Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

Finding Meaning in Recovery with Anthony Eldridge-Rogers

 
During my corporate career I had worked as an executive coach and when I founded Tribe Sober I decided I needed to add recovery coaching to my skillset.  I asked around for recommendations and was told that I must contact Anthony Eldridge-Rogers as he is the pioneer of Recovery Coaching in the UK.  So I enrolled on his recovery and wellness coaching course and learned all about his meaning centred coaching model. 
Anthony started his adult life as a survivor of a whole heap of challenges from addiction to homelessness. Over several years he managed to turn it around and learn to thrive in spite of his difficult start in life.
 
In this Episode
Anthony told us about his difficult childhood and how his mother became an addict and spent time in psychiatric hospitals.
Along with his siblings he moved in with his grandmother who was also addicted to drugs.
The only way the children found to deal with the trauma was to use drugs themselves
Anthony discovered the power of a mood altering substance at a very young age and was drinking alcohol at 9 years old
He loved the way it made him feel – the way his shyness and anxiety just fell away
He continued to abuse alcohol into his teens, adding drugs into the mix
Anthony’s mother got worse and (as he puts it) he had a front row seat to the horror show
Intuitively he knew that her psychiatric issues were linked to her drug use
Her doctors were desperate so shipped her off to a rehab where she arrived with a suitcase full of drugs
It took 3 or 4 months to wean her off the drugs and then to encourage her to mix with the other people as she began work on the 12 steps
Much to everyone’s amazement the program worked and Anthonys mother rose “as a phoenix from the ashes” – from a “basket case to a sane and loving woman”
Someone who was truly contrite about the damage she had inflicted on her 3 children
Anthony found all this emotion totally overwhelming – along with the shock of getting his mother back after all these years
So he hit the bottle – hard – for months – but the miracle of what had happened to his mother was by then firmly lodged in his brain
When attending family therapy his counsellor told him he had a drink problem – he was annoyed by this comment but it stuck in his brain
At the age of 19 he had a “road to Damascus” moment and knew that he would have to stop drinking so he started going to AA meetings
Anthony reflected that giving people hope is such an important part of the work that we do in recovery – and the people who Anthony was meeting during that period were giving him hope
They were telling him he was “treatable” and of course his mom had shown him that it was possible
So he got sober with a mix of rehab and 12 step meetings
Anthony had a career in the film industry but when he became a dad he decided to train as a coach
We reflected that whereas therapy tends to look backwards into our childhoods coaching was more about looking at the future
Anthony had been in therapy for many years and no longer wanted to talk about his relationship with his mother which of course all the therapists wanted to focus on – that approach no longer worked for him
As he went through his coaching training he had a massive aha moment – he felt like he had found the missing part of the puzzle
It occurred to him that the coaching skills that he was learning could be of great help to people as they move through their recovery
He came up with a great analogy about the intensive work done in rehab and how after detox and treatment the rehab will shoot the client out into orbit - but without the requisite coping skills they will just fall back to earth
Although they may have learned a lot in rehab and been weaned off the drugs they need coaching when they leave – to help them develop the coping skills to manage in the outside world
As Anthony put it – let's get the wheels back on the truck in rehab and then look at recovery coaching after that
Because the therapeutic approach, nor even having a sponsor was hitting the spot
As he began to research his coaching model he looked at the metrics of recovery
His research showed him that meaning and purpose were integral to recovery
Take away meaning and purpose from someone’s life and it will psychologically collapse
We are very conscious of that here at Tribe Sober – conscious that recovery is about so much more than “not drinking” – once our members have managed to quit drinking we then help them to learn to thrive in their alcohol free life which of course means discovering their meaning and purpose
If you want to take a look at our 7 step model that guides our members through this journey just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe”
Finding our meaning and purpose makes us more resilient, unlocks our energy and gives us a feeling of connection
I love what he says about coaching being recoding the brain – just as we paste a bit of code into our computer – we can do that with our brain via coaching
You heard us talking about neural pathways and at the moment we are running our annual 66 day alcohol free challenge – its called #Sober66 and you can sign up anyday during September – you will get 66 days of community, online and audio support form the date you sign up
I asked Anthony what he would say to someone who was struggling – his message is one of hope – millions of people have conquered their addiction and gone on to have wonderful lives
So reach out for help and don’t go it alone – go to tribe sober and hit “join our tribe” if you’d like to give us a try
The best way to connect with Anthony is via LinkedIn More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

#Sober66 - Your Annual Sober Challenge!

