Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

How Drinking Limits your Potential ...with Ken M Middleton

My guest this week is Ken Middleton
I first connected with Ken a couple of years ago after discovering his brilliant articles.
He was first a guest on this podcast back in 2020 and we’ve been friends ever since
We have a shared passion to highlight the drawbacks of drinking and the joys of sobriety.
As a firm fan of his articles I was delighted to hear that he was going to publish a book.
He involved me in the development of the manuscript and has even included my story!
The book is called Bamboozled and is published TODAY
In fact I have a message for you from Ken – he says buy the the book today (April 1st) and you’ll find an April Fools day surprise – a nice one!
The book is available on Amazon so go check it out while you are listening
The subtitle of Bamboozled is “How Alcohol Made Fools of Us All” and it’s a great read.  After doing this work for 7 years I know a lot about the subject but even I learned a lot from this book
In this episode
Unlike myself and many of my podcast guests Ken didn’t come to sobriety from a place of addiction – he came from a place of curiosity.
He wanted to see how he felt without alcohol
He was always a high performer in his sales job but knew that he wasn’t always operating at 100%
As he settled into his sobriety his performance at work shot up by 30%
He came to the conclusion that alcohol drastically reduces our potential
Ken talked about the compounding effects – for example when we drink we only get two cycles of REM when we need about 7
Drinking regularly means the fatigue will build up and up over the years
I can really identify with this – when I hit 60 I felt tired all the time but resigned myself to the fact that this is what aging felt like
Seven years of sobriety has changed everything for me and I wake up full of energy
My exhaustion was nothing to do with my age but everything to do with my alcohol consumption
We talked about comparisons and how dangerous it was to compare ourselves with hard core alcoholics – so we end up feeling that we were not “that bad”
Of course the comparison we should be making is with the best version of ourselves we could be
So the question to ask is not Am I an Alcoholic?  -  rather askAm I living my best life?
Ken explained that functioning alcoholics are the ones with the most to gain from ditching the booze
They have been expending huge amounts of energy just keeping the show on the road
I know I did – performing well at work, managing family and a social life is not easy when you’re feeling anxious and worried about your drinking problem that you are too ashamed to talk about
Ken summarises the science of alcohol dependency in detail in an article I will put in the shownotes but here are the key moments:-
Alcohol spikes our endorphins
Our brain likes to stay balanced – in a state of homeostasis so releases dynorphins to dampen down those endorphin spikes
The dynorphin level then outweighs the level of endorphins (as our brain wants to get back to homeostasis asap)
That’s why we get that dip about 20 minutes after our first drink… our buzz starts to fade so of course we reach for another drink to compensate which results in more dynorphins released…. And so it goes on
As many of us know as time goes by we need more alcohol to get the same feeling, the same buzz
So far so good but our body is smart and it adapts to our behaviour and this is the dangerous bit..
Our subconscious will begin to associate everything we do leading up to the drinking as a pleasurable experience – and learn..
So when we are driving home from work we are already anticipating opening that bottle of wine so the dynorphins will be released IN ADVANCE
Making us feel low and craving the alcohol
And the really scary bit is that drinking consistently over time will result in us not being able to enjoy things WITHOUT IT
Our brain will have rewired so it can no longer produce dopamine on its own
That’s why early sobriety is so hard – our brain has not yet re-calibrated to trigger our happy brain chemicals naturally and without our chemically induced alcohol high we feel very flat – if you are at the at stage please hang in there
Listen to my podcast interview with Dr Loretta Breuning – episode 55, how to combat those early sobriety blues
Ken made the very good point that if we’re reluctant to ditch the booze we can just carry on drinking but listen and learn and you’ll soon start joining up the dots and realising…
WHY you wake up at 3am feeling anxious
WHY you’re constantly tired and depressed
WHY you’re gaining weight and sleeping badly
Once you understand what’s causing these things and realise that you don’t HAVE to keep suffering your desire to drink will diminish
Reading Kens book Bamboozled is a great place to start with your education about alcohol
His goal in writing this has been to help people realise the what they are losing out on when they drink – even if they are not dependent
Alcohol will always prevent us from reaching our potential
In the book he talks about how we are manipulated to drink by marketing and societal norms
The liquor industry grooms us from our teenage years – they want to capture us as lifelong customers
I loved his use of stories in the book – alcohol parables as he calls them – he compares the lives of two people on similar tracks – one of those decides to quit drinking and the other carries on – their futures turn out very differently
Again emphasising his point that alcohol will prevent us from reaching our potential
He says that nobody should be drinking alcohol after the age of 40 as the damage it does will increase exponentially
We have less water in our bodies to dilute the effects of alcohol
You can learn more about this and many other facts in Kens book
So why not pop onto Amazon and order your copy of Bamboozled right now – you’re going to get a very nice April Fools surpise but only if you put in an order TODAY
You can also follow Ken on Medium where he publishes regular articles like this one and he has his own newsletter called Ainyf (Alcohol is Not Your Friend) 
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
to join our mailing list click HERE 
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Why Sobriety is only the Beginning... with Gregg Champion

