Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!
How do I stop drinking? How do I cut down? Am I drinking too much? I’m sober but why aren’t I happy? Why do people stop drinking? If you ask yourself these kind of questions then this podcast is for you. This show is for people who want to learn how to stop drinking and learn to thrive in their alcohol free lives. If you have given up drinking, would like to give up drinking or are just plain sober curious this weekly podcast is for you. We have recovery stories to inspire you, experts to inform you and QuitLit authors to entertain you. After struggling with alcohol dependency for years Janet Gourand finally ditched the booze in 2015. She founded tribesober.com in 2015 and has helped hundreds of people to ditch the booze and thrive in their sobriety since then. Tribe Sober offer a membership, workshops, challenges and recovery coaching. For more info go to tribesober.com or email janet@tribesober.com
Episodes

Saturday Jul 08, 2023
Sober Queens with Menopause Expert Sarah Davison
Saturday Jul 08, 2023
Saturday Jul 08, 2023
My guest this week is Homeopath Sarah Davison who is a natural menopause expert. She helps women with stress and all aspects of menopause so was able to explain why the menopause and alcohol don’t mix!
In this episode:-
Sarah was enjoying her corporate career until everything went pear shaped in her 40’s
The combination of family and work pressure mixed in with hormonal changes knocked her for six.
She felt completely stressed out and anxious – and so weak she could hardly climb the stairs
Sarah hadn’t even heard of the word at the time but now she knows she was in perimenopause
The silver lining of this perfect storm was that it made her question her life
She’d been going to a homeopath for years so went to see her to get some help.
The results were so amazing that she decided to leave her job and go back to college to study.
She did a 3 year full time degree course in homeopathic medicine
Sarah explained that homeopathy is a complete system of medicine in its own right – used by 450M people globally.
Natural and non toxic with no side effects it can be used to treat physical, mental and emotional illnesses.
It stimulates and reactivates our self-healing mechanism and our bodies will choose the wisest way to do the healing
Quite simply homeopathy allows our amazing bodies to heal themselves
There is plenty of evidence showing the efficacy of homeopathy
Sarah explained that Menopause is only ONE DAY – one year after the last period
10 to 14 years before that day is Perimenopause and after that day we become post Menopausal
Many women in their forties suffer from anxiety, depression insomnia and take medication for it – not knowing that it’s the Perimenopause
The average age of the Menopause is 51
I loved Sarah’s take on the 3 ages of women and will be stealing that one from her!
Women evolve from maidens to mother to crone but I share Sarah’s view that a crone gives the impression of an old and bent woman and that is not what mid life women look like!
So lets reframe if from maiden to mother to QUEEN – the Queen stage can be from 40 to 80
That’s when many women come into their power – we see it in our Tribe Sober Community all the time – women ditching the booze and then discovering what they really want to do with their lives
To join a community of Queens then join Tribe Sober via this link!
I found it fascinating to learn that Estrogen makes us compliant which may explain why so many women who drink are people pleasers
Exhausted from looking after everyone else they start using alcohol as a form of self care and a reward!
The problem with that strategy is that by the time we become post menopausal and our Estrogen levels drop we may have become dependent on alcohol
We may be drinking wine on a daily basis which will be sapping our energy and motivation to try new activities and step into our power
Sarah pointed out that drinkers are often very sensitive people who use alcohol as an emotional anaesthetic, especially if they have some unresolved issues
If you are prone to hot flushes be aware that alcohol will congest your liver and make them worse- if you want to have the “best” menopause that you can then don’t drink
I asked Sarah how we could heal our liver and gut after years of drinking
She pointed out the our liver works as a dustbin and eliminating the toxin alcohol will overload it.
What I didn’t know was that the liver also de-activates hormones – old hormones – so if it can’t deactivate estrogen we end up with too much estrogen floating around which causes an imbalance.
The evidence between alcohol and breast cancer is stacking up and estrogen driven breast cancer is quite common these days
I had that type of breast cancer and am sure that my heavy drinking was partly responsible
Sarah pointed out that bitter foods are great for the liver – particularly beetroot and leafy green veg so lets keep drinking our green juices!
She also reminded us that a healthy gut is very important for menopause and that we should eat a wide variety of foods to nourish our microbiome
Many ladies in our community found that their alcohol dependence began to worry them during menopause
Sarahs belief is that menopause brings up unresolved issues and says that in her own case it was anxiety and digestive issues
These get amplified so people may drink more to self medicate and cope.
She came up with the clever analogy that of the ground shifting under your house
If you’ve been papering over the cracks in your walls for years then the ground shifting would worsen until you could no longer avoid seeing them
Rather than stressing about this Sarah suggests that we reframe it as a GIFT – a second chance to deal with our stuff!
To contact Sarah go to her website which is https://thrivehomeopathy.com/
You can book a curiosity call to discover whether she can help you
She’s also on LinkedIn as Sarah Davison and on Facebook as https://www.facebook.com/NaturalMenopauseExpert
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Saturday Jul 01, 2023
How to Quit Drinking..and lose weight with Brad
Saturday Jul 01, 2023
Saturday Jul 01, 2023
My guest this week is Tribe member Brad who has struggled with his weight and his drinking. I love his story about how he heard about Tribe Sober when he was in the chemist picking up his meds!