One of the ways we’ve been helping people is via our regular alcohol free challenges – which are a great way to dip your toes into the waters of sobriety and also to test your dependence.  If you find our challenges a breeze then that’s awesome – but if you find them really difficult then that’s a clear sign that you need to make a few changes.
As a result of the pandemic and also of this podcast Tribe Sober had become much more international these days
Our Sober Spring Challenge used to be full of locals but over the last few years we’ve been joined by Brits, Europeans and Americans – and if course in those countries it’s not Spring at all!  Even if it’s not Spring where you live September is a great month for a new start, it’s often a month when those daily routines shift a bit… a time when the kids go back to school or even leave the nest for college..
So to make our Sober Spring more more international we are rebranding it..
You’ve all heard of Route 66 – well our challenge is going to be called #Sober66 – it’s 66 alcohol free days…with plenty of support to get you through
 
In this episode:-
This challenge really is life changing and if you have any doubts about that just dig into some of our previous Tribe Sober podcasts
Episode 12 with Chez, episode 15 with Kai, 16 with Christelle, 17 with Sheila and 21 with Lebo,
Each of those episodes is called “How the Sober Spring Challenge Changed my Life” 
There are SO many reasons to take a 66 day break from the booze but I’ll constrain myself to just 10:-
REASON 1 – ITS LONG ENOUGH TO SEE BENEFITS
REASON 2 – YOU’LL GO FROM MERELY MOTIVATED TO INSPIRED!
REASON 3 – YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
REASON 4 – YOUR LOOKS!
REASON 5 – YOUR WEIGHT
REASON 6 – YOUR SLEEP
REASON 7 – YOUR GENERAL HEALTH
REASON 8 – BUILD A NEW NEURAL PATHWAY
REASON 9 - TO CHECK YOUR DEPENDENCE
REASON 10 – THE DOMINO EFFECT
We picked on 66 days because that’s how long it takes to change a habit so if you are thinking about making alcohol-free living a permanent lifestyle choice then you will find it SO much easier after 66 days — you will have built a whole new neural pathway!
If you are just looking to cut down then do the challenge and you will find it SO much easier to drink within the low-risk levels of one and a half bottles of wine (or six beers) a week.
          HOW IT WORKS
The Challenge will run for 66 days — starting on 1st September. That’s long enough to assess your relationship with alcohol and to build a new and healthy habit.
You will receive a daily email, packed with tips, tools and inspiration for 66 days. You’ll also have access to 66 motivatonal mini-podcasts.
You will be added to a WhatsApp Chat Group to connect with other Sober Springers. To share tips and encourage each other to stay on the bus!
You will also receive an invitation to join our Sober Sprinters Facebook Group and our Zoom Cafe every Saturday.
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Burnout... and alcohol dependence with Jax

My guest this week is Tribe Member Jax - an educator who is passionate about her work and who has struggled with both alcohol dependence and burnout.  One of those rare people who only ever has one Day One Jax found Tribe Sober one week into her sobriety and she's been inspiring and motivating our members ever since!
In this episode
Jax was a late developer when it came to alcohol - coming from a non drinking family and mixing with a serious crowd who didn't drink alcohol was just not "on her radar" as she puts it
Things changed when she got to her late 30's/early 40's.  She found herself wanting an "extra glass" of champagne or wine when she was at a restaurant or a dinner party.
Her non drinking partner noticed and remarked that she got quite "animated" - even argumentative by the end of the evening
Then he came out with that line that so many of us are familiar with "why can't you have just one"
Like the rest of us Jax of course tried to have "just one" and in fact there would be a little dialogue going on in her head as she got ready to go out along the lines of "I must just have one tonight"
Like the rest of use that rarely worked out - I can still remember that sense of failure because I couldn't have "just one" or even "just three" in my case
Thats why you need a sober community - you need people that would never tell you to have "just one"
Join tribesober.com to learn to quit completely and then to go on and thrive in sobriety
A worrying development for Jax was that she wanted to drink during the week as her habit escalated from occasional to habitual
She began to love drinking alone which is a real red flag - moving from using alcohol to socialise to using alcohol to self medicate our stress
She was still in denial and would never acknowledge her hangovers which she would write off as a "bit of a headache"
As her career developed Jax found herself getting more and more responsibility - working 70 hour weeks
This workload was a major trigger for Jax as it left her no time to refresh and recharge with hobbies and personal development.
She fell victim to Burnout and her only respite seemed to be putting her feet up with a glass of wine
Completely exhausted she could no longer find any pleasure in anything
Jax withdrew from her partner and her friends, became isolated and drank more
She felt a mix of despair and despondency and knew she would need to quit drinking - she researched into the subject of alcohol dependence and found Tribe Sober 
She discovered the power of community and just what it meant to meet people who understood her - they had been in exactly the same situation
Jax didn't see her sobriety as a punishment, instead she saw it as an opportunity to change her life and to find herself again - a perfect mindset
As Jax so rightly said - if we go into sobriety feeling sorry for ourselves and being annoyed with others for drinking then we are setting ourselves up for failure
Day One of sobriety dawned and she never looked back - her first year of sobriety will be completed in December 2022
Jax set boundaries with her friends - she took them out individually to explain her plans and they offered their support
We agreed that it was best to be upfront with people and our tribe members often text their friends to explain they won't be drinking that evening
Her first month was difficult with detox symptoms and her PAWS lasted several months. 
PAWS can include anhedonia so if you suffer from this please listen to Tribe Sober podcasts episode 55 when Dr Loretta Breuning will explain how to keep your happy brain chemicals triggered More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