My guest this week is Gregg Champion
Gregg has been in recovery for over 20 years after nearly ruining his life with drugs and alcohol.
These days he’s a Recovery Coach and a highly valued member of the Recovery Community in California.  7 years ago he founded Start Up Recovery which is a transitional living facility built on his own values as well as lessons learned during his own recovery.
In this episode
You heard Gregg say that he was an alcoholic before he picked up his first drink – that’s a very interesting statement which would apply to many drinkers with unresolved childhood trauma
Greggs father was killed in a car crash when he was four which left him feeling angry and abandoned
As he grew older he became addicted to anger, fantasy and attention
That all changed when he took his first drink as a young teenager, a drink that soothed him and took the pain away
At 15 years old he was crossing the border into Mexico to drink in bars and chat up girls – he just wanted to be a grown up
Gregg chose to study at Arizona State University as it was known to be a party university
Alcohol and Drugs were always present during his College years but it was normalised and as Gregg says there were always people “worse than me – doing more booze, more drugs”
These comparisons are so dangerous – why do we always compare ourselves with people who are in worse trouble - when we should be comparing our ourselves to who we could be if we were leading our best life
Even if alcohol doesn’t destroy us it will always prevent us from reaching our potential
Gregg topped off his University years by getting his first DUI on Graduation Night…
That set the tone for the following 2 years when we was arrested 7 times!
He went from overnight stays in prison to 2 night stays and finally the prospect of a 5 years sentence.
Gregg got a job in broadcasting which involved shift work ending at 3am which meant he was mixing with other users after work
He got into a cycle of selling drugs and then over-using and over-drinking to overcome the shame of being a drug dealer!
He got busted at an airport carrying drugs – the judge told him that if he saw him again he would be activating his 5 year suspended sentence.
Gregg partied on regardless but got busted a second time by an undercover cop at a party
Back in a jail cell he heard a voice telling him to call his mother – which he did
She told him to go to church so he went, he went to confession and told the priest everything
He finally realised that Greggs Way was never going to work so he listened to the priest and went to an AA meeting
It was his moment of truth – the time he had to decide between two paths
He chose sobriety and his AA sponsor told him to take boxing lessons – he would need a punchbag for all the anger which would emerge in early sobriety!
Gregg did 90 meetings in 90 days – as he said when we stop using there is a great gaping hole in our life that we need to fill with something
We can fill it with 90 meetings and follow the 12 steps or
We can join a sobriety community – go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe if you’d like to check out our membership program
As Gregg says we have to find our Sober Tribe
He stayed sober for 3 years by using the first 3 steps but couldn’t bring himself to open the Pandoras box of step 4
One day he listened to a speaker at the AA meeting and the things he heard really resonated with him
The guy had been sexually abused at a young age and Gregg was able to finally admit to himself that this had happened to him as well
Gregg began to work with this person who told him that he was blocked because although he had sobriety he hadn’t got recovery
It’s so true that there is so much more to recovery than not drinking!
I loved the expression that Gregg used:-“Not Drinking is the ticket to the Show, the Band hasn’t even started playing yet!”
So his new sponsor used a process called Uncover/Discover and Discard which you heard Gregg describing during the interview
Applying this framework to all 19 things on Greggs “shame” list liberated him
He now uses this process with his own clients and calls it "Unpacking the Backpack of Shame"
In 2016 Greggs media career was stalling so he began to look at alternatives
All he wanted to do was to be paid for being himself
Sharing his story at an AA meeting one day he met a lady who told him he would be a great group facilitator
This encouraged him to put together a talk and visiting rehabs to share tell his story
He trained as a recovery coach and used his experience to put together a coaching curriculum
7 years ago his coaching business evolved into a Transitional Living Facility 
They do 1.2.1 and group coaching to address that all important question “I’m Sober Now What?”
He has a Wellness Director facilitating practices like breathwork, acupuncture and soundbaths
Each client has a therapist 
Of course Community is at the heart of everything and every day starts and ends with a meeting
You can find out more about Gregg by going to his website which is startuprecovery.com and he is on social media 
Instagram link is here - Twitter is here 
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
to join our mailing list click HERE 
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
 
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

Benefits of Sobriety - with Anele Ndlovu

My guest this week is a young South African woman who is focused on mental health advocacy.
Tribe member Anele Ndlovu has been through a journey with her own mental health when she turned to alcohol for solace. 
She’s the Founder of an initiative called “Tea with Anele Ndlovu” which focuses on women’s empowerment and leadership.
Anele is a member of Tribe Sober and recently celebrated her six month soberversary!
In the episode
Like many of us Anele discovered alcohol when she went to Varsity but it was very much a social thing
It was all under control during her 20s and early 30’s – only in her late 30s did it become a problem
We heard a similar story from last weeks guest Sam Delany 
That got me thinking about one of my favourite articles by Ken Middleton who explains the science behind alcohol dependence
If we drink regularly then over the period of a couple of decades we will move from liking alcohol, to wanting alcohol and finally to needing alcohol.
So that explains why some people can drink happily throughout their twenties and most of their thirties but then it switches from a social lubricant to self medication
So back to Anele who got retrenched in June 2020 – this was a real blow for her as she loved her career and her identity was very much tied to her job.
She felt lost and found herself using alcohol to numb her pain even though she was well aware that this was a red flag of alcohol dependence.
Like so many of us Anele began to try to control her drinking – setting rules – rules about not having alcohol in the house – which worked until about 5pm when she started getting fidgety so went out to buy some!
Her family were worried about her drinking so she found herself hiding it
She would tell then she was going for a walk and then find herself sitting in a bar
Or going to the liquor store and then sitting in the part with her drink
Getting home from these walks she would shower and go to sleep
Of course her family knew what was going on but had no idea how to help
Anele also tried hanging out with “Moderation Mary” as we call her in Tribe Sober but obviously that didn’t work either
Finally she realised that she would have to quit so she went to AA for a while
This really helped her at the beginning but as her alcohol free life began to take shape she decided that AA would not work for her long term
She made it easier on herself during those first few months by not going out much – and explaining to her close friends that she needed their support, she needed them to be her accountability partners
Anele is now 6 months sober with absolutely no desire to drink again
She is a proud member of our Tribe Sober 6months+ whatsapp group – people on this group have navigating those early choppy waters of sobriety and are now discussing the next stage of the journey
The stage where we create a beautiful alcohol free life – a life we don’t want to escape from
We talked about sobriety benefits and having more energy is a big one
Anele explained that she was always tired when she was drinking
Alcohol  saps our energy (and our motivation) so when we’ve been sober for a while we’ll begin to rediscover our enthusiasm for life
We’ll want to explore new projects and we’ll have the energy and TIME to do that.
If we’ve been drinking for years then the fatigue will have built up – easy to confuse this tiredness with the ageing process but just wait until you start enjoying high quality sleep and you’ll feel amazing!
Anele had always kept a journal – when she was drinking her journal entries were often angry ones but these days she uses it to celebrate her wins and to process her emotions – she’s feeling all the feelings and she’s learned to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
I asked her for some tips for newbies – she made the very good point that if you are thinking about your drinking and if you are listening to this podcast then it’s a sign you need to take action.
Did you know that the average timeframe that someone waits between accepting that they have a drinking problem and acting on it is 11 years!
That 11 more years of worrying and becoming more dependent!
We know that reaching out for help is the hardest thing of all but why not do it today – go to ts.com and hit join our tribe – or email me janet@tribesober.com
You’ll never regret it and it could just change your life
You can follow Anele on Instagram – her handle is ndlovu_anele
 
