Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!

Undefended Joy

Undefended Joy
Choosing Willingness, Acceptance, and Faith This Holiday Season
The holiday season can be joyful — and it can also be triggering. Family dynamics, social gatherings, unmet expectations, and old habits often leave us feeling tense, reactive, and searching for relief.
In this episode, Lynette explores a powerful and compassionate practice she calls Undefended Joy — a way of meeting life without armour, self-protection, or resistance.
Drawing on teachings from Dr. Julia DiGangi and real-life experiences, Lynette shares how willingness, acceptance, and faith can gently replace the need to escape with alcohol or other numbing behaviours.
This episode is not about forcing happiness or “getting it right.”
It’s about softening, staying present, and discovering that joy becomes available when we stop fighting reality.
In this episode, you’ll explore:
Why so many of us drink or overdo things in search of relief
The difference between being undefended and being defenseless
How willingness creates emotional resilience and mental fitness
Why the opposite of certainty is faith
How accepting difference (in ourselves and others) reduces conflict
A simple question to ask when you feel triggered
Why joy is not something to chase — but something that emerges when fear loosens its grip
Lynette also shares a gentle invitation to support yourself through the festive season with Tribe Sober’s Festive Open House, offering free access to community support, inspiration, and live sessions.
A question to reflect on:
What would it look like to meet this moment — just as it is — undefended and willing?
 
🎄 Tribe Sober Festive Open House
For the first time ever, Tribe Sober is opening its doors for a Festive Open House from 21 December to 2 January.
It’s completely free and gives you a chance to sample:
Daily inspiration
Community support
Live Zoom sessions
Practical tools for staying sober and grounded over the holidays
👉 Visit tribesober.com, sign up for monthly membership, and use the coupon code OpenHouse12
If you need help, you can also email mon@tribesober.com
 

When your Partner Drinks... Couples Therapist Zach Brittle

My guest this week is  couples therapist Zach Brittle who is based in Seattle 
I was able to pick his brain about that very common question we hear from some of our members –
How can I quit when my partner drinks?
 
In this episode:-
Zach's drinking escalated during COVID lockdown—he felt depressed and family relationships were under strain.
He reached that point that many of us get to – his “not this" moment as we call it in Tribe Sober
He approached a sober friend, Dave, who became his sponsor and helped him to work the 12 steps
He only attended a few in-person AA meetings but actually found a South African online meeting that became his home group – so he has a soft spot for us here in SA
He quit alcohol quickly and without too much trouble, but deeper emotional recovery took much longer.
Zach stressed the difference between quitting drinking and being sober.
His marriage had involved heavy shared drinking and his wife had been his drinking buddy
But after he got sober, his wife began to drink more and had her own recovery journey to tackle
Their 15-year-old daughter also “spun out” as the family system recalibrated
Family members are now all healthy and connected
I loved Zach's analogy as a family being like a child mobile – hold one piece steady and the other pieces wobble – how true
Zach had some great advice for partners struggling with a drinker who won’t change:
Take care of yourself first — get grounded and stable.
Build your “healthy place” and invite your partner into it.
You can’t decide their behaviour, but you can decide what works for you.
Early sobriety is fragile — ignore comments like “you’re boring.” Focus on your own survival.
Zach's Top Benefits of Sobriety
Feels like an adult for the first time in his life.
Sleep transformed — falls asleep naturally, sleeps through, wakes refreshed.
Clear mind & emotional stability — no hedging, hiding, or dodging.
Better marriage — calmer, more intimate, more predictable.
Massive financial savings — used to spend ~$12k/year on bar tabs.
Advice for Anyone Struggling
Ask yourself: “Am I ready?”
If yes, do the work: find community, a sponsor, a meeting, a book, a mentor.
The work isn’t quitting alcohol — it’s understanding yourself and building emotional sobriety.
Zach’s Podcast & Work
Hosts Marriage Therapy Radio — weekly episodes with real couples.
Has published books and has a new one coming in 2027 on relational recovery.
Works mostly in person in Seattle but does some online work.
Zach Brittle is his website
More Info
 
Tribe Sober subscription membership – you can join up HERE.
To access our website, click HERE.
If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email janet@tribesober.com.
If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email janet@tribesober.com.
to join our mailing list click HERE 
 
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up todayRead more about our program and subscribe HERE
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PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device)
Open the Podcasts app. EASY.
Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field.
Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).
Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.
Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).
 