In this episode:-
Brad's drinking story is tied up with his weight loss story and as we heard from the recent podcast with Adam Sheauble there is a crossover between the two addictions and how we deal with them
Brad had picked up a lot of weight in his 20’s and his psychologist and nutritionist both made a case for him to get a gastric bypass paid for by his medical aid
He lost the weight and was warned to be careful with alcohol as the food addiction could transfer to alcoholism.
Last week I interviewed Dr Vera Tarman who is an eating disorder specialist who tells us more about bariatric surgery and alcohol
Brad knew he was drinking too much so he took a year off and felt great – he even managed to have couple of drinks on special occasions during that year but didn’t go back to drinking regularly
At the end of that year Brad had a drink and basically he never stopped
He’d finished his MBA and felt there was a vacuum where his studies had been – a gap to be filled..
Contributing to this was the fact that he had left his corporate job after 18 years as he was trying to start his own business
So he started to fill this vacuum with booze
We have to be so careful not to leave a void when we quit drinking – we need to keep super busy at first so that there’s not much time to sit and think about drinking….
Then when we do start to make progress with our sobriety we need to find a hobby or interest to keep us engaged and keep our happy brain chemicals firing
For more on this listen to my interview with Dr Loretta Breuning – episode 55
So back to Brad who was filling the gap in his life with booze – which really got hold of him this time
He did try AA – 15 different groups and 40 meetings but he just ended up convinced that he wasn’t an alcoholic as he wasn’t as bad as the other guys
By the end of 2019 his partner had had enough and they broke up.
This led to him living in a tiny apartment without much furniture or any appliances and that’s when his drinking was at its worst
He was drinking spirits as well as litres of wine
In the midst of that he met his current partner and they both decided to stop drinking.
He managed a few months but succumbed to a bottle of whisky when house sitting for a friend
Brad started to drink in secret after that, his partner didn’t know about it
He tried the Sinclair method using Naltroxene but although Naltroxene blocks the buzz we get from alcohol Brad just drank more until he did get a buzz
February 2022 brought a couple of aha moments – his partners mom explained that her husband had thought he could outsmart the booze but he didn’t manage to do it
The second aha moment was when a psychiatrist refused to give him meds while he was drinking heavily
Said it would be like throwing a cup of tea on a forest fire!
He went back to the doctor who had put him on naltroxene and said he was going to completely quit rather than cut down and got some Antibuse which he took for 3 months… and it worked!
During the next 3-6 months Brad weaned himself off all of his medications
He focused on his work, his relationship, his health and he got a puppy….Benji
Benji is ageing alongside Brads sobriety so he gets called the sober doggy – a great idea I think!
Brad had a plan to have a drink on his first Soberversary but after about 7 months he realized that was not a way to celebrate
We agreed that alcohol gets far too much credit for the good times!
A lady he met in the chemist while he was getting his Antibuse recommended Tribe Sober to him
He loves being part of our Tribe and feels that the community chat keeps him forwarned about the pitfalls he could face
Brad is a great asset to our Tribe as he always had great advice to give to people who are new or are struggling
His advice to newbies is to track their drinking and figure out what its costing them…such an eye opener
Even if youre not ready to stop yet it will raise your awareness
Take a break for a month to test your dependence – you can sign up for a 30 day or a 66 day challenge with Tribe Sober
Just write to us at membership@tribesober.com and we’ll get your started!
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Saturday Jun 24, 2023
Why Alcohol is Sugar on Steroids...with Dr Vera Tarman
Saturday Jun 24, 2023
Saturday Jun 24, 2023
My guest this week is Dr Vera Tarman who is a specialist in addiction behaviour and treatment.
Dr. Vera is internationally recognized for her education in and publications on various areas of addiction and more specifically food addiction.
She’s had her own issues with alcohol but when she stopped drinking she started eating until her weight rose to 250lbs.. it was the eating addiction that “brought her down” as she puts it…
In this episode:-
Vera had a difficult childhood. Her mother was an alcoholic who died when Vera was just 15..and her relationship with her father was not good so she left home at 17
She was “floored” by the speed of her mother’s decline and vowed that she would never drink
However she did take drugs – she mentioned LSD and pot but also stresses that this was back in the 70’s when drugs were not as toxic as they are today
By the age of 19 she had switched from drugs to alcohol in spite of the vow she had made
Within a couple of years the alcohol had taken hold and she would always drink to get solidly drunk
She stopped drinking to get through college but when she stopped drinking..she started eating – and it was the food that “brought her down” as she puts it
Her eating had nothing to do with enjoyment – she was making herself numb, eating and purging..- she described it as “frantic” and with hindsight can see that her addiction to alcohol had simply transferred to her eating habits… there is so much sugar in alcohol of course
Dr Vera describes alcohol as sugar on steroids!
In her 20’s she was stuck in the dieting yo yo – losing the weight and then gaining it back - eventually gaining 100 pounds – she was bulimic
She reintroduced alcohol to her diet and tried to control it – as she says back then she had no idea of the peace of mind she could gain by ditching it altogether.
Steadily her weight increased to 240 lbs – she kept losing weight and regaining it and it wasn’t until her late 40’s that she had a breakthrough….
That was when she accepted that treat sugar was an addiction – she couldn’t have a little now and again, she would have to quit completely..