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
to join our mailing list click HERE 
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
 
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 
 

Don’t Wait for Rock Bottom - with Sam Delaney

Sam Delaney is a journalist and broadcaster.  I contacted him after I found his article in the Guardian saying that he is having more fun than ever now that he is sober – and he is 7 years sober just like me!
Sam hosts two podcasts himself – one of which is called The Reset, a podcast in which he chats to guests about mental health, addiction and recovery
He has just published a new book called: Sort Your Head Out -  Mental Health…without the Bollocks
In this episode:-
 Sam’s drinking career got off to an early start when he would go to the park with his friends at the age of 12 – drinking cans of warm beer taken from parents houses
He thought nothing of it – it was just what kids did – totally normalised
We agreed that times have changed and that a lot of teenage drinking came from the fact that we had so much time on our hands in those days
Time to drink, to smoke weed and getting into fights was a kind of hobby to pass the time!
Of course these days kids spend much of their spare time online which has a positive side to it
In real terms the stats tell us that the UK streets are safer than they were in the 1980’s, in spite of constant headlines about knife crime
Sam’s drinking didn’t become problematic until his late 30’s when his lifestyle hit a perfect storm
The combined pressures of his career, young family, hectic social life as well as maintaining his Jack the Lad identify left him exhausted
Exhausted mentally physically and emotionally
We talked about the “false narratives” that are common among drinkers and Sam’s internal narrative was that he was doing this for the family
The drink and drugs were acting as fuel to get him through the day and night – the fun was long gone
Another false narrative was that it wasn’t harming anyone – whereas in fact his wife was becoming increasingly worried
If she expressed her concern he would become hostile and tell her not to try to control him
We agreed that the term “rock bottom” was yet another false narrative and that the last thing we should do is wait for the rock bottom
Far better to step off the slippery slope as soon as possible rather than think you are fine until you get to that place!
We agreed that drinking feels like freedom at first but for some of us it becomes a prison and makes our life very small
We lose the ability to enjoy everyday pleasures
The example of not seeing the point of a walk in the country unless the destination was a pub says it all!
Towards the end of his drinking Sam would wake up each morning feeling awful and resolving not to drink that day – but of course he always did. 
He was trapped in the Groundhog Day prison of daily drinking
He indulged in yet another false narrative – the one about if you’re drinking expensive wine then you must be a connoisseur rather than someone with a problem
Of course whether a bottle of wine costs £20 or £8 its still ethanol!
One day he booked a session with a therapist at the Priory and that started his recovery
I love the fact that he chose what he calls a “hybrid” approach – a bit of AA, a bit of therapy, a lot of reading and most importantly community support and sharing.
The modern recovery movement offers a pathway for everybody – and there is no reason why we can’t mix and match the various approaches
We need to throw the book at our sobriety and do whatever it takes!
With 7 years of sobriety Sam can look back on his journey and realises that he’d been white knuckling for the first couple of years
It was only a work crisis that made him re-evaluate and realise that he had to go deeper
He’d been isolating and realised that he had to “do the work”
Part of that work has been connecting with people in recovery and having conversations for his podcast or his articles
I’ve done pretty much the same and learned so much from my podcast guests
One of his revelations during sobriety was that it wasn’t a binary choice – he didn’t have to choose between the Jack the Lad drinker lifestyle or the “sober serious hippie talking in psychobable” as he puts it
He could still be Jack the Lad but it would be a sober Jack the Lad with a bit more self awareness and self compassion
I loved what he said about how boring drinking becomes after a few decades – about how nothing different ever happens
Whereas sobriety is a real adventure and most people have no idea of how awesome their alcohol free life will be before they embark on the journey!
He made the very important point that when we ditch the booze we can examine our life and discover what we do that are legitimate sources of fun - what is still fun...even without the drink?
Sam mentioned Christmas and Football as examples of alcohol free fun!
Conversely what did we waste time on because they were only bearable because they were accompanied by alcohol?!
Alcohol actually dumbs us down which can result in us spending time doing stuff or hanging out with people we don’t really enjoy
For Sam the realisation that he actually had much to enjoy in his everyday life only came with sobriety
He’s written his book “Sort Your Head Out – mental health without the bollocks” for people feeling anxious, depressed and not knowing how to cope
The book title is a clear message that this is not the usual self help book – and is aimed at people who would probably never read a self help book
Bearing in mind that suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK I think this book will save lives
It’s the book Sam needed 10 years ago – when he was feeling that way
If Sam had read this book he feels he could have avoided his 10 year descent into alcoholism
I loved the book and it’s worth buying for the brilliant subtitles alone
One of the subtitles is “Glamorize Rest” – or to be more precise The Grind is Bullshit so lets Glamorize Rest!
Since the Thatcherism of the 80’s we’ve all been encouraged to keep our noses to the grindstone and its been a badge of honour to be “busy”
This culture has led so many people to burnout
It’s time for a change – to change the competitive nature of busyness and start showing off about how many naps we had!
Sam's favourite chapter – and mine is called “Thank You Alcohol”
We were both driven to a point of crisis by alcohol – a crisis that opened us up to a new way of life
Had we been normal drinkers we wouldn’t have been so incentivised to do the work and to change our lives so radically
I asked him for tips and he quoted his therapist who recommended “playing the movie forward” when hit by cravings
His therapist also reminded him that nobody ever regrets having had a drink the previous evening!
We both agreed on the importance of sharing – the huge relief we feel when we realise that there is nothing wrong with us – we just got addicted to an addictive substance like 20% of social drinkers do!
If you’re looking for a safe and supportive community where you can share your ups and downs please go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe to read about the support we offer
Do grab a copy of Sam’s book – Sort Your Head Out - I loved it and the chances are that you know someone battling with depression who really needs to read it
I read it on Kindle, its available on Amazon and any London based listeners can pop down to Barnes Bookshop and get a signed copy from Sam when he pops in for his daily visit
Check out Sam’s podcast – the Reset and you can also subscribe to his newsletter on Substack.
He’s on Twitter @DelaneyMan and Instagram at theresetsam 
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
to join our mailing list click HERE 
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
 
