I was going to be able to stick at it.  Finding guests, interviewing guests and then editing the conversation was pretty time consuming.  Then I read that 60% of podcasters give up after less than 10 episodes which seemed like a challenge! 
Through this podcast Tribe Sober has connected with people from all over the world and our membership is becoming more and more international!
So next week we celebrate our 100th episode so a huge thank you to our listeners who have helped us to get this far!  If you are new to the podcast then welcome – and if you’ve been with us from the start then thank you!  In either case we’d love you to leave a review.
So this week I’ve delved into our podcast download stats and highlighted the most popular podcasts – our top ten!
In this Episode
At 10th place with 1150 downloads is Episode number 72 (released in December 2021) – it’s called “Why We Need to Ditch the Drink in Mid Life” – my guest was Lori Massicot who has a podcast herself called “to 50 and beyond” – it’s a podcast aimed at women in mid-life where she highlights the beauty of aging and the freedom that comes along with alcohol free life. She on a mission to raise awareness towards the life changing impact of sobriety as we age and had me guesting on her podcast as an example of someone who ditched the drink later in life. You can find that on episode 182 of her podcast.
At 9th place with 1192 downloads is Episode 67 (released in October 2021) we have an episode called “Rebranding Sobriety” with the fabulous Susan Christina.  She’s on a mission to make alcohol free living as attractive and glamorous as we thought drinking was!  Susan shares her own story of recovery and talks about the “drinking train” that many women board and pointed out that it was only travelling one way – the way of increasing dependence, rehab and for some people it’s unfortunately travelling to disease and death. 
At number 8 with 1206 downloads we have episode 81 (released January 2022) called “Take a Break” from the booze.  We believe in Challenges here at Tribe Sober and every year we run our Sober Spring Challenge - and then another one in January.  On this podcast we hear from 3 ladies who did Sober Spring 2021 - why did they sign up?  what was it like?  what tips do they have? 
If you are listening to this and decide you’d like to do a challenge then just go to tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members.
At number 7 with 1215 downloads was “Coping with Cravings” (released January 2021) - my interview with South African natural health expert Mary Ann Shearer.  Both of her parents were alcoholics yet she became passionate about health and has published a bestselling book called The Natural Way.  Mary Ann is a woman before her time and was advocating veganism thirty years ago!
She advised people who have stopped drinking to satisfy their cravings by eating fresh fruit not chocolates or sweets  Our bodies need glucose and eating fresh fruit satisfies the craving for alcohol – we offer this as standard advice in our community as many many people battle with those cravings for sweets when they stop drinking.
Mary Ann explained the damage that alcohol does to our endocrine system - and how it makes menopause much worse
At number 6 with 1279 downloads was Neuroscientist Staci Danfield – released in August 2021 that episode is called “Is you Lizard Brain the Boss?”  She explained that our brain tricks us into thinking that alcohol is making us happy but in fact it is a depressant – if you’ve been drinking for years then the alcohol will have altered the balance of your brain which is why you become increasingly dependent.
When we understand how our brains work we can work with it – and that’s when the magic will happen – a great analogy is to think of how we use our computers – we work with programs that are installed in our computers – not against them!
Understanding our brains means that we can understand ourselves better and see what we are gaining by ditching the drink – we need to create a “pattern interruptor”
At number 5 we have episode 66 with 1318 downloads (released in October 2021) -  “Anxiety and Alcohol” was the topic and my guest was Casey McGuire Davidson.  Casey went to doctors and therapists about her anxiety and insomnia – most of which was caused by alcohol but she was in denial about her drinking and just didn’t CONNECT THE DOTS
Like many of us Casey started making rules – in fact Casey and I had a whole conversation about the rules we used to make that you can find on her podcast (Hello Someday – episode 77 ) 
The reason we make these rules of course is that we are still trying to moderate as we can’t imagine our life without it – having to give up completely is our worst nightmare – whereas with hindsight both Casey and myself can say that giving up completely was the best thing we ever did!
She eventually hired a Sober Coach and checked in with her every single day – because she was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Episode 50 is at number 4 with 1510 downloads.  - another podcast about anxiety!  – title was “Why we get Hangxiety and my guest was William Porter.   
We talked about "hangxiety" and how it's caused by chemical changes in our brain - when it becomes over-sensitised
If you drink a bottle of wine every night then your brain will take the first glass as a signal that the rest of the bottle is coming!