Over the course of the next few years she went on to lose 60 or 70 lbs
After the sugar she quit flour (bread muffins pizza etc) and lost another 80 lbs and finally she quit grains and lost the rest of her excess weight – never gaining it back
She describes losing the weight as a great relief as it had been making her miserable in so many ways and she never felt healthy or well
In fact these days she stresses that addicts mustn’t fear living a life of deprivation … you are living a life of deprivation now …so reach out and get help and find freedom
We talked about the fact that with alcoholism we can quit alcohol completely but obviously we have to eat some food – Vera made the very interesting point that she hasn’t quit food but she does quit food products – processed food
Vera’s approach of gradually shutting out various food groups is an interesting one – when I asked her what she DID eat she listed some of them – yoghourt, cheese, salmon, meat, vegetables
She spoke of her pleasure in eating these foods and doesn’t feel at all deprived…as she put it she doesn’t have to eat bread or sugar any more, she can enjoy real food instead – her palate has switched from craving sugar and carbs to appreciating healthy foods
Vera is not a cook but stresses that its quite easy to eat well – as an example yoghourt is easy to make and so are roasted veg
I explained that we give our community advice to eat fresh fruit rather than candy if they are craving sweet things in early sobriety
If you’d like more info on the science behind this advice then listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 31 from January 2021 to hear nutritionist Mary Ann Shearer
Vera described addiction as “a craving which leads to an obsession that then becomes difficult or impossible to stop”
We should ask ourselves “Am I obsessed with something that is affecting my life negatively?”
She explained how we can go from enjoying a gentle buzz to wanting a drink to needing a drink – needing more and more to get the same result…
Continual use of alcohol can “flatten” our dopamine receptors so we eventually need alcohol just to feel normal.
Dr Vera explained that some people get a more intense buzz of pleasure when they begin to drink and that…
If your dopamine receptors are naturally “flat” you may need something to feel ok
I asked Dr Vera how we can boost our dopamine naturally – before addiction our dopamine is “built in” – it’s about anticipation and looking forward to the next thing
We all have a natural curiosity that makes us want to try new things – that’s why we encourage Tribe members to get a project to keep the dopamine triggered
We agreed that social support was essential in early sobriety– we can’t just isolate and watch tv – we have to connect with others and keep that dopamine perking!
That’s why a project that connects you with other people works so well
We talked about using sugar and alcohol to numb our feelings and the fact that..
Junk food and alcohol will release endorphins which block pain and that’s why it can numb our feelings
Sleep – Vera says alcohol destroys our sleep structure and it can take as long as a year for normal sleep patterns to resume
We talked about menopause which Vera described as a storm of hormones (like being a teenager again) –
She also said that it’s a time when many women put on weight – they become very sensitive to carbohydrates and even if they were controlling their weight then they were younger it’s like a switch has been flipped….
We are more prone to weight gain when we hit menopause – especially if we are drinking!
We talked about bariatric surgery and the fact that many people do become addicted to alcohol when they have addressed their weight issue with this surgery
Vera explained that one glass of wine will be equivalent to 3 after this surgery so it’s not difficult to become dependent…
There are a lot of negative side effects to this surgery so it should only be used if the weight has become life threatening – far better to tackle the eating
We talked about the fact that alcohol is now linked to 7 different types of cancer and also Alzheimers – sugar and alcohol are are also linked to Alzheimers
Vera’s Advice is to accept that you have a condition, something has happened in your brain to cause this addiction – it’s not your fault – educate yourself – books, podcast – accept you’ll have to stop – whatever you’ve been trying hasn’t worked so get some help –
You heard her stressing the essential need to join a community so please check out Tribe Sober – we’ve got the tools and the group support to get you on track…. And more importantly to keep you on track – just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe
Vera wanted to stress that whatever the addiction there is hope…and in fact we both know so many people who have succeeded in overcoming both alcohol and food addiction
Learn more about Dr Vera via her:-
Book Food Junkies
Website addictionsunplugged.com
Facebook Group "I am sweet enough, sugar free for life"
Also Food Junkies podcast
You Tube Channel is Vera Tarman
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Saturday Jun 17, 2023
Breaking Free from the Booze!
Saturday Jun 17, 2023
Saturday Jun 17, 2023
This weeks podcast is a solo episode from Tribe Sober's founder Janet Gourand. We've launched a brand new program to help people who a ready to Break Free from the Booze
In this episode
Are you fed up of being trapped in the Groundhog Day of Daily Drinking?
Many of us drink socially in our 20's and 30's and then it becomes problematic in our 40's and 50's
20% of social drinkers will become dependent over the years.... it's the science
We looked at some warning signs of alcohol dependence:-Not being able to keep within the low risk limits - a bottle and a half of wine a weekDrinking alone or Drinking and DrivingBlackouts!Waking up at 3am feeling anxiousDrinking more to get the same effectWhen all social activities involve alcoholYou drink for the buzzYou've tried (and failed) to drink less many many times
We get to the stage where we know we are drinking too much but have no idea HOW to stop
We feel trapped and we know we have to break free
We've designed a program to help you break free from the booze..