”My Unfurling” with Lisa Bennett

 
My guest this week is author Lisa Bennett.  After a career in marketing she ditched the booze in her early 50’s, left her job and wrote a book about the joys of sobriety.  Her book is called “My Unfurling” and emphasises how many aspects of our lives will change when we stop using alcohol to numb our feelings and our dreams.
Lisa lives in Maryland with her husband, her mom, two cats and a dog.  She enjoys paddleboarding, yoga and dancing in the kitchen!
In this Episode
Lisa started drinking in her teens and says that her first 6 years of drinking created deep pathways in her brain.
The heady combination of being away from home and having access to cheap alcohol together with the fact that she was a bit shy meant drinking was a great way to connect and fit in with the other students.
On reflection Lisa realises she could have done so much better at college if she hadn’t been partying so much!
After college she went to live in the heart of New York City where the party continued! So easy to go out drinking and pour herself into a cab to get home.
So she left NY at the age of 29 with a very well established drinking habit – 3 or 4 nights out a week was the norm and like many of us Lisa discovered she had no “off” switch
She ended up in an AA meeting as research for a work related project – that experience simply confirmed to her that she was “not an alcoholic” as she didn’t relate to the people there – so she had a drink on the way home to celebrate!
This also happened to me and with hindsight we agreed that we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves with the hard core alcoholics in AA – we should be comparing ourselves with the best version of ourselves that we could be – quite simply alcohol will prevent us from reaching our potential in life
Going back to Lisa she of course tried to moderate – and set and broke “the rules” many times
We talked about “rock bottom” and how crazy it is to wait for “rock bottom” – the trick is to get off that slippery slope the moment you realise you are on it!
We talked about wake up calls – as she reached her 40’s Lisa found she could no longer predict the effect that a few drinks was going to have on her – I also experienced that and now realise that it’s a real warning sign of dependence
She explained how a relatively modest amount of alcohol had led her to a blackout which ended in her throwing charcoal up to her bedroom window to wake up her husband in the early hours – as she puts in “she will never forget the disappointed look on her husband’s face as he came downstairs to let her in!”
We talked of the difficulty of being a woman who drinks – we mustn’t “get drunk” because that’s not cool but if we don’t drink we are no fun!
In fact Lisa’s husband told her that he didn’t think she had to give up drinking completely – this was a few months into sobriety so Lisa was able to remind him of all the things she had started doing that she never would have done had she still been drinking
This attitude of well meaning friends and relatives is another reason why we need a sober community – they will just tell us to “cut down” – not realising that we’ve crossed the line into dependence and cutting down is not an option.
Go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” if you need a community who understands what its like to have tried (and failed) to cut down over and over
One day Lisa very wisely realised that she was getting no “joy” from her drinking anymore – and that it was taking too much away from her
For most of us it actually takes a period of sobriety before we recognise that we gain so much more than we lose when we ditch the booze – so well done to Lisa for having that insight when she was still drinking!
Lisa’s turning point was reading an essay by Laura McCowen called “Am I an Alcoholic” –  https://www.lauramckowen.com/blog/am-i-an-alcoholic
We are great fans of Laura here at Tribe Sober and her book title “We are the Luckiest” just about sums up how we feel once we’ve ditched the booze and learnt to thrive in our sobriety
Like all of us Lisa had to “do the work” in early sobriety – her husband and friends were still drinking so she would often go to bed early when the socialising got difficult
She also had to work on “uncoupling” everyday experiences from alcohol – as she put it alcohol was so woven into her daily life she was not entirely sure whether she enjoyed various activities or if it was just the alcohol she was enjoying
For example she thought she enjoyed cooking and it was part of her identity that she was a “good cook” but once she removed the wine from her cooking experience she realised it wasn’t really her passion after all!
This raises an interesting point about how we lose touch with what we really like doing when we drink – for example you may discover that your Drinking Buddies are not that fascinating after all and that you would rather be learning to do something creative instead of spending time with them
Sobriety really is a journey of self discovery – bumpy at first and then full of joy – it's an “Unfurling” of who we really are
Lisa explained that she has built a lot of emotional strength in sobriety – by pushing out of her comfort zone and engaging in new activities and just by learning how to socialise sober.
She’s gained so much confidence since being sober – confidence non drinkers would have built up at a much younger age!
Alcohol saps our motivation to “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” to quote one of my favourite book titles. We stay trapped in our boozy little rut.
Lisa’s been trying so many new things since she got sober – aerial yoga, spinning classes and creative writing – and she’s written and published a book.
Her accomplishments are a reminder that we will never reach our potential in life if we are drinking – as she says “I’m so glad I gave myself a chance to see what I could do in sobriety”
I asked her for some tips for newbies and she suggested journaling – obviously not everybody is a writer like Lisa but she recommended getting some journal prompts from people like Glennon Doyle
Getting outside in nature is essential – it helps us to realise we are part of something so much bigger – and to be in the moment
She also recommended doing a Challenge and finding Facebook Groups which means I’m going to give ours a plug
We have a brand new Facebook Group called “Sober Sprinters” where we hosted our recent “5 day Sober Sprint” – that Sprint is over now but there is so much engagement on there we decided to keep it open as a home for all future Challenges.  Just search Sober Sprinters in FB and come join the conversation.
Lisa’s book is called “My Unfurling” and describes how different aspects of her life “unfurled” as she quit drinking – it's available on Amazon and you can also find it on her website which is called www.lisamaybennett.com    
I loved Lisa’s book which is a mixture of her story mixed with plenty of inspiration – her time in New York City as a twenty something made me think of all that cocktail drinking we used to watch in the Sex and the City series!
We both agreed that stopping drinking was just the beginning and that’s what makes the decision to quit such a gamechanger – it really alters the trajectory of your future
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 