Navigating the Holidays Sober

In this episode, Lynette shares a deeply personal story from her early sobriety and offers powerful insights on how to navigate the holiday season alcohol-free. From understanding your emotional triggers to anchoring into your Sage energy, Lynette guides you through practical and heart-centered ways to stay grounded, proud, and connected during a time that can feel overwhelming.
 
You’ll also hear the story of Anna, a woman who created her first joyful alcohol-free holiday through intention, structure, and emotional leadership — a journey that mirrors what’s possible for all of us.
 
Whether this is your first sober Christmas or your tenth, this episode will help you walk into the holiday season with clarity, confidence, and compassion for yourself.
 
🎄 Want more support?
Join Lynette on 10 December at 5pm SA time for a gentle, practical masterclass on navigating the holidays alcohol-free.
Email lynette@llrcoaching.com or mon@tribesober.com for details.

Slender for Life with Dr Ginny

My guest this week is a psychotherapist Dr Ginny who has had her own struggles with alcohol and food addiction.
Dr Ginny had a long history of drinking - since college
Like many of us she was “High-functioning” — working as a director for a non profit
Drinking + emotional eating became her escape
Hit crisis point at 55: inflammation, pre-diabetic, struggling to walk
Realised she was heading toward chronic illness — and possibly a nursing home
🍷 Drinking & Denial
Told herself it was “self-care”
Rationalised with rules (“only weekends”, “never a bottle... then more”)
Depended on wine to soothe stress, numb emotions
Felt ashamed, trapped, out of alignment with her values
Emotional crash cycle: regret → resolve → repeat
“She would say every morning, ‘I won’t do it tonight,’ and by the end of the day I wanted it again.”
💡 Turning Point
Came when she worked in a nursing-home and many patients her age
Realised alcohol + ultra-processed food = metabolic decline
Fear of losing mobility + independence
Began exploring science-based nutrition and alcohol-free living
Joined Annie Grace’s work early & became a coach
🥗 Healing Through Nutrition
Quit drinking and ultra-processed foods together
Focus on abundant, nutritious whole foods
Massive improvement in:
Inflammation
Sleep
Weight (lost 60 lbs naturally)
Pre-diabetes reversed
Mental clarity + emotional calm
📚 Her Program
Slender for Good
Science-based nutrition & mindset work
Focus on adding nourishment, not restriction
Works especially well for women in midlife & recovery
Book: Slender for Good After 50
🌐 Where to Find Her
Website: slenderforgood.com
Works with clients worldwide via Zoom
If Dr Ginny inspired you to avoid that metabolic decline she spoke of then why not buy her book “Slender for Good” and sign up for a Tribe Sober membership.
On December 1st we open our Annual Fundraiser for Earthchild –  make a small donation to this very good cause and in exchange you’ll get a month of support.
Just go to tribesober.com and click on the Earthchild Banner…
 

Episode 6 : Your new chapter begins

🦋 Episode 6 — Becoming the Butterfly
In this final episode of the Butterfly Series, we close the loop on your transformation journey — from your Not This moment all the way to stepping into the new chapter of your life.
This episode is all about decisions:
How to make them, how to stop living in the “miserable maybe,” and how to choose your future self with clarity and power.
In this episode:
✨ The final stage of metamorphosis — choosing to fly
✨ Decisions ahead of time (especially for the holiday season)
✨ What “decision debt” is and how it keeps you stuck
✨ A simple 2-step tool to evaluate any decision
✨ Why sobriety is one big decision supported by many small ones
✨ How to step into 2026 feeling empowered and intentional
🎧 A Key Reflection From This Episode:
“Indecision is a life thief.
Most people fear making the wrong choice so much
that they make the worst choice of all —
no choice.”
You learn how to remove fear from the driver’s seat
and choose from your future self,
not your past self.
 