Sobriety will give you a new lease of life, improve your physical and mental health, less anxiety, better relationships, better sleep, better skin and sparkly eyes, weightloss, personal growth and finding your purpose
BREAKING FREE PROGRAM
I've collated all the contacts, resources and learnings from 7+ years of running Tribe Sober into one package
It's a world class program which is exactly what I needed when I quit drinking
After seeing so many people change their lives over the years we've realised that Tribe Sober is so much more than a membership, or a challenge, or a course or a coaching program - it's a place of transformation
So we're inviting you into our place of transformation
Breaking Free is for you if you are ready to put yourself first and invest money, time and attention
Breaking Free is not for you if you are not ready to put yourself first....or maybe you're just not ready
Are you going to take the Sober Road.... or stay stuck in Drinking Alley - check out this article.
"Faith is taking the first step on the staircase even if you're not sure where it's going" - Martin Luther King
Have faith in us to guide you up that staircase as we know the destination is well worth the effort
The "staircase" is a hybrid recovery model, taking the best elements from the Tribe Sober offerings and combining them to create a powerful and effective program - let me describe the components
COMPONENT ONE - community support with the Tribe Sober community
COMPONENT TWO - a four hour group workshop on Zoom
COMPONENT THREE - Kickstart online course
COMPONENT FOUR - personal support - 2 Zoom calls with Janet and 3 coaching sessions with
For more information just go to this link.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Saturday Jun 10, 2023
From Junkie to Judge with Mary Beth O’Connor
Saturday Jun 10, 2023
Saturday Jun 10, 2023
My guest this week is an extraordinary woman – she was drinking alcohol at the age of 12 and shooting up with meths at the age of 17. Not only did she get clean but she went on to qualify as a lawyer and eventually she was appointed a federal judge!In this episode:-
Mary Beth has a traumatic childhood which included an abusive stepfather
She felt instant relief when she picked up her first alcoholic drink at the age of 12
While still at school she was smoking pot, taking pills and acid and by 17 was shooting up meths
In spite of this hectic drug use she managed to get accepted at college
She was at college and working part time when everything fell apart – due to the combination of a life threatening rape and an abusive boyfriend
Mary Beth used meths for the next decade, not getting clean until the age of 32
During this decade she was working her way “down” the corporate ladder as she puts it
Due to her drug use she was working in jobs way below her ability
She hit rock bottom when she lost yet another job and couldn’t raise the energy to put together her resume to get another one
Her partying days were long gone and most of her drug use took place when she was alone….at the kitchen table
She had tried some therapy but as she puts it “the drugs had put a wall between me and myself” so therapy was ineffective.
Her partner was also threatening to leave her so she decided to go to rehab
The rehab was based on the 12 steps and was not a good fit for Mary Beth – she was an atheist and certainly wouldn’t agree that she was powerless
Whenever she raised her objections to any of the 12 steps she was closed down and told that this was the only way she could recover
As a result she kept quiet and became very selective in the ideas that she took on board.
She became master of the reframe so instead of Step One which is I am powerless over my addiction she would agree that she was powerless to moderate.
So many of us spend years stuck in the “moderation trap” so accepting that we are powerless to moderate will save a lot of heartache, it’s a major step forward!I referred to the podcast interview I did with British journalist Sam Delaney who built his own hybrid recovery model. That podcast was episode 153
Exactly what Mary Beth did…and in fact what she recommends to others
I loved what she said about recovery being hard but it gets easier… whereas active addiction is much harder and can last forever!
We agreed that this journey is about progress not perfection and that very few people get is right from day one – Mary Beth certainly had a couple of slip ups during the early months
Of course the secret is to keep trying, to remember that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
Mark up your Sober Stretches and never question the decision. If you’d like a copy of our Annual Tracker just email membership@tribesober.com and we’ll send you one
Early sobriety was an emotional rollercoaster for Mary Beth and it was a couple of years before she felt stable
She had trauma to deal with, severe anxiety and PTSD
If 2 years seems a long time then remember the rule that it takes a month of recovery for every year that we drank – for more on that go Tribe Sober episode 61 – there you’ll find my interview with rehab doctor Dr Dawn
In spite of the long road to recovery Mary Beth began to get her career back on track within a few months
She started with a part time admin job, then a higher level full time admin role and then a supervisory role
At six and a half years sober she was accepted back into Berkeley Law School.
She went on to work as a lawyer in a big law firm and in 2014 was appointed a Judge.
She took early retirement in 2020 and these days she gives her time to advocacy in the recovery space.
As she says we need to be patient – everybody expects recovery to be faster than it is but we need to remember that:-
Just as addiction rewires our brains in a negative way the positive habits we build in recovery will build new pathways.
Mary Beth’s book is called from Junkie to Judge and is available from AmazonThe book is a memoir which includes guidelines as well as some advice for families.
Please follow Mary Beth on TW – I’ll put her handle in the shownotes but its @MaryBethO_
Her TW feed is great and packed with useful info
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Saturday Jun 03, 2023
Busting Sobriety Myths with Eusebius
Saturday Jun 03, 2023
Saturday Jun 03, 2023
I’m recording this a couple of hours after hearing the appalling news that Eusebius McKaiser has died at the ridiculously young age of 44.
He was a national treasure for South Africans – an author, a journalist and broadcaster. One of the smartest public intellects in the country he was a fierce defender of truth and justice as many politicians found out to their cost!