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

A Sober Mom in the Wine Mom Culture with Adrienne Stillman Krausz

 
My guest this week is Adrienne Stillman Krausz, a lady with a very sophisticated palate.  Her passion for fine food and wine began when she lived in Paris during her formative years. 
Adrienne went to college in the US but while her fellow students were downing beers and jello shots she was heading downtown to drink expensive craft cocktails.
She lives in the Nappa valley with her husband Jake who is a 2nd generation wine maker and as a couple they turned their talents to the alcohol free space.
In this episode
I think Adrienne is quite unique in that she has "a foot in both camps" as she puts it
I love the way that together with her husband they are busy sourcing and curating the very best AF products – with the same care that would go into fine wines
As they say on their website they believe that everyone deserves a good drink, whether it has alcohol or not!
Adrienne admits that she did sometimes go overboard on the craft cocktails and as a newly married couple two bottles of wine was the norm most evenings
She did begin to feel the after effects of that wine in the morning and never really bounced out of bed feeling great
As they started to think about having a family Adrienne stopped drinking during the week
However that meant that the weekend drinking affected her more
Coping with fertility problems led Adrienne to give up drinking completely
She also had to give up eating various foods with led to bouts of FOMO when she was socialising
She got a taste of what us ex drinkers go through in early sobriety!
Happily Adrienne became a mom and now has a 9 month old baby
That’s when she noticed the mommy juice culture
Hanging out with some other moms she was surprised to hear plans to drop off the babies and so they could drink some cocktails
She noticed that some wine brands were targeting moms and we agreed that wine was sometimes seen as a “parenting aid”
Mommyjuice gives our children the message that it’s so difficult looking after them that we need wine – not to mention the more general message that we use wine as a coping mechanism
Adrienne’s interest in alcohol free drinks began when she met a sober coach who recommended that she try them.
She was very sceptical and her expectations were low – she couldn’t really see the point
However when she started tasting the various choices she was blown away by the quality
Together with her husband they started researching – and were both inspired.
She feels that the US is just scratching the surface but there is a lot of innovation going on
Adrienne and her husband concluded that there were some great choices available but that the AF space was difficult for the consumer to navigate – so they decided to become “curators.
They would be retailers of alcohol free drinks but only of drinks that they had sampled and enjoyed
They would be two experts providing advice and education around their products
They launched the Dry Goods Beverage Company in Summer of 2021.
Their best sellers are the alcohol free wines and she particularly recommended Copenhagen sparkling teas – perfect as an aperitif as its crisp and refreshing.
Adrienne explained that these teas provide the depth and nuance that the AF wines sometimes lack
She also reminded us that AF spirits should always be mixed rather than drunk neat.  That’s why the cocktail recipes are so important.
Adrienne has kindly offered our listeners a 10% discount on their products so just use the coupon code TribeSober
The website is drygoodsdrinks.com and they are @drygoodsdrinks on Instagram
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
to join our mailing list click HERE 
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
 
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

Rebranding Sobriety with Claire Comai

There have been dramatic changes in the recovery space over the last decade
Just 10 years ago you were either a normal drinker or you were an alcoholic and you went to AAWe now understand that alcohol dependence is a spectrum with many different stages between the merely sober curious and the problematic drinker
ven if you are that problematic drinker you don’t have to go to AA any more -we now have a modern recovery movement with many different pathways to getting sober
Part of that modern recovery movement is driven by young sobriety influencers – just like my guest today Claire Comai of Rehab Studios
In this Episode
Claire got sober at the tender age of 24 so her drinking career was very short but it was pretty intense!
She first tried alcohol at about 15 and just loved it – as she says she was obsessed with it straight away and the only reason she wasn’t drinking all day every day was because she lived with her family and had to go to school!
She drank when she was at high school and would blackout all the time
Claire had health consequences and got herself into risky situations
She had absolutely no off switch and felt something change in her brain after that first drink
She went to uni in Montreal, a huge university where no restrictions were put on drinking
Worried about her frequent blackouts Claire put lots of rules in place but of course like most of us she usually broke them!
She ended up in hospital several times after drinking sessions and began every day with a hangover
She used to see an addiction counsellor every week but all they did was to set new rules for her drinking
Then came the intervention – she was helping her sister move apartments and discovered the rest of the family waiting there – sitting in a circle
By this point her family were desperately worried about Claire’s drinking so had gathered together to let her know how they felt
This intervention was a real eye opener for because she knew she was hurting herself with the drink but had no idea how it was affecting the people that loved her
Her parents were very emotional but what really struck her was the fact that her younger sister had been staying awake at night worrying about her – when as the older sister Claire should have been a role model
The intervention worked and she threw herself into sobriety – she went to AA and got a Sober Coach
She did feel that she had been pushed into sobriety by her family and felt annoyed that her drinking career had been so short but over the months she began to feel better and better
We agreed that the first few months are really really had but then it gets SO much easier and the benefits start coming in
If you are in early sobriety and don’t have a community you should know that connecting with others on the same path makes a huge difference
It’s really hard to do this alone so please reach out – just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe – or drop me a line at janet@tribesober.com
Claire was usually the youngest person at the AA meetings and would often be told that she was so lucky to be getting sober at 24 -gradually she began to believe them!
She now has more than 3 years of sobriety but still goes to meetings about twice a week – like us she believes that connection is the opposite of addiction and we must stay connected
Even if we have a supportive family and lots of friends they won’t really understand us like other people who have struggled – they may innocently try to convince us that we’ll be ok to have just one glass of wine now, that’s something people in your sobriety group will never do!
Like many of us Claire began to feel passionate about sobriety and began to speak out – to be a younger person in the world of recovery sharing her story
We always advise our members to get a project in early sobriety to keep those sobriety blues away – if you want to know the science behind this strategy then listen to Tribe Sober podcast episode 55, my interview with Dr Loretta Breuning.
Claire is a great example of how having a project can keep you motivated and on track
Her project is a apparel and jewellery brand called Rehab Studios
Like many of us she is an all or nothing person and has thrown herself into designing and managing this wonderful project
Check out Claires website which is called https://www.rehabstudiosny.com/ - she has some lovely items on there and she ships worldwide
You can find Claire at rehabstudiosny on TikTok and Instagram,
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
to join our mailing list click HERE 
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
 