Special Invitations
🎄 10 December — Holiday Season Sober Support Call
A live session to help you navigate triggers, social pressure, and emotional landmines during the holidays. For more information email lynette@llrcoaching.com
🚀 Accelerate Your Sobriety — a Tribe Sober Program
Start 2026 feeling clear, strong, and alcohol-free.
Register here: https://www.tribesober.com/accelerate-2/
Work with Me
For private coaching, PQ mentorship, or the Path to Purpose programs:
📩 lynette@llrcoaching.com
 
Music
Intro/Outro: “Remember” by Sutherland
(used with permission)
 
🦋 Closing Note
Thank you for walking the Butterfly Path with me.
This may be the final episode —
but it’s truly just your beginning.
Freedom is your beautiful name.

Mastering Uncertainty: Learning to Fly When the Wind Changes

Show Notes – Episode 5: Mastering Uncertainty — Learning to Fly When the Wind Changes
Series: Becoming the Butterfly – A Tribe Sober Mini-Series
Theme: Emotional Power, Uncertainty & Self-Leadership
Music: “Remember” by Sutherland 🎵
🦋 Episode Summary
In this pivotal episode of Becoming the Butterfly, Lynette guides listeners into one of the deepest truths of transformation:
You cannot become the butterfly without learning to live with uncertainty.
This conversation explores how uncertainty — not alcohol — is often the real challenge on the sobriety path. With wisdom drawn from Dr. Julia DiGangi’s emotional energy work, Lynette explains that uncertainty isn’t a situation to control… it’s an energetic relationship with yourself to transform.
Through stories, lived experience, and profound insights, this episode teaches you how to stop collapsing into fear, overthinking, overworking, over-busyness, and over-drinking — and instead step into self-assurance, inner steadiness, and emotional power.
✨ Key Insights & Nuggets
1️⃣ The Real Challenge Isn’t Alcohol — It’s Uncertainty
We don’t fear the event… we fear how we’ll cope.
Uncertainty makes the nervous system panic:
racing thoughts, tight chest, shallow breath.
This drives the impulse to drink, overwork, over-please or retreat.
2️⃣ Uncertainty Lives in the Self — Not in the Situation
You cannot engineer life into certainty.
You can only strengthen the self who meets uncertainty.
This is emotional leadership.
3️⃣ Why We Overthink, Overwork, Over-Give, Over-Drink
All the “overs” come from a dysfunctional relationship with certainty.
Your brain is trying to create safety…
but the very behaviours you use to feel safe become the behaviours that hurt you.
4️⃣ The Pain Behind the Pain: Self-Abandonment
The real suffering happens when you:
say yes when you mean no
drink to fit in
silence your truth
shrink your needs
seek reassurance instead of information
Self-abandonment is always painful.
Self-return is always powerful.
5️⃣ Becoming the Hero of Your Own Story
Shift from reassurance-seeker to information-seeker:
Ask once.
Ask to learn.
Stand inside uncertainty without collapsing.
This is self-trust.
This is power.
6️⃣ The French Lesson Moment
The shame of “not knowing” is often self-judgment, not external judgment.
Saying “I don’t know” without collapsing is emotional mastery.
7️⃣ You Don’t Need Certainty — You Need You
The butterfly doesn’t wait for perfect wind.
It learns to fly with the wind.
 
📝 Journal Prompts
Where does uncertainty show up most strongly for me?
What “over” behaviours do I use to avoid it?
How do I abandon myself when I feel unsure?
What would it look like to be an information seeker?
Where can I practice saying “I don’t know” with compassion?
 
🌿 Community Is Not for Reassurance — It’s for Wisdom
Tribe Sober is a knowledge circle.
A place to learn, share honestly, and rise together — especially inside Accelerate.
 