That's why moderation is so difficult - and it's exhausting as we are thinking about it all the time
Dependency happens once we learn (consciously or subsconsciously) that another drink will quell the anxiety caused by the first
FAB is responsible for many people falling off the wagon as they think they can now have "just one" - which is not sustainable
He explained why it's a complete myth that alcohol helps you sleep - the truth is that it ruins our sleep!
At number 3 we have the fabulous Clare Pooley with 1587 downloads.  The episode is number 39 and was released in April 2021 - called “My Top Life Hack”   Clare is a wonderful example of how your dreams can come true when you ditch the booze.  Her sober blog not only helped her to stay on track but it attracted a publishing deal which led to the sober diaries – she then went on to write TAP and is about to publish a second novel.  Her childhood dream was to be an author and now she is!
CLAIRE's TOP TIP - she reconfigured her day - went to bed at 7pm (to avoid evening drinking) and got up at 5am feeling great!
As cooking the evening meal was a big temptation for her she cooked it in the morning and heated it up in the evening
Like many of us she had a major low in early sobriety - she calls this "the wall" and believes it's our brain chemistry adjusting
Her blog - the obstacle course went viral and is essential reading in early sobriety
Clare's key message in the blog is to keep going however hard it gets - stopping and starting is the hardest way
Clare also said it was essential to "find your tribe" and recommended tribesober.com
At number 2 we have Eusebius McKaiser with 1599 downloads. South African journalist talking about his relationship with alcohol.  Eusebius signed up for our Dry January Challenge a fewyears ago and to his surprise maintained his sobriety.  We first met when I was on his radio show reading out my Goodbye to Alcohol Letter.  We recommend writing a GTA letter on the basis that for some of us alcohol is like an abusive lover we  need to get it out of our lives.  A goodbye letter is a cathartic and powerful ritual that can help us draw a line under our drinking years.  Go to ts.com, hit inspiration and hit GTA letters to read the letters written by tribe members.
Eusebius shared benefits he is experiencing and explained how he has substituted different kinds of music for alcohol - to stimulate the right mood when he is writing.
Eusebius wrote a blog for our website called "Sober Diary Reflections" - you can read it here and we also recorded another Tribe Sober podcast together – called Busting Sobriety Myths – episode 77.
At number is my story "How I quit drinking and started a tribe!" with 1675 downloads
Just beating Eusebius by a mere 76 downloads is my story!  I can’t claim too much credit as this was the very first episode – released way back on my 5th Soberversary in May 2020 – episode 1!  In it I talk about my long struggle with alcohol – how I nearly drowned by passing out in my bath at the age of 25 and carried on drinking
How I got breast cancer - and carried on drinking
How a "walking, talking blackout" made me (finally) ditch the drink
I talk about my quest for sobriety, my failure as an AA member and how I finally got sober.  I share my motivation for founding Tribe Sober and read out my Goodbye to Alcohol Letter.
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 
 

Sober Short - Be Prepared!

 
SOBER SHORT 10 – Be Prepared!
I’m kicking off our Sober Short series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to tribesober.com, hit Our Services and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone.
These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today.  Just go to tribesober.com/services and click on workshops
During the first 9 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first 9 Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to tool number 10 let’s do a quick recap…
In this Episode
Tool number 1 was “Get Connected”
Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path.
If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership.
Tool number 2 was “Get Moving”
We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get!
Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength”
All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions.
We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.”
Tool number 4 was all about Mindset
It was about changing your thinking – about drinking.
We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day!
We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one.
“Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and…
You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety.
Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation
We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation.
One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret?
Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again?
Tool number 6 – Information is Power
It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us.
Even if you do decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases.
That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information.
If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email janet@ts.com – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going.
Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable”
When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing.
WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us.
So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe.
If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email janet@tribesober.com and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers.
Tool Number 8 - which is “Journaling”
At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey.
Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial.
Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down.
We can note our triggers as well as strategies for coping with them
Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will remind us just how hard it was – and make us realise it’s getting better and easier every day.
To learn more about the magic of journaling listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 98 to hear my interview with writer in recovery Melinda Ferguson – released on 26th March 2022
Tool No 9 – “Get a Project”
It’s very common for people to feel a bit flat once they have achieved their first few months of sobriety.
Many people in Tribe Sober (including me) experienced that “flatness’/depression/void” or whatever you want to call it – when they asked me what they should do about it I just told them to sit it out as it would eventually pass
However that advice changed after my podcast interview with Dr Loretta Breuning (author of the Happy Brain) – so do have a listen, its episode 55 and was released on 14 August 2021.