He was also a warm and generous friend.So instead of the planned episode I wanted to say a few words about my friend Eusebius and re-release one of the podcast interviews he did for Tribe Sober.
The story starts back in 2001 when I relocated from the UK to SA. I started to watch national tv, trying to get my bearings in this beautiful and complex country. I spotted Eusebius on a talk show and was impressed. I read a couple of his books and listened to him on the radio. I discovered he’d been to Oxford University on a scholarship and had won a global award as a Debating Champion.
I first met him in person more than a decade ago…
Ironically I was drunk at the time!
We were at the Franschhoek Literary Festival where I’d been drinking wine most of the day. This didn’t stop me dragging Long Suffering Husband to the Elephant and Barrel Pub in the evening.
I spotted Eusebius in the bar. He was with deep in conversation and I didn’t want to interrupt.
However husband knew I was a fan and he nudged me towards him – not quite sure what Eusebius thought about this drunken Brit lurching at him but he was very kind.
For obvious reasons I don’t remember much about that conversation but that was the evening that our unlikely but enduring friendship was born.
I finally ditched the booze in 2015 and set up Tribe Sober. Eusebius signed up for our Dry January Challenge and one of the mailers included my Goodbye to Alcohol letter – he asked me to come to Cape Talk and read it out on his Show.
So I did and we got plenty of calls from people who knew they needed to say Goodbye to Alcohol. I’ll put a link to that radio program in the shownotes.
Apart from reading my letter we raised more than R10,000 for Earthchild within 30 minutes. Just like me he loved the work done by NGO Earthchild and for the last 8 years he helped me to fundraise more than R300,000 which enabled more than 1000 underprivileged children to get a year of yoga and lifeskill classes.
I then became a regular on his show and many of our current and past members found us via Eusebius. He loved the work we did at Tribe Sober and often promoted us on his social media.
He came to two of our workshops in Joburg. The first one as a participant and the second one as my co-facilitator.
We looked out for each other - he coached me to be a better speaker on the radio and I convinced him to start his own podcast when he left Cape Talk.
Have a listen to this episode we recorded about 18 months ago
In this Episode
The sober curious movement is growing – we have an endless variety of AF drinks, many online sobriety groups and even our own magazine Hola Sober.
Eusebius believes that people should be free to make “bad choices” in life but did agree with me that education is important. Alcohol is a legal drunk which damages our health and drinkers need to be aware of that.
When tobacco advertising was banned the information about the link with lung cancer was all over the media – if alcohol advertising was banned we would hear a lot more in the media about the link between alcohol and 7 different types of cancer.
Women need to know that drinking more than 3 glasses of wine a week will raise their breast cancer risk by 15%
We tackled a couple of sobriety myths – first of all the myth that we can’t have fun without alcohol – the truth is that once you have navigated those early difficult months of sobriety then it’s easy to have fun without booze – and lovely not to have to pay the price of a hangover the next day! Our subconscious minds have been convinced by a combination of marketing and peer pressure that we need alcohol to enjoy ourselves – to deprogram this thinking we need to spend a few months socialising without alcohol – its not easy but treat it as a challenge and you will get there – your subconscious will eventually get it!
The second myth we busted was the myth that we need the buzz of booze to be creative – Eusebius wrote some of his early essays when on his way down from heavy drinking sessions but feels he has done some of his best writing since he’s been sober.
We talked about the social pressure to drink which is relentless and hard to cope with when we are in the early stages of sobriety – alcohol really is the only drug we have to justify NOT taking
That’s why CHALLENGES are so great – especially our January Challenge – we can just say “I’m raising money for charity by doing a Dry January” – nobody can really argue with that one!
We get more confident dealing with peer pressure to drink as time goes by and eventually many of us are proud of our sobriety and eager to talk about it!
Eusebius always maintains that it’s not our responsibility to make other people feel comfortable about their drinking and is quite happy to be rude to people who interrogate him about his sobriety!
We talked about dependency and I explained that I didn’t even realise what trouble I was in until I tried to cut down – and couldn’t.
That’s another reason challenges are great – its an opportunity to test your dependency – if you can get through a month without booze easily then you are fine – if not then you may need to make some changes!
Do a challenge at least twice a year to keep your eye on your level of dependence.
A challenge is also useful if you want to cut down your drinking – low risk levels are just one and a half bottles of wine a week (or 6 beers) – so do a challenge, have a month off the booze and then it will be easier to reset your drinking pattern.
Eusebius stressed that the Earthchild project helps children to find a moment of peace in their difficult lives. Yoga may be perceived as a middle class pastime but in fact the postures and the breathing bring a sense of calm to children who grow up surrounded by gang violence and poverty.
We concluded with a few tips and benefits of sobriety:-
Eusebius main benefit which he wasn’t even expecting has been the time he has regained now he no longer drinks – he loves getting up early at the weekend and getting on with his day
His tip was to stock up on AF drinks – Dry January Challengers get a discount from DN.co.za
My benefit was sleep – as drinkers we get only 2 cycles of REM sleep (we need 7) – over the years we build up a permanent sense of fatigue if we drink – even a month off the booze will boost our energy levels
My tip was to find your people – its very hard to change your drinking alone so join tribe sober!
So I do hope we have inspired you to sign up for the January Challenge
If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members.