⚡ Accelerate Your Sobriety — Free Webinar Invitation
2026 is around the corner.
If you want to start the new year grounded, confident, and free… join us for our free webinar this Sunday where Lynette and Janet introduce the brand new 6-week Accelerate Program.
👉 Register here:
https://tribesober.mykajabi.com/stop-drinking-webinar
This program is for you if you want to:
build sober momentum
feel emotionally powerful
create habits that hold
rise beyond uncertainty
reconnect with your Future Self
🎧 Credits
Host: Lynette Le Roux
Series: Becoming the Butterfly – Tribe Sober Podcast
Music: “Remember” by Sutherland
Connect: lynette@llrcoaching.com | tribesober.com

Building Your Power Pattern

🎙 Episode 4 – Building Your Power Pattern: Creating the House You Want to Live In
A Tribe Sober × Lynette Le Roux Mini-Series — “Becoming the Butterfly”
Music: “Remember” by Sutherland |
 
🦋 Episode Summary
In this fourth episode of Becoming the Butterfly, Lynette returns from the Tribe Sober 10-year celebration in Bali, filled with gratitude, inspiration, and connection.
She reflects on Triber Sober members sharing their own Power Pattern—a personal mantra or energetic blueprint that helps hold them steady when life feels hard. From “Too blessed to be stressed” to “There’s only ever one Day One,” to “Choose your hard”, these mantras became the foundation for a deeper teaching about how to rebuild the inner home of the mind.
Drawing on the work of Dr. Julia DiGangi, Lynette explains how the brain predicts safety through familiar patterns—and how recovery means gently interrupting the old sequence (“long day → wine → regret”) and installing a new one (“long day → breathe → rest → peace”).
Through simple, sensory Power Actions, Lynette invites you to build your own Power Pattern—your new emotional house filled with light, space, and freedom.
 
✨ In This Episode
A heartfelt reflection from Bali
Why your brain keeps choosing “apple, apple, apple” — and how to switch it to “apple, apple, pineapple”
The “house you live in” metaphor for rebuilding your inner world
How to design your Power Pattern — a mantra that feels like home in your body
Everyday examples of replacing old alcohol cues with new rituals
Why repetition redecorates the brain — and how to make calm your new familiar
Journal prompts to help you create your own Power Pattern
🪶 Listener Reflection Prompts
1️⃣ What pattern feels most familiar after a long day?
2️⃣ What new pattern would feel like home in my body?
3️⃣ What sentence helps me remember who I am when life feels hard?
4️⃣ Complete: “I am the butterfly emerging, and freedom is my beautiful name because…”
 
💡 Takeaway Quote
“Your Power Pattern is the house you live in.
Build it with intention, fill it with peace,
and you’ll never want to move back into the old one again.”
 
💌 Invitation
2026 is around the corner, and if you want to start the new year feeling fabulous, join Lynette and Janet for the free Tribe Sober Webinar on 16 November.
They’ll introduce the brand-new six-week Accelerate Program — designed to help you build momentum, confidence, and joy as you keep growing your wings.
👉 For more info, visit www.tribesober.com or email lynette@llrcoaching.com.

Episode 3 - Breaking the Sound Barrier : Living at the Edge

Episode 3 — Breaking the Sound Barrier: Living at the Edge
A Tribe Sober × Lynette Le Roux mini-series
Music: “Remember” by Sutherland  |  Length: ≈ 18 min
 
🦋 Episode Summary
Recorded on the morning Lynette set off for Bali to co-host Tribe Sober’s 10-year celebration, this episode explores how every real transformation passes through turbulence.  From Brooke Castillo’s “currency of growth” to Phil Stutz’s “doorway of pain,” from Julia DiGangi’s edge of emotional power to the Positive Intelligence truth that we need to grow our mental six pack—each teacher reveals that the edge is not our enemy.
Through her personal story of “surfing the urge,” Lynette shows how to stop taking the edge off and instead expand your edge—to move through fear like Chuck Yeager breaking the sound barrier and to emerge, like the butterfly, into calm air and new freedom.
 
✨ What You’ll Learn
Why discomfort is the currency of growth
How to use Phil Stutz’s Reversal of Desire—“Bring it on”—to walk through pain now, not later
How Julia DiGangi’s Edge of Emotional Power expands your capacity for energy and balance
How Positive Intelligence helps you grow your mental six pack
The Three F’s practice: Feel it → Feed it → Focus forward
The dramatic true story of Chuck Yeager’s sonic-boom breakthrough as a metaphor for personal freedom
How to turn the thought “I need to take the edge off” into “I’m expanding my edge and growing my wings.”
🧭 Reflection & Practice
Try this:
1️⃣ Pause before the old habit or coping behaviour.
2️⃣ Breathe and whisper, “This is the edge.”
3️⃣ Feel it. Feed it. Focus forward.
4️⃣ Repeat the thought: I’m expanding my edge. I’m growing my wings.
 