Loretta explained that my brain was quite happy during the first few months as it had registered that it was working on a project (ie sobriety) and I was making progress – however after a few months my subconscious was thinking – ok so now we are sober, now what?
Well here’s the thing – as human beings we need projects – think of the cavemen, they would wake up hungry and have to go and find some food, eating the food would give them a dopamine hit but then they would get hungry again and have to go hunting..
So as you settle into your first few months of sobriety GET A PROJECT to keep you on track and to keep those happy brain chemicals triggered.
This week we are looking at:- 
Tool No 10 - Be Prepared!
As with most things in life preparation is crucial…
Imagine if you are going out for the evening and you decide that you will “decide whether or not to drink when you get there” – so of course when the waiter or your host offer you a glass of wine you find yourself automatically accepting!
Make the decision not to drink before you leave the house!
Play the movie forward – what ARE you going to drink – if it’s a restaurant then check out their drinks menu online and decide what you will order – even if they don’t have any AF choices sparkling water goes can be your fallback
If you are going to a dinner party the text your host in advance and take some AF bubbly with you
Decide what you are going to say when/if people start to interrogate you – you can keep it simple “I’m on meds”, “I’m driving” or my favourite “I’m on a healthkick – no booze, no sugar, no carbs for 66 days!” 
As you clock up more sober time and get more used to navigating our alcohol drenched society you will get more confident and find that you enjoy saying “I don’t drink”
Remember its’ not your responsibility to make others feel comfortable about their drinking
Having said that the worst thing to say is probably “I’m worried about my drinking” as everybody will then pile into reassure you that you are fine (because you drink the same as them!)
So to summarise you need to “play the movie forward”
Look at your calendar for the month ahead, look at any upcoming social events which may be challenging and plan carefully
If drinking at home was your problem then give away your booze – or move it to somewhere you can’t see it (the garage is a good place) and make sure your fridge is stocked with delicious AF choices – if you are in SA just go to drinknil.co.za and they will deliver to your door
Tribe Sober members get a discount from drink nil so go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe!”
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, You Tube, TikTok, Twitter, and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.

Smacked, Hooked and Crashed with Melinda Ferguson

Smacked, Hooked and Crashed with Melinda Ferguson
My guest this week has an extraordinary story of recovery to share - she’s gone from a homeless heroin addict living on the streets of Joburg to a highly respected public figure here in SA.  Melinda Ferguson is an award-winning South African journalist and author of bestselling memoirs Smacked, Hooked and Crashed. She is also a publisher and runs writing courses to help people find their voice.
In this Episode
Growing up in an alcoholic household Melinda took to booze at an early age – describing it as a “piece of heaven”
As she got older she rejected alcohol as she hated to see her mother drinking so turned towards hard drugs, taking her first hit of heroin at the age of 24.
As a film maker she managed to stay relatively functional for a couple of years – she always had it in mind that she would be able to stop whenever she wanted to
I think a lot of us drinkers are like that – thinking we could stop anytime, its only when we actually try to quit or even to cut down that we realise we have become dependent
When she became pregnant Melinda realized that she was hooked and couldn’t stop – continuing to use throughout her two pregnancies – always planning to stop “tomorrow” but of course tomorrow never came
Her two babies were taken away from her but even then she couldn’t stop using
Rock bottom came for Melinda when she found herself living on the streets as an addict.
Her family removed her from that situation and moved her to a “homeless farm” which happened to be full of alcoholics – so that’s when alcohol re-appeared in her life.
When she was discovered drinking and smoking dagga she was asked to leave – this was a real wake up call – about to be made homeless from a farm for the homeless was her “desperation awakening” as she calls it
She finally accepted that she had a problem and would have to stop using drugs
The only place she had to go was back “home” with her mom – where she had to cope with alcohol in the house and seeing her mom and stepdad drinking every evening.
At this point in her life she had no money, no car, no decent clothes but she did have AA/NA meeting to go to every night which kept her on track
At these meetings she “surrendered” – finally acknowledging that she needed help – something that we agreed was the hardest thing of all.