When Sobriety means Coming Out....again with Andrew Addie

 
This week my guest is from Australia.  Andrew Addie is the CEO of an organisation called Untoxicated which is a registered charity.  They are a thriving tribe of sober and sober curious people -passionate about having a laugh, meeting new mates and smashing social norms along the way!
In a nutshell they teach people how to socialise without alcohol which for many of us was a whole new skillset
In this Episode
Andrew recommends telling people - getting on the front foot as he calls it
Take charge, tell people in advance that you are a non drinker
We agreed that alcohol controls much of the world – it’s almost like a cult and operates as a well-oiled machine
Big alcohol, governments and the marketing industry - all working together to keep us drinking!
Andrew was still recovering from the trauma of coming out as gay and then he had to come out as a non-drinker – which was in fact MUCH more difficult..!
If anyone had made homophobic remarks to him as a gay man he always felt he had the weight of the community to support him but when he would explain that he didn’t drink he was often met with astonishment and there was no support at all!
Andrew explained that research has shown that the LGBQT community do drink much more than the heterosexual community – and much of that drinking is due to a feeling of not fitting in
Andrew shared his story about being a binge drinker – his weekends would disappear as he was either wasted or sleeping – and gradually the drinking started creeping into the weekdays..
He went through what he describes as a “perfect storm” – a difficult break up triggered a serious depression.
He managed to hold it all together and would set rules – even taking a month off the booze now and again – but then he would go back to it – harder than ever..
We agreed that these sober months (like Dry January) can sometimes be counterproductive – people tend to white knuckle their way through them, there are few real benefits and the subconscious mind just registers sobriety as a miserable place to live.
I certainly used to do Dry January every year just to prove that I didn’t have a problem – and then like Andrew I would make up for lost drinking time the following month!
With years of sobriety under our belts we can testify to the numerous benefits of not drinking – but you have to keep going longer than a month to experience them.
Going back to Andrew’s story he started to work on his mental health – he went to a psychologist but refused the advice to stop drinking – he started to take anti depressants to cope.
Anti depressants and alcohol are not a great mix and Andrews drinking grew worse and he had a breakdown.
Through sheer luck he met a GP who got him into a program – he did a home detox under supervision from a clinic, used medication to help with the withdrawal symptoms and got through a couple of months of sobriety.
It really struck me when he said that he felt OK sometimes – instead of feeling dreadful all of the time
I heard a lady in our community say that it was so nice to wake up in the morning feeling ok instead of terrible…
It’s amazing how we get used to feeling rubbish every morning and just kind of accept it!
Just because we have to give in to that urge to drink that hits us during the day…
Andrew began to participate in sober online communities which he found really helpful for sharing tips…
Then he saw an Untoxicated event – he was very nervous but went along anyway
There were about 20 people with nothing in common but their struggles with alcohol – he discovered that magic connection – he’d found his people
Like me Andrew went through a bit of a low in early sobriety – he tried to hang out with the same people but started getting bored
It was time to find new interests – Andrew got into swimming and eventually took over Untoxicated as their CEO
We have both discovered the joy of connection and of helping others!
You can follow Andrew on Instagram untoxicated_aus
I know we have some listeners in Australia so why not go to the website which is untoxicated.com.au and check out the social events..More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Kickstart your Sober Life! with Janet Gourand