More info
Subscription membership for Tribe Sober join up HERE
To access our website click HERE
If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email janet@tribesober.com
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@tribesober.com
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE
Help us to spread the word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
You can join our private Facebook group HERE
PS How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)
1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field.
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Saturday May 27, 2023
Your Sobriety Battleplan with Adam Shaeuble
Saturday May 27, 2023
Saturday May 27, 2023
I got hooked on podcasting quite early on as I’ve been lucky enough to have some great guests and I’ve learned so much from them. Many of our members have been kind enough to inspire others by sharing their stories on the podcast and as a result we’ve attracted new members from all over the world.
So staying with podcasting my guest this week is Podcast Business Coach and Weight Loss Guru - Adam Schaeuble.
His story is similar to mine in that he resolved his own issues and then went on to help others to do the same. Adams problems were about food rather than alcohol so have a listen to his story.
In this Episode
Adam shared his personal transformation story with us
We agreed that many of the methods he uses to help his community can be used in the Tribe Sober community
The first step - asking for help - is the hardest - we have to put our ego to one side and reach out
Adam uses a strategic approach with his clients - gets them to plan 28 days in advance and look for "danger zones"
We discussed the importance of not letting a "slip up" derail you - just get back on track straight away
Anchor points are essential - they give you a dopamine hit to keep going forward - at TS we have milestone badges!
Adam explained the difference between motivation and inspiration - we need to be inspired if we are going to succeed
If you don't feel inspired then get some coaching - if you come to the coaching session "motivated" you will leave "inspired"
He shared his transformation timeline with us - and stressed the importance of finding a new purpose at the end of the journey
That’s exactly what our amazing coach Lynette has been doing with 10 of our Tribe members – guiding them along the Path to Purpose via her group coaching program.
We’ve taken some of Adam’s great ideas and created a Sobriety Battleplan so if you’d like a copy just email membership@tribesober.com and Sue will send you one.
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
to join our mailing list click HERE
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Saturday May 20, 2023
Taking the Sober Road... 8 Mistakes to Avoid
Saturday May 20, 2023
Saturday May 20, 2023
This is a solo episode to celebrate my 8th Soberversary - I'm focussing on 8 mistakes to avoid Mistakes I made myself and larned from.
In this episode:-
Mistake number 1 - Waiting for Rock Bottom
TIP NUMBER ONE: Do it now! If you’re listening to this then the chances are that you are either already alcohol free (well done you!) or you are contemplating making a change. If you are in the contemplation phase then you should know that the average time people spend in that place is an incredible 11 years! Alcohol dependence is like an elevator and it’s only going down. The longer you leave it the worse it will get so Do it Now!
Mistake number 2 - Trying to Moderate
TIP NUMBER TWO – Forget Moderation! People who can moderate just do it naturally – they wouldn’t be listening to this podcast. They might have a glass of champagne at a wedding or a glass of red wine with a special meal but alcohol is not really on their radar. I’m guessing that’s probably not you (!) so redirect that energy you put into controlling an addictive drug into building an alcohol free life that you love!
Mistake number 3 - Fearing failure
TIP NUMBER THREE – Progress not Perfection should be your strategy. Drop me an email janet@tribesober.com and ask for one of our trackers and log those alcohol free days. If you have a slip up then learn from it and get right back on track. Remember that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. You’ve only failed if you stop trying!
Mistake number 4 - Worrying about other people
TIP NUMBER FOUR - Find a new Tribe
In our alcohol drenched society it can be hard to be the odd one out, especially if you are an introvert as many problem drinkers tend to be. So for the first few months at least join a new tribe – a sober community of people just like you. You will be blown away by the warmth, vulnerability you will find. Read some quitlit and listen to recovery stories on podcasts as well.
Mistake number 5 - Being influenced by marketing, movies etc..
TIP NUMBER FIVE
Reflect on the limiting beliefs you hold about alcohol. Examples of limiting beliefs are… I need alcohol to have fun, to socialise, to relax, to de-stress, to reward myself for a difficult day, to celebrate a good day…the list goes on. Work on overturning those limiting beliefs and see alcohol for what it really is – a poison which is linked to 7 cancers and 60+ diseases. Read Annie Grace’s book This Naked Mind for more on this or come to one of our workshops.
Mistake number 6 - Waiting for happiness to strike..
TIP NUMBER SIX
Be aware that your brain is still recalibrating and healing as your natural dopamine receptors crank up again (they’ve got lazy as the wine has been doing their job for so long!)
When you quit drinking you can’t just leave everything the same except for the drinking - you’ll need to reconfigure your life/routine and get new interests
Recovery is about so much more than “not drinking” - that’s just the start… After guiding hundreds of our members through this journey we’ve noticed that it takes about 6 months to change the habit and then another 6 months to “do the work”, and learn how to thrive in sobriety.
Most importantly get a new interest/hobby to keep your happy brain chemicals triggers – go to meetup.com to see the many interests that people have…and go to udemy.com to find a course to sign up for.
Mistake number 7 - Being depressed about quitting –
TIP NUMBER 7
Get excited about this life changing opportunity. You are going to look better, feel better, sleep better and be full of energy.
Just take a look at some of the testimonials on our website if you’re not convinced!