Melinda had got to the stage when “enough is enough” – I also remember getting to that stage where I thought “I can’t do this any more”
That’s not a bad think and makes me think of a quote from JK Rowling “my rock bottom became the foundation for the rest of my life”
With hindsight she can see that her surrender was actually her strength – not her weakness
Year 1 of her recovery was extremely difficult – just a matter of getting through each day until her evening AA/NA meeting – she felt very depressed and was barely functional
After 2 years in recovery she sensed what she calls an awakening of the spirit and by 5 years she was reconnecting with herself and getting results
We talked about the length of time people spend “in recovery” and agreed that we have to be patient – it also varies a lot – someone with a drinking problem who was able to hold down a job and a relationship is likely to recover more quickly than someone who has hit rock bottom due to hard drugs – all depends on how much you have “messed up” as Melinda put it!
Have a listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 61 (released in September 2021) – I’m talking to rehab doctor Dr Dawn who explains that in the rehabs they have a rule of thumb that it takes a month of recovery for every year that we’ve been using..
Realising that she was in it for the long haul helped Melinda and she stopped being so hard on herself, she stopped comparing herself with others and began to internalize and feel good about her achievements, however small they seemed.
After getting clean Melinda moved in with a very heavy drinker – said it felt “normal” – she believes that whatever trauma we suffer as a child we become programmed to find that “normal” when we are adults – and of course she grew up with an alcoholic mom, so living with a drinker felt like “home”
She believes that many alcoholics come from alcoholic families but also believes that we can change the pattern - as she has with her sons who are in their early 20’s and don’t drink
We talked about her writing – Melinda always wrote during her recovery and her first book Smacked was an accumulation of those writings.
The success of Smacked took her out of feeling like a failure and gave her back her pride – she realized that she could learn to love herself
She took us through the themes of each of her 3 books – Smacked, Hooked and Crashed – do get hold of them, I promise you will love them
Melinda is such a talented writer and I love the way she describes journaling as “meeting yourself on the page” – this is exactly what we need to be doing to process our emotions as we go through recovery – like her I believe it’s one of the most therapeutic things you can do
To quote Melinda again “Your secret self emerges – a self that might not be revealed otherwise”
We talked about the book by Julia Cameron called “The Artists Way” – she suggests that we write our Morning Pages when we wake up in the morning – just to get your creativity going
The good news is that you get some personal coaching from Melinda by enrolling in one of her online writing courses – I’ve done one and can really recommend it – just drop her a line at melindafergusonwriter@gmail.com – I’ll put it in the shownotes.
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Sober Short - Get a Project!

Tribe Sober – Inspiring an Alcohol-free Life! 
SOBER SHORT 9 – Find a Project!
I’m kicking off our Sober Short series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to tribesober.com, hit Our Services and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone.
These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today.  Next Workshop is on 27th March – morning for US people and afternoon/early evening for UK, Europe and South Africa
During the first 8 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first  Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to tool number  let’s do a quick recap…
In this Episode
Tool number 1 was “Get Connected”
Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path.
If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership.
Tool number 2 was “Get Moving”
We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get!
Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength”
All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions.
We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.”
Tool number 4 was all about Mindset
It was about changing your thinking – about drinking.
We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day!
We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one.
“Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and…
You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety.
Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation
We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation.
One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret?
Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again?
Tool number 6 – Information is Power
It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us.
Even if you do decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases.
That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information.
If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email janet@ts.com – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going.
Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable”
When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing.
WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us.
So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe.
If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email janet@tribesober.com and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers.
Last week looked at TOOL Number 8 - which is “Journaling”
At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey.
Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial.
We recommended listing your Why’s (why do you want to quit drinking) in the front of the journal and your blacklist (everything that went wrong when you drank) in the back
Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down.
We can note our triggers as well as strategies for coping with them
Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will remind us just how hard it was – and make us realise it’s getting better and easier every day.
So let’s get to Tool No 9 – which is “Get a Project”
It’s very common for people to feel a bit flat once they have achieved their first few months of sobriety. The pink cloud has gone and they are left wondering “is this it” – it certainly happened to me – it’s a kind of anhedonia when we can’t seem to feel pleasure from anything and we start to wonder if we have done the right thing.
This happened to me during month 4,5,6 and I very nearly gave up – trouble was I was blogging away about the joys of sobriety and everyone was telling me they were so “proud of me” so I felt accountable and obliged to keep going – so I did – but it was a miserable time.
Many people in Tribe Sober experienced that “flatness’/depression/void” or whatever you want to call it – when they asked me what they should do about it I just told them to sit it out as it would eventually pass
However that advice changed after my podcast interview with Dr Loretta Breuning (author of the Happy Brain) – do have a listen, its episode 55 and was released on 14 August 2021.