This is week I'm doing a solo episode about our online course which is called Kickstart Your Sober Life!
In this Episode
We've been running workshops since 2015 so have plenty of experience - almost 100 workshops on how to quit drinking!
With my 25 years of corporate experience in training and development I've designed an online version of our workshop
To ensure that people remain motivated and engaged throughout the workshop we've built in touchpoints
You begin the course with a Zoom call with me so I can explore your relationship with alcohol and guide you through the course - another Zoom call for a mid course review and then you'll be booked in for a coaching session at the end 
The course content is divided into 7 lessons - each lesson begins with an overview video from me and then we drill down into the topic with relevant podcasts, Facebook Lives and Reading Recommendations
At the end of every lesson is a multiple choice test to ensure that you've understood the principles of that lesson
Lesson 1 is about mindset - about exploring and overturning the limiting beliefs we hold in our mind about alcohol
Lesson 2 is about alcohol and your health - overview video and podcasts on immune system and cancer risk plus a BBC doccie called "Is Binge Drinking really that Bad?"
Lesson 3 is about how alcohol works - includes podcasts about "hangxiety" from William Porter and "dependence" from Ken Middleton, plus overview video, FB lives and reading recommendations
Lesson 4 is about finding your why - Finding Your Why is the key to getting (and staying) motivated - Tribe Sober team member Lucy will take you through an exercise to "Find Your Why" and Lynette does a video on "Loving Your Why"
Lesson 5 is about the toolkit - the heart of our courses - 15 tried and tested tools and strategies to enable you to quit drinking and then to go on and thrive in your alcohol free life 
Lesson 6 is about coaching - our Recovery Coach Lynette will explain what coaching is and how it can help you navigate those early tricky months of recovery - backed up by podcasts and lots of reading about coaching
Lesson 7 is about getting started - an overview video from me with advice on how to take all this theory and apply it to your life - also podcasts on beginning the healing journey with yoga, nutrition, meditation and various therapies
The course ends with you creating an Action Plan and booking yourself in with Lynette for a coaching session to enable you to start the implementation of everything you've learned
To get our PDF 10 steps to kickstart your sober life just email janet@tribesober.com
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Recovery Nutrition with Lindsey Beveridge