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 
 

How to Stop Binge Drinking - our number one podcast!

 
I learned recently that only 10% of podcasters manage to publish more than 100 episodes so today I wanted to mark the fact that the Tribe Sober podcast is still going strong after 150 episodes!
Yes it’s hard work getting out a weekly episode but it’s also been such a pleasure connecting with some fabulous guests and of course getting feedback from listeners all over the world.
I’ve taken a deep dive into our podcast archives and highlighted the top ten most popular episodes
At number 10 we have 3 podcasts with 1,700 downloads!
10. The Happy Brain with Loretta Breuning 
That was Dr Loretta Breuning – author the Happy Brain. 
I always learn a lot from my guests and my conversation with Loretta led me to a personal lightbulb moment which actually changed the advice we give to our community.
It’s common to experience a low mood in early sobriety – a spell of anhedonia.
It certainly happened to me so I discussed this with Loretta
She taught me that we don’t have to just grit our teeth and get through this difficult patch – there is a way out!
A way to trigger our happy chemicals and banish those early sobriety blues
It’s fascinating stuff so do have a listen to the interview – Tribe Sober podcast episode 55 on Apple podcasts or via this link
10. “Take a Break”
Another episode that came in at 10th place with 1,700 listens was the episode called “Take a Break” – 3 Tribe Sober members talking about the benefits of taking a break from the booze.
We believe in Challenges here at Tribe Sober - every year we run 2 #Sober66 Challenges as well as our Dry January Fundraiser.
On this episode we hear from 3 ladies who did a 66 day Sober Spring - why did they sign up?  what was it like?  what tips do they have? 
Have a listen to Claire, Helena and Pam and if you’re inspired you can go to tribesober.com and sign up for the next #Sober66 which starts on 20th March
Find this episode on Apple podcasts Tribe Sober episode 75 or via this link
10. Rebranding Sobriety with Susan Christina 
The third episode at number 10 is my interview with the fabulous Susan Christina from Hola Sober.
Susan Christina is on a mission to rebrand sobriety and make alcohol free living as attractive and glamorous as we thought drinking was
She’s an advocate for the modern recovery movement and wants women to take back their power! 
Susan Christina publishes a gorgeous 100 page online magazine call Hola Sober, packed with features and inspiration – I’ll put the link in the shownotes https://linktr.ee/holasober
The episode with Susan Christina is called Rebranding Sobriety – episode 67 on Apple or via this link 
8.  Casey joins up the dots... between drinking and anxiety
Next up is an interview with Sobriety Coach Casey Mcguire Davidson with 1,800 downloads
Like me Casey was caught in the corporate workhard/playhard culture as well as the mommyjuice trend…using alcohol to cope with stress and anxiety and becoming  more dependent over the years…
But somehow we both found our way out of that trap and now we are finding joy in helping people to do the same
 We talked about the strong women we come across in our sober communities – and how many of us managed to hold it all together through the drinking years. Once we are liberated from the shackles of alcohol addiction there is no stopping us and we go on to achieve great things. 
We agreed that yes Sobriety is definitely a Superpower!
Catch Casey on Tribe Sober podcast episode 66 on Apple or via this link
7. Is your Lizard Brain the Boss with Staci Danford
Coming in at number 7 is neuroscientist Staci Danford which also has had 1,800 listens
Staci is a neuroscientist who loves working with the sober community.  In this episode she shares some really practical and useful information about our brain.
Staci explained how our primitive lizard brain will go on autopilot unless we intervene – she calls her Lizard Brain Earl and calls him out if he tries to hijack her behaviour!
She confirmed that our #Sober66 Challenge is long enough to create a new neural pathway to change our drinking patterns
She also said that the “secret sauce” of our Challenges is the community support
Our next #Sober66 Challenge starts on 20th March so just go to tribesober.com and you’ll see the sign up box on the homepage
You can catch Staci’s episode on Apple podcasts, episode 57 or via this link
 6.  Why we need to ditch the drink in mid-life with Lori Massicot
Next up in our Top Ten is Lori Massicot, also with 1,800 listens.
Lori Massicot a midlife sobriety coach.
I discovered Lori when I found her podcast – it’s called “to 50 and beyond” – it’s a podcast aimed at women in mid-life where she highlights the beauty of aging and the freedom that comes along with alcohol free life.
I was 63 when I finally ditched the booze so as you can imagine we had a great conversation about how giving up alcohol is one of the best things we can do for ourselves as we get older.
Let’s remember that 20% of social drinkers WILL become dependent over the years
That’s exactly what happened to most of our Tribe members who are now busy supporting each other and changing their habits
So if you want to improve your health and increase  your happiness just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe.
Catch Lori’s episode on Apple podcasts episode 72 or via this link
5. My Relationship with Alcohol with Eusebius McKaiser 