Loretta questioned me about my few months of anhedonia and we discovered that it could have been avoided so now I am able to give people more positive advice than “sitting it out” when they get those early sobriety blues
Loretta explained that my brain was quite happy during the first few months as it had registered that it was working on a project (ie sobriety) and I was making progress – however after a few months my subconscious was thinking – ok so now we are sober, now what?
Well here’s the thing – as human beings we need projects – think of the cavemen, they would wake up hungry and have to go and find some food, eating the food would give them a dopamine hit but then they would get hungry again and have to go hunting..
Human beings weren’t designed to sit on the sofa and order takeaway food – of course we can do that but it wont make us happy or keep us healthy
So back to sobriety – as Loretta analysed my anhedonia she helped me to realise that it hadn’t passed because I had been patient and waited – it had passed because I had the idea to start Tribe Sober – I had a project, which needed lots of mini goals and learning. I had to create a website, design a workshop and learn about marketing – all this kept me busy and kept my happy brain chemicals triggered.
So many of our tribe have experimented with different projects and have been able to reconnect with their creativity
When we ditch the drink we have time (and hopefully a bit of extra money now that we don’t buy booze) so there is ample opportunity to find your passion
So as I said in a recent article I wrote (link will be in the shownotes) Don’t wait for Happiness to Strike – get a project!
So that was Tool number 9 - Get a Project – I’ll be back with our main podcast on Saturday and another Sober Short next Wednesday
You can check out our next workshop (27th March) on tribesober.com where we cover the toolkit and much more
Thanks for listening – please follow and share the podcast!
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor 
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
 
Help us to Spread the Word! 
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, You Tube, TikTok and Instagram.
You can catch our FB live on certain Saturday mornings (11 am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

How Sober Spring Changed My Life with Kai Kunze

 
Sober Spring begins the day after this podcast is released so I wanted to share the story of one of our members from Germany.  He signed up for our very first Sober Spring back in 2018 – and he hasn’t had a drink since! 
We already have people from all over the world signed up for Sober Spring 2022 - 66 alcohol free days with online, community and audio support – start date March 20th.  More info HERE.
In this Episode
Kai was only planning to do a challenge as he was not particularly worried about his drinking – he just loved challenges ;-)
He’s a great example of someone who did the challenge with an open mind and gradually came to the conclusion that alcohol was adding nothing to his life!
He read about Tribe Sober in a flight magazine when he was on holiday in South Africa – he took a photo on his phone and although he didn’t act on it for another couple of years the seed was sewn.
That’s often all it takes – I say to people when they come to our workshops – “you may not ditch the booze immediately but you will never see it in the same way again” ;-)
Kai was very engaged in the Sober Spring chatroom and he noticed that many people were really struggling.
That was a bit of an eye opener for him – he wasn’t struggling at all but he realized that he never wanted to get to that stage
He also noticed that some people in the chatroom were saying how great they felt without the booze and that they may give up for good – that surprised him as he had never thought of doing that!
Kai’s children played a big part in his journey – his son told him that he hated it when his breath smelt of alcohol and his daughter told him that he “laughed too loud” when he drank.
These comments by his children shocked him – and played a big role in his decision to quit permanently. These days he is a great role model for his kids.
When he got to 66 days he immediately set his next milestone – 100 days. Then his daughter challenged him to do a year – and now he is four years sober!
Setting mini goals and doing it “step by step” is much more manageable than saying “I am giving up drinking forever” – avoid the F word as it’s too overwhelming.
At the end of our workshops we suggest people try 66 days of sobriety - we never suggest they stop "forever"
Kai enjoyed his journey to sobriety and experienced some significant benefits – he’s an influencer in the business community, a role model for his kids – and enjoys being an “anthropologist” when he is out with people who are drinking.
He also loved the way it has simplified his life – no more counting the glasses he drinks – he just doesn’t drink.  His sleep and his skin has improved, he feels happy and full of energy! 
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Sober Short - Keep a Journal

Tribe Sober – Inspiring an Alcohol-free Life! 
SOBER SHORT 8 – Keep a Journal!
Our Sober Short series takes you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to this link and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone.
These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today.
During the first 7 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first 7 Tools in our toolbox.  Before we move on to tool number 8 let’s do a quick recap…
In this Episode 
Tool number 1 was “Get Connected”
Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path.