Realise that you’ll be gaining so much more than you will lose!
Realise that addiction is a gift - as Laura K says in her book title we really are the luckiest - only people who have become dependent are pushed right to the wall and forced to question who they really are and what they really want out of life
Quitting is an opportunity – not a problem
Mistake number 8 - Trying to do it alone
TIP NUMBER 8
Find your people! When I got sober 8 years ago AA was pretty much the only gig in town, and AA is not for everybody. These days there are so many alternative paths to sobriety. There is a modern recovery movement as more and more people wake up and decide to fight back against Big Alcohol. We are the trailblazers and have decided to no longer poison our bodies and brains to contribute to the outrageous profits of the liquor industry.
It does take courage and confidence to do this but we’ve got plenty of that… and we’ve decided to become rebels rather than sheep!
There are sober communities on Instagram and TikTok as it becomes cool to run your back on alcohol.
So go on line and explore – find your people.
We’d love you to join tribesober which you can do by clicking this link
You can pay your subs monthly so try us out for a while – its easy to cancel if you decide that were not your people after all!
You can also join our free 5 day Sobriety Bootcamp which will give you a flavour of the support we offer…
From 5-9th June
Info on website or just request to join the Sobriety Bootcamp Facebook Group
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
to join our mailing list click HERE
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Saturday May 13, 2023
The 4 Stages of Alcoholism with Vanessa Hilton-Barber
Saturday May 13, 2023
Saturday May 13, 2023
Vanessa is a writer, photographer and wild water swimmer.
Like so many of us she began drinking in her teens. That was the beginning of a habit that started off as fun but evolved into something much darker over the years.
In this episode
Vanessa divides her drinking career into phases:-the Fun phase (15-19)the Social phase (19-30)the Fairly Desperate phase (30-39)
the I Need to Quit phase (39 onwards)
This pattern fits pretty well with the theory that 20 years of regular drinking will result in alcohol dependence
If you’d like to hear the science behind that theory then have a listen to my interview with Ken Middleton – episode 23 of Tribe Sober podcast – November 2020
Vanessa tried to moderate and did manage to cut down for periods.
However she was still binge drinking now and again so the dependence was still there.
Along with her moderation attempts of course she had some rules
She started a rule when she was at University and kept it going ever since. It was the 3 day rule. She would never drink more than 3 days in a row.
However she realises now that her 3 day rule actually kept her in a cycle of drinking and then withdrawal.
Here in South Africa there is a culture of binge drinking at the weekend
Vanessa explained that in her office they used to refer to Thursdays as "Steak Knife Thursdays" as everyone was “on edge” waiting to start drinking.
It was Covid that opened Vanessa’s eyes to the nation's love affair with alcohol.
Several alcohol bans meant that many people had to be creative about sourcing their alcohol.
She describes the moment during Covid when she had just a tot of whisky but it released such a strong craving that it made her realise she would have to make a change.
Vanessa discovered Tribe Sober and loved the support of the international community.
She did Dry July and loved watching the alcohol free days stack up on her tracker.
As she learned more about the harm that alcohol does she felt more and more motivated to go alcohol free.
So she did Sober October but still had periods of binge drinking.
At the beginning of 2021 Vanessa decided to try coaching – as a member of Tribe Sober she had been offered a free coaching session so decided to take it up.
She loved her coaching sessions with Lynette and by session 2 she had ditched the booze completely
We agreed that Lynette’s philosophy that we must get “comfortable with being uncomfortable” is a powerful one
By riding the discomfort and pushing through we will experience emotional growth and grow new neural pathways
One of the goals that Vanessa set during an early coaching session was that when she reached her first Soberversary she would share the strategies that had enabled her to quit.
That’s how her stunning book was born…TOTS which stands for the Other Twelve Steps
It is full of gorgeous illustrations which came from the doodles she would make during her coaching sessions – doodles she would develop further as she reflected on her learnings
She calls TOTS a string of sparkling gems and I couldn’t agree more
If you’d like a digital copy of TOTs just email membership@tribesober.com and we’ll send you a copy
In TOT’s you will find a description of the Hero’s journey along with its transformative challenges
Just like the hero we may stumble and fall on our journey but if we keep trying we will succeed
Our reward will be the gift of elixirs which will enable us to help others to do what we’ve done
Vanessa also refers to the book "The Artists Way" by Julia Cameron in TOTs
We agreed that this book can be the key to unlocking our creativity and doing our daily morning pages can be a life changing habit
Vanessa described the benefits of alcohol free living as exponential but a huge one for her has been the energy
Now she no longer has to try to control her drinking and manage the after effects she has so much more energy and mental strength
This made me think of my interview with William Krause two episodes ago… when he said that redirecting that energy we wasted on controlling alcohol is the key to unlocking the life of our dreams
Vanessa referred to her coaching sessions as the key – I love the way she describes the power of coaching – she says it’s about “having someone in your story with you”.
If you’d like to connect directly with Vanessa then you can email her Vanessa@contentarchitect.co.za and
If you’d like to experience the power of coaching then join tribe sober – new members are entitled to a coaching session with Lynette
Just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
to join our mailing list click HERE
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Saturday May 06, 2023
Recovering Attorney Lily Shanks
Saturday May 06, 2023
Saturday May 06, 2023
My guest this week is Lily Shanks from Dallas.