Journal Prompts:
Where am I trying to take the edge off instead of listening to what the edge wants to teach me?
Dear Edge (or Dear Urge), what would you have me know?

Visioning the Butterfly

Becoming the Butterfly — Episode 2: Visioning the Butterfly
Crossing the River of Change
 
Series: A 6-part Tribe Sober x Lynette Le Roux mini-series
Host: Lynette Le Roux
Music: “Remember” by Sutherland — used with permission
 
Episode summary
 
From the Not This awakening to the imaginal becoming: Lynette maps how Brooke Castillo’s Model (C→T→F→A→R) meets the butterfly’s cocoon. You’ll practice creating from your future self, activating “imaginal cells” of new thoughts and feelings to shape different actions and results.
 
What you’ll learn
The cocoon as the river of change where the old dissolves and new wings form
How thoughts (the “imaginal cells”) create feelings → actions → results
A practical way to think from your future self instead of your past
 
Reflection & practice
Write two Models: (1) Old Self and (2) Imaginal/Future Self
Practice the new feeling (from your future self model) for one minute daily this week
 
Timestamps (optional)
00:00 — Opening: “Remember” (Sutherland)
00:44 — Welcome & recap
01:45 — Cocoon & imaginal cells
02:22 — The Model explained
06:38— Wine example (two realities, one bottle)
08:30 — River of change (a.k.a. “river of misery”)
09:56 — Future-self visioning practice
12:45 — Revisit your Why List
13:49 — Two-model journaling + daily feeling rep
16:37— Wisdom Echoes
17:18 — Call to action & teaser for Ep 3
18:08 — Outro: “Remember” (reprise)
Links
Tribe Sober: https://tribesober.com
Email Lynette: lynette@llrcoaching.com
Call to action
If you’d like help with your Models or crafting your future-self vision, email lynette@llrcoaching.com and let’s start a conversation.
Credits
Host & writer: Lynette Le Roux
Collaboration: Tribe Sober
Music: “Remember” by Sutherland (used with permission)
 

“The Butterfly Knows: A ‘Not This’ Moment”

Butterfly series: Episode 1
“Not This — The Moment the Butterfly Knows”
 
Series: Becoming the Butterfly (6-part mini-series with Tribe Sober & Janet Gourand)
Host: Lynette Le Roux
Music: “Remember” by Sutherland (used with permission)
 
Episode summary
Lynette opens the series with the tender, catalytic moment of “Not This”—the quiet inner knowing that your current life no longer fits. Through the butterfly metaphor, mindfulness (Ellen Langer), and Positive Intelligence, she invites you to notice where your own wings are beginning to stir.
 
What you’ll learn
Why a Not This moment is both painful and sacred
How surrender (the cocoon) precedes transformation
A gentle mindfulness lens: “the simple act of noticing new things”
A reflection prompt to begin moving from awareness to change
 
Reflection prompt
 
Journal: “I don’t know exactly what’s next, but I know… not this.”
Then ask: “If not this, what feels lighter, truer, more alive?”
 
Timestamps
00:00 — Opening music: “Remember” (Sutherland)
00:44 — Series intro & collaboration with Tribe Sober
03:52 — Lynette’s story: the Not This moment
07:23 — Teaching: Mindfulness in transformation (Ellen Langer)
09:34 — Reflection & call to action
10:47 — What’s next in the series + how to connect
13:25 — Outro music: “Remember” (reprise)
 
Resources & links
Tribe Sober — community, challenges, and support: tribesober.com
Email Lynette — coaching & programs: lynette@llrcoaching.com
 
Teaser — Episode 2
Turning Not This into a clear vision: Lynette introduces the cognitive tool that changed her life and how to cross the “river of misery” with compassion and practice.
 
Credits
Host & writer: Lynette Le Roux
Collaboration: Tribe Sober & Janet Gourand
Music: “Remember” by Sutherland (used with permission)