Holding down the number 5 spot with 1800 downloads is South African journalist and broadcaster Eusebius McKaiser
He signed up for our Dry January Fundraiser a few years ago and much to his surprise he’s maintained his sobriety. 
We first met when I was on his radio show reading out my Goodbye to Alcohol Letter. 
A goodbye letter is a cathartic and powerful ritual that can help us draw a line under our drinking years. 
During our conversation Eusebius shared the benefits he is experiencing and explained how he has substituted different kinds of music for alcohol - to stimulate the right mood when he is writing.
You can it via this link or on Apple podcasts episode 29
Eusebius and I also recorded another Tribe Sober podcast episode together – called Busting Sobriety Myths – episode 77 on Apple podcasts or via this link 
 4.  Why we get hangxiety with William Porter 
At number 4 with 2000 downloads is another podcast about anxiety!  – title was “Why we get Hangxiety and my guest was William Porter.   
We talked about "hangxiety" and how it's caused by chemical changes in our brain - when it becomes over-sensitised
If you drink a bottle of wine every night then your brain will take the first glass as a signal that the rest of the bottle is coming!
That's why moderation is so difficult - and it's exhausting as we are thinking about it all the time
Dependency happens once we learn (consciously or subsconsciously) that another drink will quell the anxiety caused by the first
FAB is responsible for many people falling off the wagon as they think they can now have "just one" - which is not sustainable
William also explained that it's a complete myth that alcohol helps you sleep - the truth is that it ruins our sleep!
This conversation is on episode 50 on Apple podcasts or you can access it via this link
3.  How I ditched the drink with Clare Pooley 
At number 3 we have the fabulous Clare Pooley with 2,100 downloads
Clare is the author of “Sober Diaries” and a wonderful example of how your dreams can come true when you ditch the booze. 
Her sober blog not only helped her to stay on track but it attracted a publishing deal which led to the sober diaries – she then went on to write two further novels. 
Her childhood dream was to be an author and now she is!
CLAIRE's TOP TIP - she reconfigured her day - went to bed at 7pm (to avoid evening drinking) and got up at 5am feeling great!
As cooking the evening meal was a big temptation for her she cooked it in the morning and heated it up in the evening
Her blog - the obstacle course went viral and is essential reading in early sobriety – I’ll put the link in the shownotes
Clare's key message in her blog is to keep going however hard it gets - stopping and starting is the hardest way and means you are doing the hardest bit – over and over
The episode is number 39 in Apple podcasts or via this link
 2.  How I quit drinking and started a tribe with Janet Gourand
At number 2 is my story with 2,200 downloads
I talk about my long struggle with alcohol – how I nearly drowned by passing out in my bath at the age of 25 and carried on drinking
How I got breast cancer - and carried on drinking
How a "walking, talking blackout" made me (finally) ditch the drink
I talk about my quest for sobriety, my failure as an AA member and how I finally got sober. 
I share my motivation for founding Tribe Sober and read out my Goodbye to Alcohol Letter.
This was the very first episode of the Tribe Sober podcast so is episode one in Apple podcasts – or via this link
People often find podcasts by googling key words so the fact that our most popular podcast was called
“How to Stop Binge Drinking” would indicate that a lot of people find themselves without an off switch once they start drinking.
I certainly fell in that category – a couple of glasses every evening and probably a binge once a week.
If you’ve ever wondered exactly how much you have to drink to constitute a binge you may be surprised to learn that:-
Binge drinking is defined as consuming 4 or more drinks on one occasion for women or 5 or more drinks on one occasion for men
Australian sobriety coach Kathryn Elliott was a binge drinker
1.  How to Stop Binge Drinking with Kathryn Elliott 
Kathryn would be in a cycle – go for it, recover, go for it, recover
She didn’t really see this as a “problem” even when she started having blackouts at 16 – some blackouts which involved driving
If you listen to last weeks Tribe Sober episode with Professor Nutt you can hear him explaining the science behind blackouts – and the fact that blackouts can actually lead to brain damage!
She could go for weeks without drinking and challenges like Dry January were easy for her but she would always see these dry periods as permission to binge before and afterwards!
As Kathryn looks back on those short periods of abstinence she realises they did nothing to help her understand her binge drinking habit
Women need to understand that binge drinking is particularly dangerous as it can take up to a month for our liver to recover from a heavy session.
We tend to think that once the hangover has gone we can start drinking again but that just piles more damage on top of the existing damage.
Episode 113 on Apple podcasts or access my conversation with Kathryn via this link 
So that’s our top ten podcast episodes – thank you to our amazing guests and of course to our listeners!
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
to join our mailing list click HERE 
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
 