Lily describes herself as a recovering attorney.
After graduating from a top tier-law school, Lily practiced commercial litigation in a Big Law firm but although she was able to indulge her passion for expensive cars and shoes the stress resulted in a daily wine habit.
She got sober and left her corporate job to train as a coach.
These days Lily specializes in recovery and relationship coaching and coaches her clients to create their best, most fulfilling lives, starting from the inside.
In this episode
Lily discovered alcohol at a young age – via the liquor cabinet of one of her friends parents. It tasted disgusting but she knew it would change the way she felt…so she persevered and found ways to disguise the taste
As a shy teenager who wanted to be popular she found that alcohol gave her the liquid courage she needed
She was the only child of older parents she felt she had to be perfect… to do everything right..
Lily also felt she had to be independent and not ask for help
These two beliefs led to a feeling of loneliness – a feeling that continued as she grew older
The loneliness was a feeling that would last until she got into recovery and learnt how better to connect with people – when she learned that connection was the opposite of addiction
As a straight A student Lily would worry about the possibility of getting a B
Her drive for perfectionism helped her to graduate, get through law school and get a highly paid job at a top firm
However she was always chasing the next thing, the next box to be ticked – buying a new car and more shoes even though she didn’t need either – she thought it would make her feel better which it did but only for a very short time
She was doing the same with alcohol – drinking more and more in the hope that it would make her feel better but of course as it’s a depressant it only made her feel worse.
Like many of us Lily was under the illusion that alcohol was glamorous and fun and cool..until one day it wasn’t.
As early as 5 years into her legal career Lily started to sense a misalignment.. she wasn’t feeling fulfilled in her job and thought that the alcohol was helping to ease this uncomfortable feeling
She took a years sabbatical and got her yoga teaching qualification and taught full time which she really enjoyed
Yoga had helped her cope with her stress and she loved the fact that she was able to share that with her students
Eventually Lily felt under financial strain so she returned to practicing law – (yet her finances always ran to buying wine!)
She was using wine at the end of the day to self medicate her stress and eventually she could feel it affecting her work performance – some days she struggled to get to work as she was battling a severe hangover
Like many of us Lily became an expert in disguising her drinking problem – so much so that former colleagues and friends were surprised to hear she’s in recovery
Like many of us she did a lot of her drinking alone on the sofa at home
In Jan 2018 she tried to take a break for Dry January but couldn’t notch up more than a few alcohol free days…and she always intended to go back to drinking at the end of the month
Doing a challenge like Dry January is when a lot of people realise for the first time that they are dependent
When you join Tribe Sober the first thing we do is put you on a 30 day alcohol free challenge so that we can help you to assess your level of dependence and what kind of help you need
Short challenges are great to test your dependence but the true benefits of sobriety don’t come in until you’ve been alcohol free for a few months so it’s important to push through and keep going
Like most of us Lily imposed some rules around her drinking as she tried to moderate – yet of course after 2 or 3 drinks there was no off switch
She finally ended her drinking career in 2018 – finishing it with a few months of intentional heavy drinking before accepting that she would have to make the change
She had a series of rock bottoms - including a ladies wine tasting trip and a weekend drinking alone in her apartment
She also felt mortified when she saw several recordings on a security camera of her arriving home very late at night obviously the worse for wear
Waking up hungover every morning she finally accepted that she needed help
She took some time off work and started being honest about the problem… with a friend, with a doctor and with her therapist
The key to change is honesty – we have to accept to ourselves that we have a problem and then reach out for help – this is the most difficult part of the whole journey
Once we’ve reached out and found some help the journey can begin
If you’re still procrastinating about getting some help then do it today – reach out to tribesober.com and we’ll help you get started on this life changing journey – just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe
As Lily said we have to be ready to keep an open mind and try something different
She had been resistant to the idea of AA but managed to find a small group that she loved - near to where she lived
She found the connection she had been looking for – people who were sharing stories just like hers
That’s such a special moment - the moment we realise we are not alone in this
Lily's experience shows the importance of keeping an open mind – we agreed on the strategy to keep trying different groups until you find "your people"
She talked about the importance of Sober Firsts and how she tackled them gradually during her first year of sobriety
She also stopped dating as she wanted to focus on herself rather than looking for a partner to make her feel good
As she said going a year without drinking was a huge change for her so it had to be her primary focus
At Tribe Sober we advise people to throw the book at their sobriety and treat it as a major project for that first year
So Lily's first year was spent notching up Sober Firsts, appreciating the benefits of sobriety as they came in… it was only in year two that she began to do the deeper work
We agreed that Year one is just the beginning of the journey and that there is so much more to recovery than not drinking
If you take a listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 61 from September 2021 you will hear a rehab doctor explaining that for every year we drank we should allow a month of recovery
So if like me you’ve been drinking for decades your recovery will not be quick but you will be noticing more and more benefits of sobriety as the months pass
We both agreed that life doesn’t become perfect when we get sober but we’ll be better able to cope with challenges
Personal growth will come from dealing with difficulties – as Lily said “if it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you”
Lily is now a life coach, a sobriety coach and a relationship coach – you can connect with her on myinternalweather.com - or email her lily@myinternalweather.com
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
to join our mailing list click HERE
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).