If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership.
Tool number 2 was “Get Moving”
We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get!
Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength”
All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions.
We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.”
Tool number 4 was all about Mindset
It was about changing your thinking – about drinking.
We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day!
We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one.
“Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and…
You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety.
Tool number 5 – was about Visualisation
We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation.
One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret?
Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit - again and again?
Tool number 6 – Information is Power
It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us.
Even if you decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases.
That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information.
If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email janet@ts.com – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going.
 
Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable”
Many people try (and fail) to give up drinking on their own – I should know as I was one of them.
Most of us are surrounded by people who are “normal” drinkers and just tell us to “drink less” or heavy drinkers who assure us I was “fine” and that “everyone drinks a bottle of wine a night”.
Even if they really care about us, those people don’t really care if we are struggling.
When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us - people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing.
WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us.
So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe.
If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email janet@tribesober.com and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers. 
So today we are going to TOOL Number 8 - which is “Journaling”
A quick google search on the “benefits of journaling” will highlight the many advantages of keeping a daily journal – and keeping a journal during your recovery journal is even more valuable.
At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey.
Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial.
In the front of the journal, it’s always a good idea to write your WHY list – why do you want to give up alcohol?
People rarely struggle with this question and the reasons are usually important ones – for their children, to save their marriage, to perform better at work to improve their health, etc.
When we embark on this journey, we are usually full of motivation but that often fades after a few weeks – we haven’t quite settled into our alcohol-free lives, we haven’t experienced many benefits yet and we are not quite sure what to do with ourselves. That’s when we need to refer to our WHY list – to remind us every single day why we are doing this thing. If you’d like an exercise to help you create your WHY list, just write to janet@tribesober.com.
So, write your WHY list in the front of your journal – and in the back cover you could write your A blacklist is quite simply a list of the things that went wrong when you were drinking.  Arguments, blackouts, hangovers, bad decisions, etc.  It’s SO easy to forget just how bad our drinking got – our brains trick us into remembering the good times rather than the bad.  Keeping a blacklist in our journal will remind us that yes, things did get pretty bad, and we don’t want to go back there!
I certainly had a substantial blacklist – it’s not as if every time I drank bad things happened but when bad things DID happen alcohol always seemed to be involved!
So, once you’ve got the front and back covers filled in what else is that journal useful for:
Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down.
We can note our triggers – we can apply the HALT test and decide if our craving was caused by Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, or Tiredness.
We can list strategies for coping with our cravings – every time we resist a craving, we’ll get stronger.
Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will remind us just how hard it was – and make us realise it’s getting better and easier every day.
We can also notice patterns of behaviour – if we did have a slip up then can we spot any reasons leading to it.
We can allocate a couple of pages to list the benefits we are feeling as we progress further into our sobriety.
Writing down three things we are grateful for at the end of the day has psychological benefits – apparently even searching in your mind for things to be grateful for will trigger those happy brain chemicals.
So that was TOOL number 8 from our workshop toolbox - all about Journaling
If you want to learn more about our workshops just go to tribesober.com/services.
Thanks so much for listening – I’ll be back with our main podcast on Saturday and another Sober Short next Wednesday…
More Info 
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor 
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word! (H3)
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
You can catch our FB live on certain Saturday mornings (11 am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE.
Thank you for listening!
Till Next Week
Janet x
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

How Tribe Sober changed my life...with John Rishworth

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
My guest this week is one of our loyal Tribe Members – John Rishworth is from Canada and has just celebrated 8 months of sobriety. 
After drinking heavily for years John got some counselling to help him come to terms that he would have to make some changes but as he says it was joining the tribe that gave him the connection and support that he needed to put these changes into practice.
In this episode
John was in sales and marketing and describes the work hard/play hard culture which prevailed – I think many of us have worked in corporates that have encouraged long hours compensated by drinking sessions sponsored by the company.
He was surrounded by heavy drinkers and used to suffer colossal hangovers.
He talked us through one of his Friday night drinking sessions which could easily escalate into 20 units – a lot when you think that the low risk limits are just 14 units – a week!
He always would have described himself as highly functional but looking back he realises that he was not operating at full capacity.
As we always say even if alcohol doesn’t destroy you it will prevent you from reaching your potential.
The sad thing is that when we are drinking we get used to feeling below par – we always feel tired in the mornings (due to poor quality sleep) – I used to think it was all part of getting older – but now that I am older and alcohol free I realise it was the alcohol that was wearing me out!