 
My podcast guest this week is Lindsey Beveridge who I met 7 years ago at a "how to quit drinking" workshop in London!  We were both hungover and grumpy so we didn’t even connect on that day so it’s been amazing to meet her again here in Soberland.  Shout out to Club Soda who ran that workshop as we are both 7 years sober now!  Not only are we sober but we both help other people to quit drinking and then to go on and thrive in their sobriety. 
Lindsey qualified as a nutritionist in 2019 and helps people to implement changes to their diet and lifestyle so they can feel better.  She uses a functional medicine approach to enable her clients to change their patterns of behaviour.
In this Episode
Lindsey was a teenage drinker and enjoyed the confidence it gave her
Like many of us her drinking got heavier as she got older until she became dependent
At the age of 47 she was taking “Are You an Alcohol?” quizzes and ticking all the boxes
Her excessive drinking began to frighten her and as a single parent she feared that her young daughter might find her dead one day
Lindsey realised that she should go for a medically assisted detox but she was afraid to do this in case her daughter was taken away from her
She tapered off her drinking to avoid the worst of the withdrawal symptoms but she would not recommend tapering to anyone
We discussed how difficult tapering is and how similar it is to the moderation battle
In retrospect she realises she should have gone to rehab for a detox
We agreed that for anyone with a serious drinking problem Rehab for a week and then connecting with a community to keep them on track was the best strategy
I always say to people that for the first few months they need to make their sobriety a priority and “throw the book at it” and Lindsey certainly did that!
As you heard she listened to podcasts, read books, did yoga, ate well and spent quality time with her daughter.
Lindsey agreed that we need projects to keep the dopamine triggered in early sobriety – for Lindsey it was exercise, learning new things and voluntary work that kept her happy.
She used this time to explore lots of different things and during that exploration she found some things that she absolutely loved.
Early sobriety is indeed a journey of self discovery and here at Tribe Sober we’ve set up a 7-step journey for our members - so they can try out things like coaching, yoga, hypnotherapy, meditation, art therapy - either for free or at significantly discounted rates.  Just CLICK HERE and check out what we can offer you.
Year 1 was tough for Lindsey – she was tired all the time – nutritionally lacking with gut issues – so she had to build herself up again
Year 2 was about dealing with the underlying trauma that she’d been drinking away for years – she went through a lot of intense therapy but
By Year 3 it was done a dusted and she felt great!
This is so important to hear for those people who have been sober for a while but don’t really feel they are thriving or enjoying life more – the message here is to be patient
Remember how long you’ve been drinking for and remember the guideline we learned from Dr Dawn (podcast number 61 – Sept 2021) – From her extensive experience as a rehab doctor Dawn has observed that it takes a month of recovery for every year that we drank for all of the benefits to manifest
As you do the maths and come up with 40 months (as in my case) don’t be discouraged as you will start to feel better almost immediately and of course for those people who are already a couple of years sober this is great news as it means that the benefits will just keep coming!
Lyndsey is a qualified and experienced nutritionist so she gave us some really useful advice about:-
Menopause – drinking during menopause will disrupt our endocrine system and make us more oestrogen dominant which can lead to breast cancer – that’s a fact that I wish I’d learned before I got my breast cancer!
In fact alcohol disrupts all our hormones, it throws out our thyroid, it affects our insulin levels and also prevents us from absorbing vital nutrients from our food.
The resulting nutritional deficiency affects our DNA replication and repair which of course has implications for cancer
As Lyndsey explained taking a handful of supplements will do nothing if we are drinking – the alcohol will simply cancel out any benefits – a bit like taking meds and drinking.
Of course we talked about gut health – the fact that alcohol affects not only our gut lining but also the microbiome which in turn affects many other parts of our body
Another interesting fact that I learned from Lyndsey was the fact that some of us have naturally low levels of dopamine so we turn to alcohol to make us feel good
Other people (including Lyndsey) have low levels of Gaba (the calming neurotransmitter) so will use alcohol to calm themselves down.
So in early sobriety we need to build up those neurotransmitters – if we tend to be dopamine deficient we can do more exercise to raise it and if we used alcohol to calm ourselves we need to find calming activities – like yoga, meditation or having or even having a hot bath.
We talked about the effect alcohol has on cognitive function – of course we all know that alcohol kills brain cells and the scary fact is that just as women’s drinking has increased significantly over the last 40 years, so have the number of dementia cases in the female population.
When I asked Lyndsey to list her benefits of sobriety she quite simply said “It changed everything” – she loves her work as a nutritionist, she loves her yoga, she got married and has better relationships.
Lyndsey has the most amazing Instagram feed which is packed with information which will help you in that first year of recovery – her Instagram is called recoverynutrition and her website is called www.recovery-nutrition.co.uk/
This episode comes out on 23rd July – Lyndsey is a guest speaker at our Saturday Zoom Café so if you would like to join then just email me at janet@tribesober.com – I will record Lyndsey’s talk  so if you cannot attend the live talk I can send you the recording
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