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

SENTIA - Buzz without the Booze? with Professor Nutt

Professor David Nutt was sacked by the UK government in 2009.  He was dismissed for reporting on the comparative harms of various drugs.  He claimed that ecstasy and LSD were less dangerous than alcohol which didn’t go down well as the government would not even acknowledge that alcohol was a drug in the first place! 
In 2010 he published a landmark study in The Lancet – a study that ranked the harm done to users and society by a range of drugs.  His study put alcohol as number one – as more harmful to society than heroin and crack.
Since leaving his government position Professor Nutt has been chairing Drugs Science, an NGO which does ground breaking research and provides independent, evidence based information on drugs.
He’s been engaged in some fascinating research into alcohol, cannabis and psychedelics and for the last few years he’s been working on the development of a drink which has just been launched in the UK – called Sentia.
Sentia is a new type of drink that doesn’t contain alcohol but aims to recreate its relaxing effects.  The blend of botanicals in Sentia does this by enhancing the activity of a neurotransmitter called GABA in the brain.
Since recording the interview I’ve been lucky enough to sample Sentia and can report that not only is it delicious but it certainly does hit the spot and deliver a gentle buzz.
I drank mine neat with lots of ice and enjoyed the spicy bitterness.
Our lucky UK listeners will be able to order it right now and hopefully those of us in the rest of the world will get to sample it soon.
In this Episode
David’s interest in the effects of alcohol began during his career as a doctor.
Like most doctors he would see patients who had been damaged by alcohol practically every day
His goal has been to produce a drink which provides the buzz of alcohol without the harm
Sentia replicates the positive effects of alcohol (sociability and relaxation) without the negative effects (aggression and dependence)
Alcohol affects the brain a bit like a sledgehammer whereas Sentia is much more targetted
The benefits of alcohol kick in after one or two drinks when it affects our GABA system which keeps the brain calm
But if we push the dose up to more than two drinks then it affects other brain neurotransmitters and can lead to more-ishness, craving, binging, amnesia and hangovers
So the Prof has found a way to minimise the unwanted effects.
Sentia has been designed by a world-renowned team of botonists, innovators and scientists and it only targets the GABA system
The fact that the herbs which have been used to create it can be found in nature and have been used for centuries means that it’s exempt from food safety testing.
We talked about the fact that if alcohol was invented today it would never pass any of the rigourous food and drink safety tests which new products have to go through
David reflected that alcohol seems to have a special and privileged status in the world and came up with the interesting comparison with the fact that guns seem to have a privileged place in US law
He also pointed out that alcohol kills more people than guns each year!
I googled this stat and discovered that 45,000 people died from gunshot wounds in 2020 whereas alcohol related deaths average around 140,000 a year in the US alone - 3M worldwide
I asked the Prof if Sentia was safe for those of us in recovery – he made it clear that Sentia is not a medicine or a therapy
However it will not create dependence and it will create a feeling of relaxation
He sees it as a good alternative for people who are vulnerable to alcohol dependence
At Tribe Sober we always say don’t drink alcohol free drinks if they trigger you so we would advise the same approach with Sentia
The advantage of Sentia is that it’s not fake alcohol so probably is unlikely to trigger ex drinkers
Sentia is available in the UK right now and you can read more about it on the website which is sentiaspirits.com 
International distribution has its challenges but the first step may be to get it manufactured in the US and it could be sent as a concentrate to other countries – watch this space and we’ll keep you informed
David took us through what happens in our brain when we drink alcohol
First neuro transmitter to get hit is GABA – which makes us feel calmer, more relaxed and more like socialising
Drinking more than a couple of glasses will trigger dopamine, a stimulant which will make us want more and is why we go on binges
It also releases endorphins which contributes to addictiveness and lack of control
Carry on drinking and we start to block the most important neuro transmitter - Glutamate which keeps us awake
Glutamate is vital for consciousness and for laying down memories – so that’s why we get blackouts
Blocking glutamate can lead to brain damage, withdrawal and is responsible for hangovers.
I told the Prof about the 6 hour walking talking blackout that finally made me decide the quit
He confirmed that blackouts are a huge red flag as there is a danger of brain damage
We talked about the fact that deaths from liver damage in the UK have increased 3-fold in the last 30 years
This is because the real price of alcohol has reduced to a third of what it was 30 years ago and availability has also increased dramatically
If David was in government he would address this is by limiting availability and increasing taxation – these two measures would massively reduce the harms of alcohol
More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
 
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

Quit Drinking and Banish Anxiety with Molly Desch

 
By the time single mom Molly Desch was in her thirties she was hitting the alcohol hard. 
Newly divorced she dived into the online dating game with enthusiasm and with hindsight she can see it was much too soon.
She got very depressed and found herself in a suicidal state but she fought back…she ditched the booze, did the work and is in a very different place today.
 
In this Episode
Molly was a rebellious teenager so the drinking started back then
By her late twenties Molly was drinking heavily but never questioned it as it was so normalised
In her thirties the drinking got really bad – freshly divorced she got back into the dating game far too soon
As a single mom she was trying to keep it all together but felt she was going downhill fast
Working from home she would be drinking in the mornings while she was doing online meetings with colleagues
Hit by a serious depression she found herself sitting in her car with a loaded gun as she contemplated suicide
Her son called her at that moment and begged her to come home
She did go home and immediately called her mom who came to stay with her
Molly knew she had to quit drinking but had no idea how she was going to do that and felt terrified at the prospect
She went to AA which did help although she rebelled against the concept of being powerless and the rigid structure of the steps.
After 3 months she left AA which is when Covid hit – that helped her stay sober as she couldn’t go anywhere
She managed her first year of sobriety but was not really doing the work – just not drinking..
Perhaps that’s why she had 3 relapses in her second year
Her last relapse was during her leaving party at a job she had been at for a decade – her colleagues put on a Happy Hour for her and she went completely over the top
THAT was when she realised that she had to do the work and she threw herself into it with great enthusiasm
She spent hours in the library – perusing the non fiction shelves and pulling out any books that appealed to her
Molly was trying to discover who she was and what she actually wanted out of life
She devoured self help books and loved the quitlit memoirs
Her favourite book was "Braving the Wilderness" by Brene Brown
We agreed that the Artists Way by Julia Cameron was a great way to unlock creativity and we both do our morning pages
Molly did lots of journaling which allowed her to build new habits, build a sobriety toolbox, discover who she was and finally began to love herself
She learned to set boundaries and began a daily meditation practice as well as yoga
Molly got in tune with her intuition and started paying attention to it
She takes pleasure in everyday activities like gardening and walking her dog
Her top 3 benefits of sobriety are better relationship with her kids, waking up in the morning feeling great and getting to know who is she really is and what she wants out of life
One of the ways that she sustains her sobriety is by staying open to opportunities – one day she received an email about a coaching course and decided to jump on a free call to find out more
The call led her to qualifying as a coach and quitting her job so she could focus on building her coaching practice
These days Molly is thriving in her sobriety and loving her work as a coach – to find out more about her coaching go to her website which is asyouarelifecoaching.com 
You heard Molly say that she had notebooks all over the house. She’s now taken the content from those notebooks and created a beautiful workbook about taking back control and redefining how you want to live – it’s called Wine Stole My Dreams – if you’d like a copy then just email janet@tribesober.com and I’ll send you one.More Info
Subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
 
Help us to Spread the Word!
We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.
If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.
Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!
We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.
You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram.
You can join our private Facebook group HERE.
 
PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).

The Intoxicating Lies of Alcohol with Meg Geisewite

This weeks podcast guest is Meg Geisewite who has written an excellent book shining a light on some of the many Lies and False Promises that alcohol makes.
She’s called her book "Intoxicating Lies" and she shares her own highly relatable story while busting myths about alcohol that have shaped the limiting beliefs of many drinkers.
Her book uncovers surprising insights into the alcohol industry and our society’s obsession with the mommy wine culture. 
In this Episode
After college Meg did some modelling and as she puts it she was "the poster girl for Alcohol" – she was Miss Budweiser and the Guiness Girl to name just two of her modelling gigs
Fully buying into the false messaging from Big Alcohol that we need alcohol to have fun
As she got married and had children she found herself sucked into the mommyjuice culture – seeing it as an essential parenting aid.
The turning point for Meg came when as she puts it “My alcohol use was no longer recreational, it was medicinal”
This is a red flag of dependence for so many of us
If you’d like our free PDF called “30 signs you need to take a break from alcohol” then just email me – janet@tribesober.com
For Meg the shift from pleasure to medicinal came as she went through a particularly stressful time in her life
She felt “dutiful yet dead”, people pleasing and taking care of everybody’s needs but her own.
At this time she was seeing wine as a reward when she could finally grab some “me” time
Of course she now knows that this perceived “reward” was just adding to her stress and anxiety and as the external stressors reduced she found herself with a nightly wine habit
She plucked up the courage to tell her therapist that she was worried about her drinking – only to be told that she was simply thinking about it too much
That ill judged advice resulted in Meg drinking for 2 more years
We agreed that whatever your therapist/doctor/friend says to you about your drinking if it’s on your mind then reach out for some help and advice
Go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe to join a sobriety community who can enable you to change your relationship with alcohol
We agreed that the stigma needs to be lifted from women and their drinking and we need to talk about it more openly
Of course that’s what Meg is trying to achieve with her book and what I am trying to achieve with this podcast
Society likes to put people in boxes and pushes the false belief that if we are not homeless alcoholics then we are fine
In fact we are likely to be somewhere on the Alcohol Use Disorder spectrum which is vast
Rather than compare ourselves with down and out alcoholics we should be comparing ourselves with the best version of ourselves we could be
Meg’s moment of truth came when she found herself resenting her kids staying late at school to do sport as it was interfering with her wine drinking time
She realised that she was no longer in control and this scared her
That’s when she joined Sober Sis – thinking that the 21 day reset would enable her to drink moderately
She just wanted some tools to help her to drink ‘normally”
Of course “normal drinking” is yet another intoxicating lie – once we’ve crossed the line into dependence we need to quit drinking completely and stop hankering after moderation
Moderate drinkers just moderate, they don’t have to join a reset program!
We agreed that in fact Sober Sis 21 day reset program appeals to a lot of people who are dependent but believe that they can moderate
The important thing is to bring these people into the conversation and that’s what we do with our 5 day Bootcamps – just go join our free Facebook Group called Sobriety Bootcamp and you’ll be ready to participate in the next one
For Meg the veil of lies about alcohol began to lift as she read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
She felt great at the end of her 21 day challenge and decided to stay curious and continued on a 90 day challenge
That’s the way to do it – step by step – we avoid the F word at Tribe Sober – the thought of giving up alcohol Forever is just too daunting at first – so go for 30 days, then 100, then 6 months and then a year. After an alcohol free year it’s highly unlikely you’ll want to start drinking again – unless you are still harbouring a false belief that alcohol can add something to your life
We talked about the importance of mindset and Meg told us that 6 of the ladies in her sober community were going on a trip to Paris – although they had 6 months of sobriety they still felt that alcohol would enhance the experience – as she says they are stuck in the “deprivation” mindset which means they are still relying on will power to stay sober.
After 100 sober days Meg began to get glimpses of just how awesome an alcohol free life could be and kept asking herself “what if I kept going?” – it’s so important to stay curious
She did and now she is three years alcohol free
We agreed on the importance of being in a sober community as we progress further in our journey – Meg talks about the “drinking amnesia” (also known as Fading Affect Bias) that struck her 15 months into sobriety
We need our community to remind us that its only FAB
We need our community so that we realise we are not alone in this
We need our community so that we can ditch the shame
We talked about Sober Firsts and how tricky they can be – Meg had to call on her community when she was at a dinner in early sobriety and challenged for being boring
A community will give you LIVE advice – we get people on our groups saying – "Help! - how can I cope with this situation?" and we are always there to talk people down
So if you’re looking for a sober community then go to tribesober.com, hit join our tribe and read about the support we offer
Meg devoted her Year One of sobriety to educating herself about the science and as she moved into Year Two it was more about the "heart work" within her sober community
She describes heartwork of returning to love yourself, finding self compassion and shedding the shame
Meg found herself wondering why we aren’t warned against the dangers of alcohol
In fact alcohol was registered as a number one carcinogen by the WHO back in 1988 but that information is rarely highlighted in the public domain
Have a listen to my podcast interview with Professor Stockwell called The Deadliest Secret we all must share – highlighting the link between alcohol and 7 different types of cancer
It’s rather ironic that it's left to QuitLit authors and podcasters to draw attention to the dangers of alcohol – but perhaps the message is more powerful coming from people who have struggled with dependence
So please buy Meg's book and share this podcast to help us get the message out there to some of the many people who need to hear it
Megs book is called Intoxicating Lies and is available on Amazon
Her website is called intoxicatinglies.com
More Info
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If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
 
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