That’s why so many of us get quite evangelical about sobriety – its been years since we’ve felt so happy, healthy and energetic!
When John realised that the only thing that would alleviate his all day hangover was a drink he began to realise that he needed to make some changes.
But the real clincher was a hospital stay which involved some liver tests resulting in medical advice to give up drinking completely
John was distraught after hearing this advice and I think many of us can identify with that feeling he experienced on the hospital gurney – that feeling of life being over if we can’t drink…
That’s an indication of the stunning job that the alcohol industry has done to convince us that we need their toxic product to enjoy our lives!
And that’s why it does take “work” to reverse these limiting beliefs – which is exactly what we help people to do at our regular Zoom workshops (go to ts.com – services for more info)
After his hospital scare John did stay off the booze for a few months but then the doctor told him that his tests results had improved so he could have the odd glass of wine – so John had to learn the hard way that he had already crossed the line with his drinking and there would be no going back…
On Fathers Day 2021 John decided that he was going to stop drinking – and that he would find a way to do it – and shortly after that he found tribe sober.
The biggest step of all is to accept that you are alcohol dependent and then to reach out to get some help – then the HOW will get clearer..
Many people eventually get to that stage when they know that they are “done” with alcohol – they are sick and tired of being sick and tired – if you feel that way then don’t despair because it’s a good thing – now you just need to find the HOW. – you need to find other people on the same path
John explained that when people are struggling with alcohol they tend to isolate – I think this is because society expects everyone to be able to drink “normally” which means that the 20% of social drinkers who do become dependent feel that there is something wrong with them!
Women especially have to walk a kind of tightrope – if we don’t drink we are “boring” but if we get drunk that’s not cool either!
That’s why a sober community helps so much – we meet other people who are struggling (so we can ditch the shame – its not just us!) and we can meet people who have ditched the drink and are enjoying their lives. Whereas most of us tend to mix with “normal” drinkers who can take it or leave it or heavy drinkers who will assure us that we are fine!
John explained that being in the tribe connected him with like minded people and gave him a place to go where he could share his ups and downs and hear about tools that could help him.
Helpful tools for John have been quitlit and podcasts as well as the Alcohol Free drinks.
John made a conscious effort that he would still drink in bars with his friends and still be fun even though he’d be drinking alcohol free. John is a natural extrovert so this was not too difficult but for some of us we may need to “fake it until we make it” but it will get easier with time.
We heard about his first Sober wedding when he experienced some mental anguish beforehand - (would he or wouldn’t he drink on this occasion?) – this was an issue he raised at one of our Zoom Cafes – eventually he make up his mind that he would NOT drink at the wedding and he would find a way to manage however hard it was.
This is important - if we go to an event thinking that we will decide whether or not to drink when we get there it is almost inevitable that we will drink. So just as John decided that he would stop drinking and find a way to do it – he decided he would not drink at this wedding – and find a way to do it.  This approach saves a lot of mental anguish!
We talked about recovery and the fact that it is never linear and of course different for each of us – reflecting back on his 8 months of sobriety John remembers the early days when he was hyperfocused and used all stickers and trackers to check off every single alcohol free day whereas these days he tends to count months rather than days as sobriety becomes the new normal.
Of course like all of us he occasionally questioned his decision and had the urge to pick up the scotch but he used his toolkit – connected with the tribe and played the movie forward..
Johns top 3 benefits- no more hangovers, no more wasting time and not functioning at full capacity- he’s much more honest with himself these days
being part of the tribe where he enjoys the authentic connections and inspiration..
Tribe Sober's Spring Challenge starts on 20th March
66 alcohol free days – supported by daily emails and 66 mini podcasts
It's great fun as we put everyone on the Sober Spring Bus on Day one and they all travel through the 66 alcohol free days together – its always a great vibe on that bus as everyone encourages and supports each other – so don’t miss the bus
Sign up today – just go to tribesober.com and click on Sober Spring 2022
If you’d like copy of our PDF “Sobriety Battleplan” – packed full of trackers and charts to get you started and keep you on track just email janet@tribesober.com
More info
For an affordable monthly subscription you can join Tribe Sober - read about the benefits of membership and sign up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then               sign up today          Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE
          Book a Chat with Sue to find out if our membership would help you - email her on membership@tribesober.com 
 Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)
1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field.
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).