The Push and Pull of Recovery with Jeanna Fox

 
My podcast guest this week is Jeanna Fox – she’s a sobriety coach, podcaster, and writer.
As a college professor she inspired thousands of young adults to pursue their dreams. These days she uses her own experience to help women recover from addiction and childhood trauma.
In this Episode
Jeanna was a late starter with her drinking – in fact it wasn’t until after her gastric bypass operation at the age of 36 that she started to develop a drinking problem
Many people who have this operation to lose weight go on to develop a problem with alcohol – because alcohol becomes a new alternative to overeating.
Not only did Jeanna turn to drinking instead of eating to numb her feelings but she struggled to regulate her intake – sometimes she would pass out after one drink and other times she could have several and be fine – her reactions to alcohol became unpredictable
She had lots of blackouts so of course she introduced the “rules”
Only drinking at certain times, restricting to certain amounts, tipping barmen to ensure all her drinks were alcohol free – and no texting. Of course like all of us who set rules around our drinking she then went on to break them!
Tragically Jeanna lost her son to suicide and turned to alcohol to numb the pain –she drank for seven straight months and had several drinking related accidents which ended up in hospital
She also got arrested for drunken behaviour so was in real trouble
However one day she came across a Medium who helped her to feel a connection to her son.
This was a spiritual experience which became part of her recovery.
She got sober with AA and almost immediately wanted to help others.
Geanna had been abused as a child and she felt that this experience combined with her alcoholism gave her the insight she needed to help others.
She explained how she loves to use Plato’s allegory of the Cave – and how as we escape from our addiction it’s our duty to go back in and get people out!
We talked about AA and the way that they don’t like to talk about childhood abuse in the rooms – which annoys Jeanna because its one of the causes of her alcoholism – and for many others as well
Jeanna is working with her partner Vince to set up a membership program
The membership is for families of alcoholics – we agreed that many people go to rehab, then return to the family. The family expect them to be “cured” but in fact the whole family needs to work together to make things change.
Jeanna has a byline on her Linkedin Profile that says “If you’re successful with alcohol just imagine what you could be without it” – I love that and think its so true – even if alcohol doesn’t destroy us it will stop us reaching our potential
We talked about how pleasure and pain are big motivators – in early sobriety we are motivated by pain as our memories of the trouble alcohol caused us are fresh – but as those memories fade we are at risk at convincing ourselves we can have “just one”
William Porter describes this as Fading Affect Bias
The Challenge is to push through this and then the pleasures of sobriety will take over as the motivator – and the awesome thing is those pleasures keep coming as you discover the “surprising joy of being sober”
We talked about warning signs and agreed that feeling that you may have a problem with alcohol is a big one – the fact that you are listening to this podcast is a bit of a clue…
Jeanna’s advice to someone trying to get started is to join a community and just listen and learn – even if you carry on drinking just listen and learn for a while…
Jeanna has a podcast (Backporch Chats) and a website nowsobercoach.comMore Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Building Recovery Capital with David Collins

 
David Collins is well known in the recovery world.  He is the founder of the Foundation Clinic and U-ACT here in South Africa.  He is a Master Recovery Coach with a keen sense of social responsibility.  Through his Ubuntu Addiction Community Trust he’s trained a team of Recovery Coaches who are addressing South Africa’s need to build recovery capital.
In this Episode
David’s father was an alcoholic and he told us the touching story of creating a picture of his family in school at the age of 10 – then a classmate looking at the picture and saying that his parents were drug addicts.
That makes me think of our last workshop. There were several people there who had alcoholism in the family.  There was also a young guy who had small children and he told us that just listening to the sad stories from people who had grown up with an alcoholic parent had made him determined to change.
David made the decision that he would never be like his father – so he turned to hard drugs rather than alcohol!
We talked about the false beliefs we all have about addiction – the stories we tell ourselves – for example that wine is “better” than cocaine – but of course its all drugs..
He told us that it took about 3 years for him to go from “I’ve got a problem” to “This is hell and I need help” -  I’ve often talked about the average length of time for people it takes someone with an alcohol problem to reach out for help being 11 years so it seems that hard drugs will take you down faster!
David hit his rock bottom when he became addicted to heroin and crack cocaine and lost his kids to foster care.
As the result of a medical at the Japanese bank where he was working David was sent to his first rehab but it took a few rehab stays before he got clean.
He began his journey into recovery 26 years ago – when there was nothing else available except the 12 step approach.
However the 12 step model worked for him and he was abstinent for 15 years – in fact he called himself Captain Recovery and collected all the chips and keyrings going!
He was back in banking, remarried and was ticking all the boxes for a happy life – the only problem was that he wasn’t happy!
David did some personal development with the Mankind Project and then studied business coaching. It occurred to him that the coaching model would fit very well into recovery processes
As he explained the discipline of the 12 steps kept him clean for 12 years but then he needed more – rather than being told to keep to the steps he was ready to be empowered to discover what recovery actually meant for him – and recovery coaching was the perfect mechanism for that.
The role of the recovery coach is to facilitate the growth of Recovery Capital.
David explained that Recovery Capital is about building internal resources so that we can stay clean and be fulfilled in our lives
Here at Tribe Sober we enable you to quit drinking and then to go on and thrive in your alcohol free life – we have our own Recovery Coaches who can help you to build those inner resources needed to thrive
David talked about shame – the internal shame we all feel when we are struggling – and the communal shame felt by the family – and then of course the stigma society places on addiction which perpetuates the problem – we have to find a way to lift the shame and let the healing begin
We talked about the wider problems of alcohol and drug abuse here in SA and David is personally involved in training and sending recovery coaches into communities.
He strongly believes that recovery capital is key and research has shown for every $1 spent on education there is a saving of $7 ($3 on medical costs and $4 on criminal justice interventions)
That’s a pretty impressive return on investment!
With the work he does in the world of recovery David feels that he has connected to his soul's purpose
You can find out more about David on his website which is  https://davidcollinscoaching.com ., he’s on Instagram and I also spotted him doing some crazy stuff on TikTok the other day so do check him out!More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Walking Talking Blackouts with Anneke Roussel

 
Anneke Roussel is a Tribe Sober member who knows all about the work hard/play hard culture.  She worked overseas in Afghanistan and Somalia and often found herself sharing bottles of scotch with her male colleagues in Mogadishu.  The combination of retirement from her exciting career and the isolation of the pandemic saw her continuing with her scotch but adding a couple of bottles of wine into the mix.
In this Episode
Anneke married an alcoholic – he stopped drinking via AA and Anneke went to AA so she became well aware of the 12 steps and became a sponsor
She never imagined that she would become an alcoholic herself which shows that we should never become complacent
Anneke had a corporate career but she also owned a restaurant which became the heart of her social life
She had a severely disabled child and turned to alcohol to cope with the stress of managing her career and looking after her child.
Tragically her daughter died at the age of 10 and Anneke turned to drink to try to numb the pain
She took a job in Afghanistan where she worked with a bunch of hard drinking men. Only whisky was available so that’s where she learned to love her whisky.
She moved from Afghanistan to Somalia where she stayed for 5 years – another high stress job where sitting under the trees drinking whisky with her colleagues was the daily after work activity.
Anneke returned to South Africa planning to retire and then travel the world – however Covid hit which meant that she had to live on her farm which was fairly isolated
She managed to keep to her father’s rule of no booze before 5pm but at 5 it was a whisky followed by two bottles of wine.
We talked about how we get to the stage where we actually prefer drinking alone than being with other people – which is a real warning sign of dependence
It means we are creating a relationship with alcohol, its fast becoming our best friend.
Anneke felt that drinking had become part of her identity – that happens to many of us and that’s why our friends are so horrified when we say we are going to quit drinking!
Like me Anneke suffered from walking talking blackouts – and like me she was horrified to learn that those kind of blackouts mean that the brain become so soaked in alcohol it cannot even make memories – its not just that we have forgotten stuff!
It was lockdown and SA’s alcohol ban that made Anneke realise the severity of her problem. She found herself searching for liquor on the black market and didn’t care how much she paid.
She would go out to a restaurant, drink a bottle of wine alone and then purchase another bottle to bring home.
She went to look at a rehab but the 12 steps didn’t appeal to her as she definitely didn’t feel powerless over alcohol
At Tribe Sober we believe in putting down our glass and taking back our power!   
So at Tribe Sober Anneke found “her people” and an approach that worked for her. Tribe Sober coach Lynette helped her to find her power and to learn to be kind to herself.
She’s worked on her “inner child” – or inner children perhaps we should say – Anneke still has the saboteur and the inner critic - she now visualises them as children sitting in a bus – but these days Anneke is in the driving seat and just tells them to be quiet!
These days she is thoroughly enjoying her retirement and is so relieved that she made a conscious decision to quit so that she doesn’t risk drinking her retirement away like so many people do
If you are a bit older and worried about your drinking have a listen to my interview with British Psychiatrist Dr Tony – Tribe Sober podcast episode 35
She is now in her second year of sobriety so I asked her why she stuck around with the tribe – she had 3 reasons1.   She gets a reminder of just how hard it used to be when she sees new members starting out.2.  She loves the connection – with a group of people who understand you straight away3.  It keeps her grounded and reminds her never to think that she might be able to moderate!More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).